Author's Note: Yeah. Spike. Unh. Good.

Previously: Buffy and Spike got together under Jonathan's spell, but broke up the instant it ended. The Scoobies found out that both Buffy and Spike are hopelessly in love with each other and tried to get them back together...with disasterous results...

The door opened with a creak, and the silhouette of a hooded figure stepped into the darkened room, his form outlined by the dim, orange glow of the streetlights outside. He surveyed the occupants in the room carefully, before closing the door behind him and enfolding them all in pitch-blackness.

However, in response to the newfound darkness, another shadowy figure lit the candle before her, the flickering of its flame casting eerie shadows across her face.

“You’re late,” another of the women present addressed the hooded man still in the doorway.

He pushed the hood off of his head then, revealing his features for the first time.

“Sorry, Ahn,” Xander said sheepishly, cuddling into his hooded sweatshirt. “I got held up at work. Why does everyone insist on ordering their pizzas fifteen minutes before we close? And on the coldest day of the year, too…” He shivered slightly and approached the three women. “And what’s with the dark, secret meeting anyway, Will?” he asked the candle’s holder.

“This is clandestine, conspiracy stuff,” the redheaded Witch huffed. “We need the darkness and the candles,” she insisted, crossing her arms in front of her.

“It’s very effective,” Tara reassured her, patting her arm comfortingly.

“Well, I can’t see a thing,” Anya complained. “I can’t even tell if this cookie is chocolate or oatmeal raisin in this light…”

“There are cookies?” Xander demanded with sudden excitement. “Quick, turn of the lights!”

“Oh, fine,” Willow finally conceded, flipping on the switch behind her and illuminating Xander’s way to chocolatey goodness.

“You’re the best cook ever!” Xander informed her enthusiastically through a mouthful of chocolate crumbs.

“Personally, I prefer the oatmeal raisin,” Anya commented, “but that in no way detracts from your all-around baking skills.”

“Yeah,” Xander commented, “so what’d you do this time to bring the guilt on?”

“What? I can’t just bake cookies for my friends now?” Willow demanded.

Everyone else in the room gave her a look, and she blushed.

“OK, so our little matchmaking effort went awry, and now Buffy and Spike are both miserable,” she finally confessed.

“So, why are we getting the cookies?” Xander inquired. “Not that I’m complaining or anything…”

“Because we’re the ones that are going to make it better,” Tara said. “Right?”

Willow nodded. “It’s time to go to Plan B,” she said decisively.

“There was a Plan A?” Xander said in surprise.

“Plan A was subtly implying that they should go see each other and have orgasms,” Anya responded helpfully.

Everyone else’s face suddenly turned a deep maroon color.

“So, er…uh,” Xander finally broke the awkward silence, “what’s Plan B then? Hit them over the head, strip them naked, and tie ‘em up together?”

Willow considered this for a second. “I don’t think we’re quite that desperate yet,” she finally responded, “but that can be Plan C.”

“So?” Anya said, growing boring now that the novelty of Willow’s homemade cookies had worn off. “What’s Plan B then?”

Willow proudly pulled out a sheet of 4x5 poster-board upon which was illustrated a complicated battle plan. “Operation Smoochies: Plan B” was written across the top in bold red letters. Willow gestured for them to all move in around the plan in a huddle.

“This time,” she said in a secretive whisper, “we go out for the full two-pronged attack…”

Buffy started in alarm when desperate pounding began on her door. She flashed a quick look at Willow, who was lying on her book thumbing through a history textbook, before hurrying to unlock the door.

Anya practically collapsed into the room when the door was finally opened, and Buffy managed to awkwardly catch her before she fell onto the floor. Tears were streaming down the ex-vengeance demon’s cheeks as she clung onto Buffy.

“They got Xander!” she managed to exclaim before breaking down in the middle of the room.

Together, Buffy and Willow half dragged, half carried her over onto Willow’s bed.

“What happened, Anya?” Buffy demanded, concerned. “What happened to Xander?”

