It has been over twenty years since my wife, Pat,
died, on Father's Day, 1987, from a cancerous
brain tumor that was inoperable. She left
behind fine memories for everyone.

Pat was beautiful on the outside,
and so very caring on the inside.
 
Pat loved people, her family, 
and her profession as a teacher. 
She was a real teacher; She didn't leave her work
in her classroom, she brought it home.

Included in her homework were her "kids,"
as she called her students. If one of
them wasn't doing well she would 
speak to them, and their parents. 
She took the time to say, "I care."

During her teaching career, she helped 
over 27 of her "kids" to stop using drugs, and
2 were stopped from suicide; simply because
she cared enough to take the time.

Because of her dedication and love of
teaching, many of her "kids" have grown, 
gone on to lead very productive
lives, and have received many blessings.


During all of Pat's illness, 
she remained very positive.  
Pat knew God had a plan for us all.

The day the Doctor told Pat of her brain tumor,
we were together in her room in the hospital.  
We held each other, cried, and prayed together.
We left it all in God's hands.  We also decided Pat 
got all the positives, and I would get all the negatives.

That night the staff at the hospital 
brought in a candle light dinner for us to share 
together and talk.  Halfway through the dinner, 
Pat got up, and went to the door.  
I asked, "Pat where are you going?"  
She paused and looked at me, and said.  
"There is a little older lady across the hall,
she's been crying, and no one has 
visited her all day.  I am going to say Hi."  
That was Pat...She cared.

In the Hospital, Ohio State University, 
which was a teaching Hospital, there were 
2 Doctors, Doctor Gahbauer, and Doctor Goodman, 
were incharge of Pat’s care.  Also, there were 
13 young ‘Doctors in training’ to be reviewing 
Pat's progress, and those of other terminal 
patients too daily. These young Doctors to be 
came in early each day to stop by to see Pat first, 
because of the positive attitude she 
had taken to fight the devilish cancer.  
We had given the battle to Him.

We all, including Pat, had time to prepare
for her leaving us, but often many
don't. Last evening I was given the
opportunity to help a friend prepare.
This is the reason for this page... 
for you to use and know we care.
 
We all are selfish and want our loved
ones to always be with us. We don't
want them to die and leave so many
things unsaid, or unfinished. We dream
together, play together, and we don't
want it all to end. If they get 
sick, we help them to get better
in any way we can. We give them 
their medication; take them to 
the doctors; what ever it takes. 
But God's plan sometimes doesn't
meet ours. We get upset and don't
know which way to turn when the
doctors tell us, "I'm sorry, 
they'll only be here for a little
longer." We cry, we call, we run 
everywhere, but we cannot find the
answer as to "why." 

Go and see your friend, or family, to tell 
them the things that you want to say.  Also,
they may have something they need to say to you.

We first have to understand that God 
does not cause pain.  He Loves us. 
Pain is the devil's tool.

Second, all we have to do is ask,
and He will answer. Put your trust in
Him and do the best you can.

I know this because he answered my
prayer. Read the following and you,
too, will know. He answered my prayer,
but it wasn't what I wanted to happen.
 
Pat had been diagnosed for about nine
months.  She had been hospitalized for tests,
exploratory surgeries, and Experimental cancer 
treatments.  At times she was quite ill, but pat  
left you with positives, never negatives.

One late night after I had returned home from
visiting her in the hospital and had put our
kids to bed, I went to my study to read the
Bible and learn how God answered prayers. My goal
was to find the tools to chase this devilish 
cancer from Pat's body. There I read, "All we
have to do is ask." 

I knelt down in front of the window,
bowed my head and crossed my hands tightly.
First I told the devil to leave Pat
and take the cancer with him. Then I
asked God for a sign that she would 
be okay. I was specific, too. I asked that 
He give me a rose on one of the two 
new climbing rose bushes I had planted 
earlier in the spring. It was Fall and as 
the roses were new, I knew it would be His sign 
if a rose should appear.
 
