December 19, 1999
Is there anything wrong with holding hands? Or is it something only boyfriends and girlfriends can do? How does holding hands signify some kind of intimicy? Maybe, just like a hug, being held by the hand is comforting and just feels good. Is that possible? Perhaps the craving to be held is something ingrained inside since infancy, and is something perfectly normal. Either that or a cry for something more intimate with someone.
December 20, 1999
Once again I realize how plain and unoriginal I am. Why is it that I must copy others all the time? Or is it that they are copying me? In a perfect world, I would guess that I'm being copied, but I'm not. I am a fraud for being original. I am not original. Possibly I think of something first, but then it is there again. modified, and better, but still the same as I. How can I escape this and find my true individuality and not be just another of the same?
December 22, 1999
Well my life as we know it is over. So much for my independence and goals of life. No car of my own, no motorcycle to cruise around on. And is it really my fault? No, no really. It's the stupid doctors, and nurses, and government regulations that make all these changes and rules just to screw up my life!!! I have to do this and do that in order to get this. Well I screwed up!! Okay? Once in my life I let it go and I have to pay consequences. Is that fair? But I guess life isn't fair is it? But why should I have to take my test an hour before driving, have to carry my glucose meter with me and my insulin in the car every time I go out. Will I ever be driving more than four hours at a time? Does it matter anyways, because I'm not allowed to anyways. Now I find out that I can't get my lisence anyways so what does it matter? They change my dosage and I pay the price. Gee that makes sense don't you think? Well you can't count on me for a lift anywhere I guess!!! I won't be driving until I'm a senior citizen when I get a discount. You'll never believe how mad I am!!
Now I'll do a Sarah - On the plus side I got my hair cut ;-) And I was told I was looking spify.
December 26, 1999
Well I survived Christmas...if you don't have anything nice to say - don't say anything at all. I must say it was a quiet Christmas. Until they left. Ahh the joy of rehashing the night's events. Never could understand how come we make fun of that side of the family so much. Oh well. Wanted to go Boxing Day shopping, but didn't want to go if I wasn't wanted...so I didn't go. Figures doesn't it? Oh well. I say that alot "oh well" is it because I'm layed back or I just don't care? I'm thinking it's the latter because I've never been accused of being layed back. Who cares? Hope everybody had a great Christmas. I can't wait for New Year's Eve - Lisa's coming over!!! It'll be great.
December 29, 1999
Well seeing as it's 1:15AM, I think it's safe to say that it is actually the 29th. Went shopping today in Terrebonne. I got some bellbottom jeans that look great with the amazing boots I got. Just trying to shock people as usual. Going to wear them on New Year's. I could possibly wear them on Thurday...hmm. I can't wait for Friday. I get to have Lisa over for the afternoon and she's sleeping over too. As usual we won't sleep and that's a good thing. ;-) Wow 100% fun - what will I do? Currently talking to what seemed like a long lost friend. No special feelings so I'm safe. Nothing happening. Wait - that's not necessarily a good thing. Part of my invisible "do not touch" sign that seems to appear on my forehead, I guess. They are immune to me, and now I'm immune to them. Great. Just great.So much I could write, but so little energy and will to do so. 'Till next time!
December 30, 1999 (1:08AM -I'm being exact, so what?)
Well I spent the afternoon in dustballs so what else is new? The joys of cleaning my room. I'm almost finished though, so I think it will be ready for Friday when Lisa comes. There might be room for her to sleep, lol. Made my fudge for James'. Hope everybody likes it. They should, but as usual I still question it. Here's a thought to close with. I spent all day dusting and cleaning up my room, but I still have one question - How DOES dustballs get into closed boxes?