“A-A gang of Krellik Demons,” Anya said between sobs. “They just…grabbed him. I couldn’t do anything to stop him…”

“Was he all right?” Buffy demanded, worried.

Anya shrugged helplessly. “They knocked him out,” she explained. “I don’t know.”

“We have to find them!” Willow exclaimed in horror.

Buffy nodded. “Do you have any idea where they might have taken him?” she demanded of Anya.

The former demon nodded. “Rumor has it their lair’s in the basement under the music building. I-In the storage room next to the boiler room…”

“Buffy, you have to go now,” Willow insisted, “before it’s too late.”

“You?” Buffy demanded, grabbing a hefty sword from her closet.

“I’ll call the rest of the Scoobies together in case you need back-up,” Willow explained, “and then I’ll stay here with Anya.”

“Right,” Buffy agreed.

“Hurry, Buffy. Please?” Anya pleaded.

“Xander’ll be fine,” Buffy assured her before rushing out the door.

Willow and Anya looked at the closed door for a second before turning to each other. For a second, the looks of terror and grief remained on their faces. And then they began giggling.

“You were perfect!” Willow exclaimed in delight. “How did you do that fake crying thing?”

Anya proudly held up a little bottle. “Fake tears,” she explained. “And people think I’m incapable of deception…”

“That was great,” Willow repeated. “I totally bought it.”

“And so did Buffy,” Anya agreed. “You did a good job, too.”

“Thanks,” Willow said with a small smile before picking up the phone and dialing. “Hey, Xander,” she said after he’d picked up the other end of the line, “Phase One is a success…”

“Th-This is really nice of you,” Tara said nervously, shifting from one foot to another.

“Yeah, yeah,” Spike grumbled under his breath as he fiddled with the lock on the music building, “jus’ better have my money…”

Tara nodded vigorously. “I just need a few scales,” she reminded him, “but i-if you want to kill it… It is pretty dangerous…”

“Still don’ see why you can’t get the Slayer to do this for you,” he complained just as the lock clicked open in response to the latest twist of the pick.

“W-Willow wants this spell to be a surprise for Buffy,” Tara explained.

“Right,” Spike said disinterestedly. “So, basement, next to th’ boiler room?”

Tara nodded. “Good luck!” she called out after him as he disappeared into the building. She listened for a minute to make sure that he’d gone and then whispered: “The coast is clear!”

Xander appeared from around the corner of a neighboring dorm a few seconds later and quickly made his way over to her. “Willow called to say that Buffy’s on her way,” he told her, handing off the cell-phone.

Tara nodded. “Let’s go,” she agreed before they entered the building as well.

They followed Spike at what they hoped was a safe distance and breathed a sigh of relief when he finally slipped into the storage room. With a quick run, Xander slammed the heavy metal door shut behind the vampire and bolted it shut. Almost instantly muffled noises and bangs emanated from the room.

“Stage Two complete,” Xander said with a wicked grin. “So,” he addressed Tara conversationally, “ready to tie me up?”

Tara blushed and giggled before taking the rope Xander had brought with him and doing exactly as he asked…

Buffy smiled at her good fortune when she realized the back door to the music building had been left slightly ajar. She really did feel guilty about destroying school property…even if it was a matter of life and death.

As silently as she could, she crept down to the basement. A slight tingling at the back of her neck told her that something pretty powerful of the demonic persuasion was around, but it wasn’t close enough to worry about yet.

The door to the basement stairs was open as well. Buffy bit her lip for a second. This was almost too easy; it had all the makings of a trap. But still her Slayer sense said that everything was OK, so she took a deep breath and slowly descended the flight of stairs into the bowls of the building.

She flinched and stopped only once when the third step from the top creaked, but nothing came out to attack her, so she proceeded with utmost caution…

And then she saw Xander, and caution went to the wind.

She was at his side in a second, undoing the ropes that held him fast.