I went out each day and checked the rose bushes
for my sign for two weeks; nothing. Things got
busy and I forgot to check. 

Then one day I was home and it began to rain heavily.
All of a sudden water was running off the
front of the eaves and down the side of the
house; something had plugged the downspouts.
So out in the rain I went. I got my ladder
and began the task of removing the leaves
and twigs that were clogging the eaves
toward the downspouts. Then, I moved to the
end of the house and did the same thing. 
Finally, the water rushed down the downspouts
and into the drains.  

As I was coming back down the ladder, 
I noticed something different 
about one of the rose vines. 
It just  wasn't normal and looked like a bug had
built a nest in the side of it. A great big
knot was on the middle of the vine. As I was
about to snip that runner off and let the rest
of the vine grow stronger, I remembered my 
request for a sign.
 
Each night after the neighbors turned their
lights off -- so they wouldn't think I was 
crazy and because it was Fall and the nights
were getting cold --out I went with a 
hand towel to wrap the special vine. 
In the morning before everyone got up, 
I would take the towel off. 
This went on for a couple of weeks, nothing. 

One day I was so tired that I slept late and
forgot to take the towel off the vine. That
night when I was about to go to bed, I 
remembered and went outside to check the vine.  
The towel was wrapped around the vine, 
but the wind had picked up again, 
and it was cold. 

I noticed the towel on the vine had
shifted from the wind, so I went to re wrapped it...
but it just wouldn't wrap the right way. Tenderly,
I began to unwrap the towel to start over again.
That's when I noticed something really different.
To see what the heck was going on with that
knot, I got my flashlight and looked closer.
There they were!! Little pink stripes, a rose
bud and the answer to my prayer that Pat would
be okay. I thanked God and was so excited I 
could barely sleep that night.
 
I went to the hospital and found that 
things still were not going well for Pat and
she was getting weaker. Her body had changed
because of all the pain medicine she was 
taking for the headaches caused by the brain tumor;
she was going down hill. 

One morning I received a call at work to
come home. Pat had slipped into a comma and
it didn't look good; I really hesitated, 
because I didn't want to face what was
about to happen. I got in my car and drove
to be with her. She was breathing, but it
wasn't good; her breathing was so labored.
That night I slept on the floor next to her, 
prayed, and listened. 

The next morning We were at Pat's side when 
the nurse came to check her vitals. 
The nurse was early, too, 
because it was Father's Day. 
Pat's breathing was really hard, and 
we prepared for the last.

The nurse was explaining how Pat's system
was shutting down and then it happened. 
Her body took a deep breath of air 
and it came out.
Then her breathing stopped... 
She had gone to Heaven. 

What most of us fail to understand, or remember,
is that with God time is not the same. 
Even though Pat has been gone for 
twenty-one years, we are with her. 

Even though you and I are reading these words, 
time has slipped by and we, too, are with Him. 
To God time has no meaning like we use it daily.
 
Know, also, that God does not use pain as a 
tool to remind us, He loves us. 

Even though I cannot see Pat today, 
I know she is okay. 

I still have that rose that God gave me.
It's as beautiful as the day I picked it from 
the vine. It has it's own little glass house.
It's for my children as a reminder that their
mother, my wife, is okay!

For those that are experiencing cancer within 
a dear one, Always hang on to the memories.  
Laugh with them, and cry with them.  We are
selfish in that we want our loved ones with us 
always.  You have to do something that makes  
something happen that your loved one would like 
to see done.  Whether it is to plant a little
garden, or plant a tree, or talk to people that
need to understand that God loves us all.  
Think about it,  you will know what it is.

God answered my prayer that Pat would be ok, 
but it wasn't what I wanted....
AND I know Pat is ok.

Do somthing for your Pat.  Accent something special that 
your loved one always gave to others.  Maybe it is a letter
or note about them and the way they put positives in their 
lives.  Give it to others, and make them smile.

Given to you, because of our Love for Pat, 
and her love for all.


Terry, Justin, and Kimberly Nitz
c/o terryenitz@yahoo.com
 GB&TC