November Thoughts

November 9, 2003

A little update about the first little bit of this month --
"It's all in the look."
Dancing with one of the Brown boys
Having a great time dancing and laughing and being happy (since it's so nice to see young people like me being happy)
Decision making time (although nothing has been done yet)
"You're an angel," "Do you know how often you've said that to me?" "Well it's true," "So I'm all transparent and have wings?" "Yes ... my eyes ... you're hurting my eyes ... no ... too close...."
Attention deficiency syndrome .... so not helping right now....
But on the bright side - my guys are in the Grey Cup - here's hoping they do just as good as last time if not better ;-)

November 12, 2003

Well there's something that happened recently that is strongly in my thoughts ... but I'm going to ignore it right now becasue whatever I'm thinking is not fit to be read by any of the parties able to access these thoughts of mine.
I did some Xmas shopping today ... got my stuff all bought for the farthest members of the family and got a couple of ideas for the closer ones. Then I had a dinner companion to keep me company and got home in time to think about some homework, watch my shows and ponder a little more.
That's it. It's said and done.

November 13, 2003

Well some might think this to be rash and rude, and possibly even uncalled for, however, with the day I had this is the email my teacher is getting in his inbox today and he's lucky I wasn't more aggressive in my wording.
"Well I went to the courthouse this afternoon (Thursday) to get a copy of a lawsuit for the assignment and came up with quite a few hurdles along the way.
The reception desk at the end of the hall (past the escalators) is the photocopy center and the man there has no useful information unless you have a case number. He spoke very little english and had no idea what "lawsuit" was ... I was at a loss for the french word so I was sent downstairs.
In the basement I was met by a lady at the elevator who spoke no english and was told to go the "dossiers" room. Once in there I introduced myself as a Concordia student and the man working there disappeared completely once he heard I spoke english and a lady with a strong accent tried to understand what "lawsuit" meant. We both were misunderstanding each other and she finally sent me to the 3rd floor.
Once on the 3rd floor, I met a man who was completely bilingual. I was told that lawsuits of that day are impossible to obtain since they were in the process. Once the court date was passed only then do the files get transferred to the basement to be filed and only then is it possible to get a copy made. I was given a little pink booklet to look through and he suggested picking a case from the beginning of the month. Once that was chosen I was send back to the basement to verify if they had that file available.
Back in the basement I spoke to the same lady as before and she told me that only one of the two cases I picked were available. Then I had to go back to the main floor at the end of the hallway where I began my adventure to get a photocopy of the lawsuit.
On the first floor the same man that could not understand me got the file I needed from the back and asked me which part of it I wanted to photocopy. Since I wasn't quite sure what part I needed he told me to look it over while he served the next person in line. He also informed me that it costs $2 per page to photocopy.
I chose the declaration and the front page to copy, and walked away over an hour later and $6 poorer with three sheets of paper.
Needless to say I was extremely not happy, and was wondering if there is perhaps a better way to do this for the next time?"

November 14, 2003

"You two are the perfect height for each other."
"Yes," he says.

November 17, 2003

Well my guys lost ... our Grey Cup Party was really fun though - great fun, great food, great friends ... however we needed an upgrade on some of our players to really clinch it.
Today was the first day dealing with the consequences of the mechanics of the public transit vehicules strike. Had an interesting "zig-zag" drive to school with Dad. Then another interesting hop from buses and walking to get to the possibility of a train ride. I made it though and that was good.
A decision must be made. Option A or Option B. Option B lets no opportunity to ever experience what Option A has to offer, and Option A can only be accepted when the opportunities that Option B offers can be left behind without any regrets. The decision must lie within.

November 23, 2003

Well apparently I'm to greet everybody at work with a hug from now on ... becasue we're all a family. That was news to me Sat night ... but who am I to complain ... once he got his hug he was no longer mad at me so I had to comply.
"So stomach flu eh?"
"Yeah I was leaving for work and just didn't feel so good. I was going to come around midnight, but I just couldn't."
"Hmm... cuz when a guy comes to work with a hickey you kinda begin to doubt his stomach flu story."