“Good timing, Buff,” he breathed a sigh of relief when the gag was removed from his mouth.

“Where are they?” she whispered back, looking around furtively.

“In the storage room,” he responded. “Follow me…”

Buffy could hear muffled words and some slight banging from inside the room and took a deep breath, preparing herself for battle. She nodded to Xander, who opened the bolt of the door – a detail which unfortunately escaped her at the time.

She barged right into the room just as someone else was barging out. Fortunately, her Slayer strength gave her the advantage and she tackled Xander’s kidnapper back to the ground inside easily. She quickly raised her fight to pummel her opponent when she got a good look at the struggling form beneath her…

“Spike?!” she exclaimed in disbelief, her fist still poised in mid-strike.

“Slayer?!” Spike exclaimed with equal confusion, ceasing his struggles for an instant.

“What the hell are you doing here?!” they managed to demand in unison.

And then there was a slam of metal and the distinctive click of the bolt being fastened behind them. They spun to look at the door simultaneously and discovered that they were indeed locked in…

Xander and Tara listened to absolute dumbfounded silence in the room for a second, and then the pounding began anew twice as loud as before.

Tara couldn’t help but giggle as they headed upstairs. It really was quite an impressive racket.

Outside, they were greeted by an equally amused Willow and Anya, who got the thumbs up from Xander before bursting into hysterics on their own.

“That’ll teach ‘em not to have sex,” Anya commented before the four friends returned home, basking in the success of their mission…

“’S’all your fault, Slayer,” Spike accused, finally giving up on the door and settling himself down on the edge of the sofa that rested against the back wall. Apparently, some of the leftover furniture from the dorms was stored here. He was conspicuously not looking at the mattress over against the corner…

“My fault?!” Buffy exclaimed in disbelief. “What’re you doing down here anyway? You weren’t in on the Xander kidnapping, were you?” She raised her sword menacingly.

Spike rolled his eyes and pulled out his pack of cigarettes. “Kidnappin’?” he snorted. “Who the hell d’you think locked us in here, Summers?”

Buffy sighed and brushed her hair back out of her face. “Damn,” she swore, “we’ve been set up, haven’t we?”

He nodded. “An’ well, too.”

“I am so going to kill them when we get out off here,” she declared, stomping her foot on the floor.

“Oh, real good idea,” Spike snorted. “Throw a li’l temper tantrum. ‘m sure that’ll get us out ‘f here…”

“I don’t see you coming up with any brilliant plans,” she retorted.

He shrugged. “Who says ‘m tryin’ to get out?” he said snidely. “’Cause I know sooner or later you’re gonna give in an’ show me a good time…”

“You’re disgusting,” she responded, her face contorting with that emotion. “If anything, I’m the one who has to worry—”

He laughed. “Don’t flatter yourself, pet,” he said derisively. “’S not like you’re irresistible or anythin’. Barely even temptin’.” He plucked on cigarette from the pack.

Buffy raised an eyebrow. “You’re not smoking in here,” she informed him.

“No?” he asked with a sly smirk, placing the fag between his lips and flicking on his lighter.

“There’s no way for me to escape the second-hand smoke,” Buffy said firmly.

“And I care…why?” he retorted, moving to light the cigarette.

In the blink of an eye, Buffy has crossed the distance between them and yanked the cigarette from right between his lips. “Because I can kick your ass,” she retorted, her eyes narrowed.

Spike scowled in return and leaned in close. “You won’t do it, Slayer,” he taunted her.

“Wanna bet?” Her hands were now fisted in his tee shirt.

He snorted derisively. “’f not for this bleedin’ chip, you wouldn’t stand a chance, luv,” he retorted.

“Oh, yeah?” she seethed. “Who kick who’s ass on Parent Teacher Night again? And on Halloween? And during Drusilla’s restoration ceremony? And during the whole Gem of Amara thing?”

“Can’t beat me now, though, pet,” he practically purred, his voice all husky seduction.

“And why’s that?” she demanded, a bit nervously.

