Sometimes I feel like destruction. I work on a simple thought, just one, and all of a sudden my life is following another path that was created from things I killed for no apparent reason, things that I just could not hold onto. And I know that much about myself, it hasn't changed in a long time. I can't hold tight, I have no strength.
And now I see myself kind of floating around, not particularly having anything so intense that I just feel , and although I am the one who destroyed that, I know I cannot live in this world without.
I cannot be numb. I worry when I'm numb. I wish I didn't do things I regret, things I just know I can't keep alive anymore, no matter my love for them. And I wonder what is the driving force behind it. The best answer I have come up with so far, is simply just madness...

I'm just not exactly sure how normal that is.