November 22, 2003 (1:38AM)

Well a few night of extreme fun are always refreshing and good for the soul.
"What did you do? Vamp up?" "Of course ... I always vamp up when I go out." (Haven't done that in a long time!!)
You're wearing jeans!!!" "Ya ... that's been about a month now."
Catching up and gossiping ... what else do we do?
The certain "manwhore" and his abilities with the waitress ... that is after she got nowhere with her first target.
The slight competition going on ... and of course the best man won ... 32 shots and 3 beers was the final count I think.
Getting completely plastered and not having to worry about anything during that whole night in Peel Pub - what more could a girl ask for?
The seat swapping due to certain smell problems.
Some suprises - the shots that didn't come back up (always a good thing), the social smokers, the dizzy dance floor, falling back into the coats ... nope no wall there, getting into some kind of wrestling fight or something - I'm still not clear on what or how that happened, apparently constantly saying I'm having fun and I"m sorry .... what else do you expect?, the falling all over everybody, needing an achor, the fun ride home - love those 3s, "I wouldn't do that" (and previous to that the seeminly passing of the flame ... or something like that).
The next morning, and still that night, the rehashing of the evening ... it seems tradition I think, the ride home with the extremely "helpful" and "well-informed" navigator, then 2 Advils, wine with dinner and a sugar high - what better way to treat a hangover?.
Then the fun day at work that turned into a hellish adventure. Being hyper and gossiping was fun, then the sick call and the extention of some hours, the manipulation of management power, and the reassembling of workers led to a somewhat discomforting finale.
And finally .... it kinda stings ... but I know its deserving ... "We were an interesting Trio of guys, The Ex, The potential Ex, and the possible next contestant..." that was never my intention, but perhaps things that were meant to be surface in the most unappropriate moments. I don't know how else to explain it.
Looking back ... I'm sure all my behaviour was not appropriate ... but I've always been that way so I'm not sure how to react to this. I know what I'm like, and everyone else does too ... so why should I start stressing over what was said and done if it will all be forgeotten in a few hours by all involved but me? If they can shrug it off then so can I. That just might be my new philosophy.

November 24, 2003

*SIGH* .... seems all the work is done with just an overactive mind. No real need to say anything; it's all figured out already and nothing was said.

November 26, 2003

I know, I should go,
But I'll follow you, like a man possessed
There's a traitor here, beneath my breast
And it hurts me more, than you've ever guessed
If my heart could beat, it would break my chest
But I can see, you're unimpressed
So leave me be
Rest in Peace – Buffy the Musical

I touch the fire and it freezes me
I look into it and it’s black
Why can’t I feel?
My skin should crack and peel
I want the fire back
Drawn to the Fire – Buffy the Musical

You are my best friend
I don't know how I’d live
How I love you
Every square inch
Love your brown eyes
Your forgiveness
You are my greatest gift
I don't know how I’d live
You are my saving grace
You are by heart my true friend
Ode to a Friend – Jann Arden

I wish that I could belong here, with you, and just be,
But that’s not all that I’m about
Jake – Lisa Loeb

I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder
Or return to where we were
Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be
White Flag – Dido

Did I just miss the last exit to Eden
Is this the only love I’ll know
Like a Judas kiss
Did my heart betray me
Back on the road I never chose
There are some sins you can justify
But not the one I’m guilty of
I had a choice one last chance ago
But I turned my back on love
Last Exit to Eden – Amanda Marshall

I want to thank you for giving me the best day of my life
Oh just to be with you is having the best day of my life
Thank You – Dido

If I had a crystal ball, I would throw it against the wall
‘Cause some things, you just don’t wanna know
So don’t try to read my palm, or predict what we’ll become
'Cause the real thing just needs space to grow
I do believe in us, but
But you can’t fast forward through
The kinda deep only time can prove
What’s the rush, baby, trust what faith can do
Let’s not play the game of love with scared money
Let’s not say what we’ll become
Let’s just roll the dice and throw away the cards
You don’t have to push so hard
‘Cause the gypsy in me needs to roam your heart
The Gypsy – Amanda Marshall