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Contestant #1 - Leo Zwalf | |
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Hair colour: Brown Eye colour: Brown Wearing: Farming overalls Looks like: Jeremy Clarkson Comments: She probably really likes cats, but nothing illegal, just an affectionate thing. I would think that she bakes a lot of bread, but no cakes. There may even be some kind of music thing going on, maybe something along the lines of Bruce Springsteen. or maybe that's just me. |
| Elizabeth doesn't look like Jeremy Clarkson very much, although they both have rather mad hair. Jeremy is very tall and can often be seen behind the wheel of an expensive fast car, but there's no evidence for the same to be said for Elizabeth. | |
Contestant #2 - Bob Severn | |
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Hair colour: Grey Eye colour: Brown Wearing: A nice floral dress Looks like: The Queen Mother Comments: She is the cause of BSE. She is not too thin, nor too fat, but she likes her pudding. |
| Again, not a very accurate prediction. The Queen Mother was much older and more wrinkly than our beautiful Elizabeth. The Queen Mother was always seen wearing an elegant hat, whereas none of the photographs we have of Elizabeth depict her with one. | |
Contestant #3 - Andrew | |
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Hair colour: White Wearing: Pink shellsuit Looks like: Fred Elliot from Coronation Street |
| Andrew didn't give us much to go on, and what he did, I say, I say, turned out very wrong indeed, I say. Very wrong indeed, I say! Bad luck, Andrew. | |
Contestant #4 - Chris | |
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Hair colour: Brown Eye colour: Green Wearing: Cheddar cheese Looks like: Sandi Toksvig Comments: She is the long lost sister of Uri Spoonbender, hence her psychic powers, and sends mouldy cheddar cheese in the post to celebrities she doesn't like. | |
| Nice try, Chris. Although you gain marks for suggesting green eyes - Elizabeth's are blue, but green is closer than brown - you forgot that Sandi Toksvig is a celebrated lesbian, but as far as we know Elizabeth prefers boys. | |
Contestant #5 - Mark Hollington | |
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Hair colour: Brown Eye colour: Brown Wearing: Nice flannel twin set Looks like: Mrs Merton Comments: She has a penchant for collecting cheeses of the world, and spends many afternoon dressing up as James Whale and arguing with her pussy. | |
| A very strange combination - Mrs Merton dressed up as James Whale, especially considering Mrs Merton is infact Caroline Aherne dressed up as an old lady. Mark is the second contestant to suggest Elizabeth is involved with cats in some way. | |
Contestant #6 - Neil | |
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Hair colour: Brown Eye colour: Brown Wearing: An empty potato sack Looks like: Mo Mowlam Comments: I think she probably smells like fish, and probably has a yeast infection. She may well have semen in her hair, and a parsnip behind one or more of her ears. |
| Honestly, Neil, we're ashamed of you! As we can see from Elizabeth's pictures she is completely devoid of misplaced vegetables. I can vouch that the photographs did not smell of fish, but you will have to decide for yourselves whether this picture displays a resemblence to the hair-gel experience from "There's something about Mary". | |
Contestant #7 - Chris Cotton | |
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Hair colour: Brown Eye colour: Brown Wearing: A nice floral dress Looks like: Ruby Wax |
| Elizabeth certainly shares Ruby's razmatazz personality - there's never a quiet moment with one of of them around! | |
Were they right?