Jack Schitt is the only son of O. Schitt and his wife, Aw Schitt. Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married Aw who later ran the Knee Deep Inn. The Schitts lived beside a creek that wound through their property, which was named Schitt Creek.
Not much is known about O. Schitt's parents, except that they lived further up Schitt Creek, beside the fertilizer plant. To get to the old home place, you have to go by boat using a pole for propulsion, because there is no paddle. O's dad, Dam Schitt, was married to a fine lady named Luck, who was nicknamed Lucky.
Therefore, O. Schitt became the first Schitt outta Luck. Jack Schitt married his high school sweetheart, Noe and they had five children. Sadly, their first child, Holy, passed on shortly after birth. Next came two sons, Deep and Dip. Later came their daughters, Giva and Fulla. When Deep Schitt grew up, he married an had a son Dumb (a high school drop-out).
Deep's brother, Dip Schitt and Dip's wife, Lotta, gave birth to a son whom they named Chicken. Fulla Schitt married one of the Happens boys, and chose to hyphenate her last name, thus the Schitt-Happens side of the family. Giva Schitt never married, but has three sons, Dawg, Byrd, and Bull Schitt. Bull Schitt married a spicy number named Pisa, and Bull and Pisa Schitt are now awaiting the birth of their first child, Little Schitt! And that is the family tree.
Now when someone tells you, "You don't know Jack Schitt", you can say, "Not only do I know Jack Schitt, but I know the whole damn family!"