“Now Serving”

Written by Sam Gafford

Art by Rick Hudson.

PAGE ONE:

Panel One: Splash panel taking up the full page.

It is night. A beautiful young woman, preferably blonde and *ahem* well-endowed, is running towards the reader. She is in a wooded, forest area and her dress is tattered and worn. She shows signs of having beaten off an attack and is visibly distraught. Her name is JANICE WILTON. She is not carrying any baggage (purse, etc) and is missing her left shoe. In ordinary circumstances, she would be gorgeous but this is not an ordinary circumstance. She is running for her life from the vague shadowy forms in the distance. These are zombies but we should not be able to make them out distinctly at this time. The Brute’s head (the narrator) is in the upper left corner as he introduces the story.

CAPTION:     Yes, you’ve heard this before. Flesh-eating zombies rising from their graves to feast on the brains of the living. But you haven’t heard THIS part of the story before!

CAPTION2:   Janice Wilton. She’s made the mistake of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Now, during this Dance of the Dead, she could end up paying the ultimate price… her life!

JANICE:         Helllllllpppppppp!

TITLE:           NOW SERVING

CREDIT BOX:           Written by Sam Gafford. Art by Rick Hudson.

PAGE TWO:

Panel One:

            Long panel. Janice trips and falls down. The shadowy figures are getting closer now.

            JANICE:         Oof! Ow!

Panel Two:

            Regular panel showing a closer view of the shadowy figures. They are obviously zombies and have rotting flesh, missing teeth, ragged clothes, the whole nine yards. There are three of them. Two are women and the third is (or was) a young man. In life, they would have been fairly attractive and the women look vaguely similar to Janice in that they have the same body type and are (or were) blonde. They are obviously the walking dead.

ZOMBIES:     (in dark, menacing lettering) Brains…… brains…… brains……..

Panel Three:   Shows Janice standing up with her back against a tree. She has a determined look on her face and is gripping a large tree branch in her right hand. She is really pissed off. We can see her over the shoulders of the zombies.

            JANICE:         I cannot believe this! I am not going to die like some stupid blonde in a low budget horror movie.

ZOMBIES:     (in dark, menacing lettering) Brains…… brains…… brains……..

            OFF-PANEL VOICE:            Hey! Uglies! Over here!

PAGE THREE:

Panel One:      Large action panel. A rather handsome man leaps between Janice and the zombies. He’s shooting at one with a pistol in his right hand and has a large butcher knife in his left. He is covered in blood and dirt and looks as if he’s been in a war. He has a couple of handguns stuck under his belt. A close equivalent to him is Bruce Campbell from the EVIL DEAD movies. This is KARL PALMER. This panel should look almost like a satire and over the top spoof of the zombie movies as he shoots the man zombie in the head. Janice recoils in almost as much fear from Karl as she does from the zombies.

            KARL:You’re Number 23!

Panel Two:     Karl jams his knife into the head of one of the zombie women and shoots the other one in the head.

            KARL (to first zombie woman):        Number 12!

            KARL (to second zombie woman):    Number 20!

Panel Three:   Karl extends his empty left hand to Janice. He is covered in blood and smiling. As much as anyone might deny it, he is actually enjoying killing these zombies very much but for reasons of his own. He’s also checking out Janice and likes what he sees. She is definitely his “type”.

            KARL:Come with me if you want to live.

            JANICE:         Who the hell are YOU?!

            KARL:Name’s Karl Palmer. These are my woods. I think it’s more appropriate for me to ask you who you are and what the hell you’re doing here!

Panel Four:     Karl and Janice are making their way down a forest path. It is a little overgrown but still passable. She is holding his hand and trying to keep up with him. There are more shadowy figures in the background. As they’re running, Karl fires his gun into the head of another zombie in the foreground.

            JANICE:         I’m Janice Wilton and I didn’t intend to be here! My car got run off the road about a mile back by these things! What the hell is going on anyway?

            KARL:The Dead have come back to life and they’re not too happy about it!

            KARL:Number 24!

