Being a Girl

* IT'S A GIRL THING!

* Everyday I give thanks to the Goddess
* I have two mounds upon my bodice
* I shave my legs
* I sit down to pee
* I can justify any shopping spree
* Don't go to a barber, but a beauty salon
* Can get a massage without a hard-on
* I can balance the checkbook, can pump my own gas
* Can talk to my friends about the size of my ass
* My beauty's a masterpiece, and yes, it takes long.
* At least I can admit to others when I'm wrong
* I don't drive in circles at any cost
* And I don't have a problem admitting I'm lost.
* I never forget an important date
* You just gotta deal with it, I'm usually late
* I don't watch movies with lots of gore
* Don't need instant replay to remember the score
* I won't lose my hair
* I don't get jock itch
* And just cause I'm assertive..Don't call me a bitch
* I don't wear the same underwear everyday
* The food in my fridge has no sign of decay
* Don't burp, don't belch and I certainly don't fart
* Ballet, not football, is what I consider an art
* Don't say to your friends, Oh yeah, I can get her
* In your dreams, my dear, I can do better!
* Flowers are okay, but jewelry's best
* Would you look at my face, not at my chest!
* I don't have a problem expressing my feelings
* I know when you're lying, you look at the ceiling
* Don't call me a girl, a babe or a chick
* I am a WOMAN, get it, you prick?