I want to be a pilot because one day this fat old bear came up to me and said, "Thou shalt be a pilot."
I said, "Say WHAT?"
Baloo answered, "Fear not, for I shall learn you all I know. You must become the next Ace of the Skies, as I know my days are numbered and my only dream is for my student to take my place at the top."
I answered, "I thought you promised to teach your navigator, Kit Cloudkicker, to fly."
Baloo sighed and said, "I wanted that boy to get a solid background in aviation. But much to my dismay he decided that he wanted to be a concert pianist. This worries me to no end, as I am afraid that one day he may fall off his bench and hit his head. Music is a dangerous hobby, you know. Why couldn't he stick with a sensible pastime like cloudsurfing?"
I decided to take him to Louie's bar to cheer him up. When we got there, I discovered that Louie had sold the place and joined Punchaholics Anonymous. I left Baloo in his misery and set off to find Rebecca Cunningham.
Rebecca had moved out of her apartment into a large mansion. I asked Molly how the heck her mother could afford this. She told me Rebecca had married Shere Khan and now they were incredibly rich.
I asked Rebecca if I could have money for flying lessons. Rebecca said she didn't owe her former pilot anything. "He was fat, ugly, rude, obnoxious, lazy, uncultured, low-class, boorish and slobbish, among many other negative things. Shere, on the other hand, really knows how to treat a lady."
I asked Mr. Khan for money as well, but he claimed to have none to spare. This from a guy whose office building looks like the C.N. Tower, and whose house would resemble Buckingham Palace, except that the palace is smaller.
Molly slipped me two hundred dollars of her petty change and then suggested I leave before Rebecca Khan called in the elite pilot force. "They get to work an awful lot faster than Baloo did," she warned.
I thought maybe Wildcat could build me a plane so I could fulfill Baloo's last wish. After Higher for Hire and Khan Industries merged, Wildcat got a job at the Cape Suzette Insane Asylum as a janitor. Unfortunately Wildcat's behavior reminded the doctors of their patients on bad days, so they decided to "treat" his condition. When I got to Wildcat, he was flying as high as a kite and was in no condition to build anything for a long long time.
Desperate, I turned to Don Karnage to see if he could teach me. I arrived at Pirate Island to find Mad Dog in charge. "The Captain failed to return from one of his many high dives from his plane into the sea," he informed me. Dumptruck volunteered to teach me. However, I knew the pirates' flying skill level. Their odds on landing safely instead of crashing were 100 to one...against. I declined the offer.
By now I had decided that flying was just too much trouble. All of a sudden I noticed that the Thembrian Air Force was attacking Cape Suzette. Colonel Spigot was planning to overthrow "those capitalist swine" in power. Sergeant Dunder warned him that a war wasn't a very nice thing to start. Spigot didn't listen.
I know Cape Suzette is facing a dire threat because it didn't join NATO. I want to help my friends there to fight off the High Marshal's air force. But first I need a pilot's license. And if you don't pick me for glider camp don't blame me when Colonel Spigot shows up at your house.
