One day the TaleSpin Writer made a big mistake. He said, ³After we finish filming the alligator scene for your next show here in Florida, you guys can all go to the Magic Kingdom.²
³Forget that idea,² said Colonel Spigot. ³I am going to London, Canada, where it is nithe and cold.²
³Thatıs the way we like it,² explained Sergeant Dunder.
So the Thembrians left for colder weather. ³No accountinı for the taste of idiots,² said Baloo.
Shere Khan didnıt go either. He went to the Disney office building in stead. ³I want to find out why everyone comes to this sand dune to leave their money in Disneyıs great big bank,² he explained. ³Then when we get back to Cape Suzette, I can try the same thing with MY banks.²
So that left the Higher for Hire crew and the Air Pirates. ³Say, where ARE the Air Pirates?² asked Kit.
³Thatıs strange,² remarked Louie, ³they were here a minute ago.²
³Good riddance,² sniffed Rebecca.
³Letıs go,² begged Molly. ³We donıt have to wait for those nasty old pirates.² And they didnıt.
What the crew didnıt know (but should have guessed) was that rotten Don Karnage was up to no good again. He was really mad because those stupid Disney people put his handsome glorious self in less than a third of the series episodes. ³They will pay really bad for this malignous insult!²cried the Don. ³I will steal Cinderellaıs crown. THAT ought to teach those naughty-bad producers! To get it back they will have to give me zillions of pennies and other valuable monopoly monies. Then I will sell my pirate business and begin to lead a normal-type life, yes-no?
(At this point, Russet Baroness comes back to her abandoned notebook, sees her fatherıs handwriting, and starts screaming. She quickly scribbles...
³No, that is not what I said!² yelled Donny. ³I am a pirate! Pirate pirate PIRATE! And I want my own T.V. show. I will call it ³The Glorious Magnificent Dashing Adventures of the Glorious Magnificent Dashing Pirate, Don Karnage!² I wish I had my Iron Vulture but that no good Red Baroness blew it up on her Nintendo playing the TaleSpin game. Not to mention the damage she caused to my Tri-Wing Terror! I will have to do this the hard way. To your planes, men! We are going to the Magic Kingdom!²
Meanwhile, the crew was having a grand time. Wildcat went on Big Thunder Mountain ten times to make sure he saw all the neat mining equipment. Then he heard Space Mountain had broken down, so he grabbed his monkey wrench and a large wad of gum. The crew knew Wildcat was happiest when he was fixing things. ³I think I will tune up everything from roller coasters to what makes toilets flush in the menıs room,² he said.
Molly and Rebecca liked Fantasyland the best. Rebecca took twelve rides on the carousel, saying it made her feel like a little girl again. Molly thought Disney World should build a Danger Woman ride.
Kit and Baloo both thought that Dreamflight was the best ride. ³I bet I could fly a big jet plane,² bragged Baloo. He left the ride and caught a monorail. Kit flew behind the monorail on his airfoil. What a ride!
They ended up at Epcot Center. ³Oooh,² Baloo moaned, ³all this future stuff makes my head hurt. 1999 is seventy years ahead of my time as it is.²
³Letıs go back to Dreamflight,² Kit suggested, and they did.
Don Karnage was at Cinderellaıs castle, but he could not find his goofy crew. ³Where is my goofy crew?² he demanded.
Yep, you guessed it. They were at Pirates of the Caribbean. They had been through so many times that they knew the ³yo-ho² song by heart. Mad Dog persuaded Donny to ride it too.
Don Karnage figured this had to be the best ride going. He hoped all the kids he saw would grow up to be pirates. However, he looked nervously out of the boat and decided he didnıt like the looks of all that wa...that wat...that wa...w...wate...you know, the ³w² word.
³Letıs do it again!² begged Dumptruck.
³First we steal the crown,² Donny snapped.
Luckily, Louie had just gotten off the Jungle Cruise, right where the pirates were talking. ³Iıd better warn the guys...like NOW!² he said.
Baloo suggested that they call Park Security. Security guards ran to the castle and caught that lousy no-good pirate in the act. Donny told his crew never to argue with people armed with full Super Soakers. He had had enough of being wet.
³There ought to be some severe punishment for this,² grumbled Rebecca.
³And I have just the thing,² snickered Kit as he whispered in the security guardıs ear.
While the pirates were going through the formalities of being arrested, the Higher for Hire crew toured Mickeyıs Starland. ³Hey, look!² cried Molly, as she pointed to the Disney Afternoon stage show. ³Thatıs US up there!²
³Wow, weıre famous!² grinned Wildcat, signing an autograph.
After the show was over, Baloo warned, ³We need to get to Frontierland to watch Donnyıs punishment.²
Mad Dog, Gibber, Dumptruck and the rest of the pirate gang were horrified. Disney had CALLED THEIR MOMMIES!!!
³No!² they begged, ³anything but that!² The guards didnıt listen. They told the piratesı families what bad children they had raised. All the pirates would be sent home, where their mommies would deal with them.
But Donny got the worst punishment of all. They took him to the top of a ride and sat him down on a toboggan. ³You have the honour of testing our newest ride,² said the park manager. ³Itıs called SPLASH MOUNTAIN.²
³Splash....Mountain?² Donny repeated weakly.
But before he could protest, the manager shoved the sled and Don Karnage slid down the five-storey mountain to land with a big Donny splash in a humungous pool of WATER.
³His tail wonıt dry out for weeks!² Baloo laughed.
And they all lived happily ever after...except Donny, of course.
THE END
³Baloo! Kit! I swear you are going to die really bad for THIS one...as soon as I dry off...² D.K.
My Favorite Web Sites
