Governor's Philosophies of
Life
Hello! I'm the Governor. These are my
philosophies for life. I may add more as it
suits me. So sit back and have yourself a
good time and enjoy some of my thoughts of
life. {streach} It mustn't be hurried, unless
it is {Yawn}
fitting for the situation....{walk in a
cirlce 3 times
and plop down}
Cherrs
Governor
Current Philosophies
- When sleeping on the bed or couch, be
sure to choose your area carefully...i.e. the
very middle is prime choice.
- Determine quickly which guests
hate cats. Sit on that lap during the
evening. He won't dare push you off, and will
even call you "nice kitty". If you can
arrange to have cat food on your breathe so
much the better.
- Avoid walking on the floor as much as
possible. Walk across furniture, tables,
jumping from one to another and if people are
sitting there, remember this is your domain,
just walk across their laps.
- This is the same for your daily road
races through the house. All furniture is
your domain.
- Always accompany guests to the bathroom,
it isn't necessary for you to do anything.
Just sit there and stare.
- Go running at top speed through the
house, for no reason -never mind what gets
knocked over in the process. Stop dead in
your tracks, then slowly saunter back through
the room. This confuses your humans. {Maybe
this is why they call me
"Thundarbutt"}
- Do not allow doors closed in any room. To
get one open, stand on hind legs and hammer
with forepaws. Once the door is opened for
you, it is not necessary to use it. You can
change your mind. When you have ordered an
outside door opened, stand half in and out,
thinking about several things. This is most
important when it is very cold or hot
weather.
- When it comes to food, one day a special
food or treat is delicious, the next day
sniff at it then turn and walk away--with a
insulted look. Expect to have another can
opened. Or just sit by your dish and stare
at them.
- Have your own special eccentrities, I
personally am the puzzel spuatter. I can
sleep for hours, but when I hear my humans
working on the puzzel so neatly laid out on
the table....I JUMP UP and go into ACTION!
Plopping myself smack in the middle of the
puzzel, being sure to allow that back paw to
slide over the finished area, dislodging and
knocking pieces on the floor. When the
puzzel is almost finished be sure to be
laying on those last 2 or 3 pieces.
- For sitting on laps or rubbing against
trouser legs, select colors that contrast
your own.
- If you have an upset stomache, get into a
chair quickly. If you can't manage this, get
to an Oriental rug, or anything of value
laying around.
- Get enough sleep during the daytime so
that you are fresh for playing at night
between 2 and 4 a.m.
- If one person is busy and the other is
idle, sit with the busy one. For book
readers, get in close under the chin, unless
you can lie across the book itself. For
people doing paperwork, sit on the paper
being
worked on. After being moved for the second
time, push anything movable off the table,
pens, pencils, stamps-one at a time.
- For guests who say "I love kitties," Be
ready with aloof disdain, claws applied to
the stockings or a quick nip on the ankles.
- Remember above all, YOU own the house,
yard, etc., you are "allowing" your humans to
reside with you. And when getting what you
want, anything "obnoxious" will always get
what you want!
Last update September 5, 1999