Michael nearly crashed into the door, his running at top speed had made it relatively difficult to stop so suddenly. Breathless and sweaty, he rang the doorbell in succession several times, waiting a second before craning his neck to see inside the front hall. Finally, the outside light flicked on as Emily peered through the side window, her expression going from curiosity to surprise as she quickly unlocked the door, barely having time to open it before Michael had stumbled inside.
"Michael, what's going on?!" Emily asked, a little louder than she intended, causing Lucky to hurry into the front hall also. Ignoring the question momentarily, Michael stumbled past them and thumped onto the couch, trying to catch his breath for a moment. Wordlessly, Emily and Lucky exchanged a knowing look and Lucky headed down the hallway to the kitchen while Emily leaned against the living room doorway, patiently waiting for Michael to calm down.
After a moment, Michael's breathing slowed down, descending back into its normal pattern. He turned to Emily, giving her a weary smile and she entered the room, taking a seat next to him.
"It's pretty late and you look pretty upset, what's up?"
Michael shrugged, "everything really," he said as he leaned back in the couch, wishing that he could just curl up and die right there. He'd never intended for the evening to go as it had gone but he cursed himself for not presuming that when you drop a bomb on the Quartermaines, things rarely go as planned. His reunion with his father had gone hardly like the ones he'd watched on TV, full of loving and tearful reunions that tugged at your heartstrings. Now, Michael silently vowed to write a bitter letter to the producers of the TV movie, but that would be later. Now, he had to deal with now.
Lucky entered the room and Emily gave him a worried glance as Michael stared at nothing in particular, his face carrying a blank expression.
"Michael?"
Michael snapped his head up slightly glancing from Emily to Lucky then back to Emily before deciding to talk.
"I'm not who you think I am. I'm not even who I thought I was."
Emily's eyes widened slightly and Lucky gave her a quizzical look. Both ingested the statement before Emily took a step.
"Tell us what's wrong," she said, trying not to sound too anxious. Michael, finding his mouth completely dry, rose from the couch.
"Let me get something to drink first okay?" Michael disappeared behind the kitchen door and Emily hurried to Lucky's side.
"What the hell is going on with him?" Lucky frowned and Emily shook her head, "I don't know but it must have something to do with Jason and Carly."
Lucky agreed, "well, they should be here soon enough, they sounded pretty anxious over the phone, we'll get this sorted out."
************************************
Wyndemere
Before releasing her hand, Dade inhaled her perfume that lingered around her slim wrist and without thinking, stood up, his body just inches from her and slid his arms around her waist, pulling her close, breathing her in. Although her mind was screaming for her to stop and push away, Alexis allowed herself to be wrapped in Dade's strong arms, she was too busy getting lost in his dark eyes to notice her nagging conscience.
Finally Dade pulled back slightly and looked at her seriously. "Why did you leave?" he asked quietly.
Alexis's eyes pained as the thousands of reasons she had told herself to convince herself that she was right, that it was the best thing to do for both of them but now, years later, her reasons had become weak excuses at best. Pulling from Dade, she turned and walked a few feet from him.
"It-it wasn't safe and I couldn't risk losing--" she started before Dade cut her off.
"No Alexis, don't lie to me," he said firmly as he strode up behind her, taking her shoulders and swiveling her around to face him, "you may be able to lie to your own brother, but you were never able to lie to me, I know you better than you think."
Alexis's mouth opened with fury, seething that he dared treat her so poorly, as though twenty years hadn't changed either of them. Shaking his arms off her she crossed them instead, "fine! You want to know the truth?"
Without pause Dade nodded and Alexis smirked, nodding vigorously with him sarcastically, "I was being selfish and self-centered that's why!"
Storming off near the window seat, she stood rigid, furious that after all these years apart, in one look or gesture, Dade had the power to bring her to her knees. Dade frowned, clearly puzzled.
"I'm not following you."
Alexis laughed bitterly, "gee Dade, take a look around you, at my family. We are the Cassadines! I am a bastard daughter of Mikkos Cassadine and therefore my life is worthless. I am alive only because of the woman who murdered my Mother."
Alexis's voice quivered at the mention of Helena's crime and Dade approached it cautiously, "why does that make you selfish and self-centered?"
