~Unfolding the Rose~
A flower of God's design;
But I cannot unfold the petals;
With these clumsy hands of mine.
The secret of unfolding flowers
Is not known to such as I.
GOD opens this flower so sweetly,
When in my hands they fade and die.
If I cannot unfold a rosebud,
This flower of God's design,
Then how can I think I have wisdom
To unfold this life of mine?
So I'll trust in Him for His leading
Each moment of every day.
I will look to him for His guidance
Each step of the pilgrim way.
The pathway that lies before me,
Only my Heavenly Father knows.
I'll trust Him to unfold the moments,
Just as He unfolds the rose.
I was able to see later in life what the Lord had meant for me....that the bad in my life would give me the much-needed empathy for the work I do today. As I spent my teen years angry at the world and especially God.....it is hard to understand why He would want me, but He did. I would scream and yell at Him for not just letting me die. If He was such a "good God", so loving and caring, why did He forget me? He saved me from 2 suicide attempts.....the last of which I almost made it. Still with the miracle that happened with that attempt...I continued to mistrust Him. Funny though how I couldn't just stop talking to Him. *S* or walk away from Him.
Finally at the age of 37 He got tired of waiting for me. As I sat in my car at my friends house..( a Christian friend that had been praying for me all along).. a very brilliant light flooded my car. It was a warmth that made me weep because the emotion was so intense. I imagine it to be like the brilliance seen in that woman's quilt. I knew right then that I would never leave Him again or mistrust Him. He never gave up on me like so many others in my life. I wanted to be just like him. I try so hard to give to others...to love others as He does. It is not an easy task and I wonder often how He can continue to show so much mercy to us.
I have learned finally what it means to rely on God....to trust unconditionally....to love unconditionally. I found out that all the hurts and pains allowed much empathy for others. I now run a group home for delinquent teen girls. They are the ones that have been tossed out of three or more foster homes. They are kids that need to see that unconditional love....that acceptance no matter what they did....that mercy.... that hope.
Praise God for His patience and His loving me. I pray I never forget how much He has blessed me.
God bless each of you ..... And may you see the glory of His light upon your face!!!