PAGE FOUR:

Panel One:      Karl gets between Janice and a couple of other women zombies as he shoots. He is almost the equivalent of an Indiana Jones Zombie fighter.

            JANICE:         How is that possible? The dead don’t just come back to life!

            KARL:Does it matter? They’re here and they’re hungry.

            KARL:Number 8! Number 6!

Panel Two: Karl running away from the viewer. Janice is trying to keep up. The forest is thinning a bit and there is a ramshackle house ahead of them. It is small and run down. This is Karl’s objective.

            JANICE:         Where are they all coming from? Is there a graveyard nearby?

            KARL:Yeah, kind of.

Panel Three:   Karl is trying to get to the house. If he’s looking for shelter, this is not the best place to go. The shack is barely standing. There are some scattered tools on the porch. Included in these has to be an axe. Karl shoots into the distance.

            KARL:Number 4!

            JANICE:         I don’t remember there ever being a cemetery around here and what’s with the numbers?

            KARL:It’s kind of a family graveyard and I’ll tell you about the numbers later.

Panel Four:     Smaller, inset panel of Karl looking over his shoulder as a shadow falls over him. His eyes widen in shock and fear. He hears the zombie say one word and knows instantly who it is.

            OFF PANEL FX:       BOY!

PAGE FIVE:

Panel One:      Large panel. An incredibly huge zombie is standing between Karl and the house. This is Karl’s father. There should be some family resemblance even though the zombie has been dead for some time. There should be some evidence on the zombie showing that he died of violent causes.

            DAD:  I knew you’d come back here… come back so I could eat your brains!

            KARL:NUMBER 1!

Panels Two through Four:      Shows Karl first trying to shoot the Dad zombie and missing. The Dad zombie smashing Karl with his enormous fists and knocking him down. Janice is in the background cringing, trying to get out of the way and making her way towards the porch. Panel Four should end with Dad zombie holding Karl in a bear hug and getting ready to chew on Karl’s head.

            Panel Two Dialogue:

                        KARL:Why don’t you stay dead?? How many times do I have to kill you??

            Panel Three Dialogue:

                        DAD:              You always was a wuss, boy! You ain’t got the balls to kill me.

            Panel Four Dialogue:

                        DAD:              Now I’m going to have MY feast!

Panel Five:      Close up on face of Dad Zombie. He is shocked and surprised. There is a impact effect around his head and a loud WHUMP! As a sound effect.

PAGE SIX:

Panel One:      Dad Zombie lets go of Karl and falls forward. There is the axe from the porch embedded in the back of his head. Behind him, Janice stands proudly. She has dealt the killing blow.

            JANICE:         Eat that!

Panel Two:     Karl and Janice are standing over the body of Dad zombie. Karl fires a few shots into the head just to make sure.

            KARL (to Janice):     Thank you. I don’t think I could have beaten him again.

            JANICE (to Karl):      What do you mean again?

Panel Three:   Close up on Karl as he pulls the axe out of Dad’s head. His face is half hidden by shadows and he is looking very sinister now and not at all heroic.

            KARL:Remember the numbers? I wasn’t counting the number of zombies I killed. I was keeping track to make sure I got them all. I knew that when they came back to life, they’d come back after me. Dad was the first and the worst of my victims.

Panel Four:     Janice is backing up now, trying to get away from Karl. She is on the porch in the background of the panel and Karl is in the foreground gripping the gory axe.

            JANICE:         I don’t understand! You saved me from them!

            KARL:Only because you’re just my type, sweet Janice. They were all my victims and Daddy always taught me to clean up after myself.

Panel Five:      Karl killing Janice with the axe. Try not to be too explicit here. Maybe show the axe swinging down below the panel border and Janice’s arm and leg sticking up.

            KARL:Don’t you get it? I didn’t save you from them! I was saving you for ME! Now serving Number 31!

Head insert of the Brute laughing:

            BRUTE:         And this was her reward for keeping Karl’s Dad from having a brain feast! Just goes to show how no good deed goes unpunished! HA!

End