David Letterman's Top Ten Lists Involving Hanson

When watching "Late Night w/ David Letterman" we always used to notice every now and then that Hanson would be mentioned in his famous "Top Ten Lists". Well now we've compiled them all together for your viewing on this page. Have fun, and a laugh or two! If you have any questions, comments, or any other "Top Ten Lists" mentioning Hanson that we don't have listed, E-mail us! Thanks & Enjoy!~K&M

"Top Ten Things Overheard at the MTV Music Video Awards"

10.Five minutes till show time -- we'd better thaw out Keith Richards

9.I don't care what you're formerly known as -- just park my damn car

8.Oh my God -- Coolio's hair just strangled an usher!

7.Radiohead couldn't make it. Here to accept on his behalf is his brother, Toaster-Oven-Head

6.I just saw Nine Inch Nails in the dressing room. It's more like Four Inch Nails

5.I thought the Chemical Brothers were Christian Slater and Robert Downey Jr.

4.Jakob Dylan? Any relation to Matt Dillon?

3.You little girls aren't allowed backstage, oh, sorry, Hanson

1.And the award for Puffiest New Artist goes to...Puff Daddy!

Top Ten Things Overheard At The Grammys

10.You're looking especially puffy today, Mr. Daddy.

9.I need a limo and some jumper cables to start Keith Richards' heart.

8.Bitchin' stage dive, Mayor Giuliani.

7.If these awards are so important, why are they broadcast on CBS?

6.Bjork, meet Dave Letterman--the Djork.

5.Uh-oh, Marilyn Manson's melting under the stage lights.

4.The president canceled when he found out the Rockettes wouldn't be here.

3.The guys from Hanson just asked me to buy them some beer.

2.Hey, the Spice Girls sneaked in dressed as caterers!..Oh, they are the caterers.

1.LeAnn Rimes, Busta Rhymes. Busta Rhymes, LeAnn Rimes.

Rejected Slogans for the Rolling Stones' Tour
10.Honky-Tonk Women and Grumpy Old Men

9.We Live Through the Concert or Your Money Back

8.Come See What Hanson Will Look Like in the Year 2097

7.Hurry Before Keith Richards Lapses Into a Coma

6.Half-Price Off If You're Mick Jagger's Illegitimate Child

5.And You Thought Aerosmith Was Old

4.Hearts Full of Song and Teeth in a Glass

3.It's Like Metamucil For Your Ears

2.Where Else Can You See Bob Dole in a Mosh Pit?

1.Under 45 Not Admitted Without a Parent

Top Ten Rejected Grammy Categories

10.Best soundtrack for a Pamela Lee sex tape

9.Puffiest Daddy

8.Hanson brother most likely to rob a convenience store by age 25

7.Most thoroughly trashed dressing room

6.Best album to listen to when you're really, really baked

5.Sweatiest member of the Three Tenors

4.Best recording by a so-called friend of a former White House intern

3.Spice Girl most likely to get pushed in front of a subway train

2.Most successful blood transfusion for a former member of the Rolling Stones

1.Most overhyped piece of crap

Top Ten Signs Your New College Roommate is Nuts

10.Walks around campus wearing nothing but a spiral notebook

9.He orders Big Macs with extra condoms

8.Whenever you put up a college pennant, he takes it down and eats it

7.Keeps reminiscing about the time he was married to Larry King for a semester

6.His personal web site: www.killmyroommate.com

5.He keeps cutting the eyes out of your Hanson poster

4.Claims to be majoring in something called "gettin' some"

3.His GPA's lower than his blood alcohol level

2.He says he wants to sleep on top, but you don't have bunk beds

1.Has his S.A.T. scores tattooed on his forehead

Top Ten Other ways CBS can spend 4 billion dollars

10.Keyrings made from the Rolling Stones' old hipbones.

9.Gift basket of food combed from ZZ Top's beards.

8.Tito Jackson's cologne, "Forever Tito."

7.Variety pack of guitar picks coughed up by Jimi Hendrix.

6.Combination Michael Jackon/Diana Ross doll.

5.CD from short-lived band "Crosby, Stills, Nash and Philbin."

4.New desk calendar: "The 365 Weirdest Things Elvis Ever Ate."

3.Coupon good for one shoe shine from a former New Kid on the Block.

2.Ben and Jerry's new flavor "Chuck Berry."

1.The Hanson Fake I.D. Kit.

Top Ten Ways to Change Tennis

10.No more silly trophies -- winner gets to sleep with loser's wife

9.Ball boys: those adorable Hanson kids

8.Every single player must legally change name to "Bjorn"

7.Make it more like baseball, the most thrill-packed sport known to man

6.Players must compete after night spent bar hopping with Jennifer Capriati

5.If game gets dull, John McEnroe comes out and curses up a storm

4.For God's sake, just let the players pick up the ball and throw it

3.TV commentators must match Monica Seles grunt for grunt

2.Before match, players must eat a heaping helping of tainted beef

1.More 'splosions

Top Ten Favorite Games of Cal Ripkin Junior's Career

10.Game 87

9.Game where he drilled Steinbrenner in the thorax with a foul ball

8.Game number 666, because streak would not have been possible without help of his dark lord, Satan (Comment from us: WAH!!!!!)

7.All-Star Game '88 -- unforgettable half hour whirlpool with Steve Sax (Comment from us: EEWW!)

6.Any game where Hanson sang the national anthem

5.Milwaukee '96: played entire game with open gunshot wound

4.1985's "Duran Duran Night" when the great Simon Lebon signed his bat

3.He cannot recall one game in particular at the present time (number 3 is brought to you by President William Jefferson Clinton)

2.June 8th, 1984 -- you should've seen the smokin' chick in the first row

1.The game when he finally got to sit his tired ass down

Top Ten Things That Will Get You Kicked Out of the Miss Teen USA Pageant

10.Use interview portion to plug your phone-sex line

9.Your "evening gown" is made from aluminum foil and duct tape

8.Get caught stuffing swimsuit with Stridex Medicated Pads

7.Your sash reads "crazed loner"

6.Refuse private interview in hotel room of judge Bill Clinton

5.Your talent: making a really bitchin' fake ID

4.When asked your goal in life, you answer, "To become the next Mrs. Larry King"

3.Confess you're actually one of the brothers from Hanson

2.When other contestants talk about ending world hunger, you yell, "What a load of crap" (comment from us: LoL!)

1.You're packin' heat

Top Ten Ways the Tobacco Industry is Marketing to Teens

10.Old name: Marlboros. New name: Bitchin' Marlboros.

9.Replaced Joe Camel with those dreamy boys from Hanson.

8.New Surgeon General's warning: "Whatever, dude."

7.Every pack now comes with a fully loaded Trans Am.

6.Introduction of new Spice Girl -- Phlegmy Spice.

5.Digitally inserted smokes into the Pamela and Tommy Lee sex tape.

4.Flooded schools with new textbook: "Our Greatest Smoking Presidents."

3.Now sponsoring youth singing group, the Nic-O-Teens.

2.New slogan: "Hey kids, it's safer than crack."

1.Their "Guns for Smokes" program.


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