“’Cause you want me,” he replied with a confident smirk.

His head turned to the side with the force of her slap. Yes, that’s right: slap. Not punch. The smirk returned to his face tenfold at this knowledge.

“Y-You complete and utter pig!” Buffy exclaimed indignantly.

“Y’know, Slayer, the whole ‘pig’ bit’s gettin’ a bit old,” he said sarcastically. “Whatsa matter? Havin’ difficulty comin’ up with new smartass remarks as of late? Slippin’ a bit?”

“In your dreams, Spikey,” she hissed, gripping him tighter and pulling him up just a little bit closer…

He rolled his eyes. “Oh yeah,” he said, a slight growl in his tone, “y’know ‘s only a matter’a time before I get my fangs good an’ deep in your throat…”

Buffy gulped slightly at the incredibly erotic images in her head. She yanked him another inch closer. “Are we forgetting about the chip?” she teased. “Pool little Spike can’t even take a taste now that he’s chipped. Defanged. Fixed. Neutered.” She stretched her neck a bit for emphasis at this point, giving him a good, long look at what he’d never be able to have.

He licked his lips slightly in response before the cockiness took over once more. “Your loss, Slayer,” he retorted. “Too bad you’ll never get to feel a real vamp’s fangs in your throat.” He glanced at the mark there. “After all, Peaches always did come up a bit…short…”

“Don’t know about that,” she countered, looking him right in the eyes and smiling wickedly. “He felt sooo good inside me,” she taunted. “So strong and deep and—”

She squealed and was cut off abruptly when Spike grabbed hold of her shoulders roughly and shook her. “Why, Spikey,” she began coyly, “we’re not jealous, are we?”

He growled, and his eyes flashed yellow for a second. “Nothin’ t’be jealous of,” he finally responded. “After all, he’s not the one tha’s gonna end your miserable existence.” He yanked her closer, right in his face, her body in danger of falling into his lap…

Buffy scowled at him. “I hate you,” she said venomously. “And, really, there’s no reason I shouldn’t stake you right now. Save myself some aggravation in the future…” She plucked the stake from her waistband and held it right over his heart, threateningly.

He merely smiled in response. “Yeah, right. You’ll never go through with it, so jus’ give up the act, Brittany.”

Buffy’s eyes widened. “Wh-What did you call me?” she asked nervously.

Spike swore internally when he realized he’d reverted to his ‘Jonathan’s spell’ pattern of annoying her. “Brittany,” he finally responded. “After all, you’re jus’ as irritatin’ an’ whiny as—”

“You annoying, arrogant—” she began.

And then simultaneously, they closed the distance between them, their lips coming together with bruising intensity.

Spike’s hand came up to catch her wrist gently, and he massaged little circles into the pulse point there until she relaxed and let the stake clatter to the ground.

Her hand now free, she took the opportunity presented her to wrap both her arms around his neck, pressing his mouth to hers urgently.

His hands pulled her hips into him with bruising force, and she fell into his lap, her thighs straddling her waist.

At the point of their union, their tongues fought and danced, each savoring the taste they’d been dreaming of ever since that stupid spell had been broken a week ago.

Their hips ground together with need, Buffy finding the hardness she sought and Spike discovering her delightful warm wetness.

“Oh god,” Buffy moaned, breaking away from their kiss to gasp for breath. “Want you…”

“Want you, too,” Spike moaned in response before tackling her back onto the couch…

“Has anyone seen Buffy tonight?” Giles commented off-handedly to the Scoobies gathered in his living room. “I thought she was going to stop by here before her patrol…”

The four conspirators exchanged nervous, guilty glances.

Anya opened her mouth to speak, but Xander quickly slapped his hand over it.

“Sh-She probably just changed her plans,” Willow suggested nervously before all four of them turned studiously back to their task of not looking Giles in the eye…

Yes, the next chapter is chock full of smutty goodness. How do you get it faster? Why, by reviewing, of course... ~_^