Lou had known that leaving Rock Creek was going to be hard; she just hadn't realized how hard. She wasn't just leaving her problems with Kid, her confusion over Jimmy's true feelings or a job behind, she was leaving the only 'real' family and home she had ever known, behind as well. She had meant what she had said in her letter about Teaspoon, Rachel and the boys.
Teaspoon was the father she had never really had. It was because of him and the boys that she had learned that not all men were cruel and heartless like her 'real' father, Ivan Boggs. While Teaspoon and her fellow riders were all uniquely different in personalities and backgrounds, they all possessed a lot of the same qualities she had come to admire so much in a man: They were honest, loyal, stubborn, caring, prideful, independent, loving and protective. Most of all, she knew that they would never dream of physically harming a woman or child.
Even though she and Rachel had got ten off on the wrong foot when Teaspoon hired the older woman to replace Emma, they had quickly become fast friends. There wasn't anything Lou felt that she couldn't tell Rachel. Over the past couple of months, Rachel had been her friend adviser and comforter. Rachel had listened to her as she tried to work out her differences with Kid, never once calling her to task for her own behavior. Lou truly felt blessed to have Rachel Dunne in her life.
It was the thought that she would be causing any of them hurt by her departure that made Lou cry even harder. There wasn't anything she wouldn't door or give to Teaspoon, Rachel and the boys, including her life. Just as she knew they would do the same for her. But knowing she was hurting them didn't change her decision, to leave Rock Creek, it just made it harder.
Once Lou had reached the outskirts of town, she had slowed Lightning to a walk long enough to decide which direction she wanted to take. She had been too upset earlier, after overhearing Kid and Jimmy's volatile argument in the barn, to think about where she was going to go once she left Rock Creek. After a few moments, Lou kicked Lightning into motion and headed down the northwestern express trail.
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