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            Top Ten things that sound Dirty in golf, but aren't:

                      10. Nuts...my shaft is bent.
                      9. After 18 holes I can barely walk.
                      8. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker.
                      7. Look at the size of his putter!
                      6. Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more.
                      5. Mind if I join your threesome?
                      4. Stand with your back turned and drop it.
                      3. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip.
                      2. Nice stroke, but your follow through has a lot to be desired.
                  And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty in golf but isn't:
                      1. Hold up ..... I need to wash my balls first.

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Top Ten Things That Sound Dirty In Law But Aren't:

                       
10. Have you looked through her briefs?
                          9. He is one hard judge!
                          8. Counselor, let's do it in chambers.
                          7. Her attorney withdrew at the last minute.
                          6. Is it a penal offense?
                          5. Better leave the handcuffs on.
                          4. For $200 an hour, she better be good!
                          3. Can you get him to drop his suit?
                          2. The judge gave her the stiffest one he could.
                      And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty in law but isn't:
                          1. Think you can get me off?

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Top Ten Things That Sound Dirty At The Office But Aren't:

                          10. I need to whip it out by 5.
                            9. Mind if I use your laptop?
                            8. Just stick it in my box.
                          7. If I have to lick one more, I'll gag!
                          6. I want it on my desk, NOW!!!
                          5. HMMMMMMMMM......I think it's out of fluid!
                            4. My equipment is so old, it takes forever to finish.
                            3. It's an entry-level position.
                            2. When do you think you'll be getting off today?
                    And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty at the office but isn't:
                            1. It's not fair...I do all the work while he just sits there!!!!!