Trying & Hoping
Everytime I wanted to be hugged, moments like that are meant to be embraced right away, but he was not there. I know he wanted to be there but no matter how much he tried, he cannot be there to hug me. You always wondered in life, how great it would to be in love. Whether there would be that reality from the dream world that will coexist. I feel like that dream of mine is so close to reality but yet not touched by me nor him. How sad it is to be so close yet not close enough. There are so much I want to do, especially with him. I want to hold him close to me for hours knowing that in my heart for that matter of time we are together I'll be trouble free from the problems I deal with. Knowing that moment of closeness will bring the warmth of love that will melt away that rock of compressed emotions from my past. Knowing that I will feel safe and secure in his arms. Most of all knowing that he would love me. Just knowing this much, but not experiencing it. Feeling the love in my heart but I don't feel it in your real life. It feels as though I am stuck in the dream world, trying to escape but no matter how hard I try, all the doors are slammed at my face. I cannot do anything more than but to keep trying, keep running to take the next chance possible in hope that maybe, just maybe a door will finally open and a path will finally show me the way. There is hope, this dream is not impossible but it seems like we are fighting against the world to make it our reality. It feels so hard, and it seems as though we are losing. All we can do is keep trying, wishing and praying for a way; a way to beat the odds against this world. We still have hope because we have the will. And where there is a will, there is certainly a way! I know in my heart that I love him so much and that love will show us the way. I feel something that is extraordinary and to feel like how I do is surely rare to find. It is something I have been searching for my whole life. All I ever wanted was someone to love me, look at me as though I am just another normal human being and not classify me as some alienated creature of any type. And even though I have never met him in reality, I know he loves me. And let alone the belief in my heart says alot itself. All I want now is to be with him, to hold in my arms and tell him how much he means to me, how much I have longed to be close to him, how much I dreamed of being with him, how much I truely want to show him that I love him. There is nothing more in this world that I ask for than to be with him because he is the world to me!