"Because, when I was growing up, Helena practically bashed in my head daily, reminding me of how lucky I was to be alive, how gracious I should be and to never expect anything more than what I already had from her. I was a sickening reminder to her of everything she didn't have from Mikkos. His loyalty to their marriage, his honor to her and most importantly, his love. She didn't return any of those things to him either but it really grated at her that he didn't automatically give up all of these treasures to her the day they were married."
Turning back to Dade, Alexis continued softly, "you see, despite who my Father was, I know that he loved my Mother from the moment he saw her. That offended Helena deeply, it outraged her that a common peasant outranked her, a person of great royalty, in his life. Helena was possessive and jealous and wouldn't have any of it and so, one night, she found my Mother and slashed her throat. I was both a prize and a disease to her. A reminder to Mikkos of what she was capable of and everything that she hated about him."
Her eyes rose to meet his, they were hollow and riddled with deep pain and Dade could not help but cast his eyes downward after a moment.
"Growing up, Stefan did his best to protect me but eventually it became futile, I believed what she told me and I feared her because of it. For most of my life, I have cowered behind Stefan's steel wall of protection and have tried to lead a relatively normal life. Schooling, a career I love, independence. I was just missing one thing to complete it."
Dade slowly began to understand, "love, you wanted to fall in love."
Alexis chuckled shyly, "it sounds silly, a grown woman fantasizing about a knight in shining armor whisking me away."
"Not to me," Dade said softly, taking a step towards her.
"When I met you, my fears just seemed to melt away and I got lost in you and I loved getting lost in you," Alexis implored. "It was bliss and I wished it would have never ended, until one day, a cold slithering hand jerked me back into line."
Alexis sat in the window seat, her relaxed face becoming tight once again, "I received a file, late one evening. In it was your entire life plus a photograph of you and several more of us. A note was scrawled at the top of one of the photos. It said 'don't you dare'."
"Don't you dare?"
Alexis nodded, "It was Helena informing me that she knew what was happening in my life and that she didn't like it. It was a threat, I had found love, real and true love, something she never had. Her late husband's bastard daughter had dared find companionship? It was something she could destroy and would if she had the chance. She would have killed you Dade, just to remind me of who I was in this family. So I left and never looked back, praying each day that she would believe that we had separated and I no longer cared for you, making your death worthless. It worked and I promised myself to never go through that again."
"Your husband? What about him?"
Alexis sighed, "Giorgio was kind, gentle and very powerful. He protected me from Helena."
Dade swallowed, "did you love him?" he asked painfully.
"I tried so hard at first, I knew he loved me and would do whatever I asked of him. He was a good friend and he gave me Dominic, my son. I loved him, yes, but not the way I loved you."
"So why didn't Helena kill Giorgio?"
"Because she already knew, she knew I did not love Giorgio that way and so she knew that in some ways, I was unhappy. She believed that I had aligned myself with him solely for what he could do for me rather than love. She equated it to her own unhappy life with Mikkos. It made her happy."
Alexis grimaced slightly, "so you see, I was selfish. I didn't want the memory of your death on my conscience. I thought I was being selfish by giving myself more than what I was allowed in life. I thought only of the great pain and anguish it would cause me and so instead of fighting, I turned and ran as far as my legs would carry me. I was a coward."
Dade shook his head vigorously, "no no, you weren't Alexis, please don't believe that," he said earnestly as he rushed to her, bending down on one knee, taking both of her hands in his, "you sacrificed your happiness for my life, how does that make you selfish?"
"I sacrificed OUR happiness for a witch who'd controlled my life but in all honesty, never really had any power over me, I let her terrify me, come into my hopes and dreams. In a strange way, sometimes I felt safe knowing that as long as I was in my shell, within her boundaries, she would never take a real interest in me."
With that final statement came the tears, fast and furious. Stefan had always known Alexis's deep and intense rage for Helena but she had never spoke of it in so many words. How could she cower under the woman who had murdered her own Mother? A wave of deep shame ran through her as Dade stood and enveloped her in a comforting embrace. Alexis welcomed it fully, her sobs growing as Dade stroked her hair, attempting to soothe her.
For Dade, these past few minutes had opened a world of understanding and realization. Alexis had always been secretive about her past and had never discussed her family, save for Stefan, and after a few prods, he gave up, obviously her past had not been very good to her. It was only now that Dade began to fully realize just how sour it had really been. A living nightmare in every way possible.
Dade kissed the top of Alexis's head as she pulled away, her face covered with tears, "oh God Dade, we can't do this, I have to leave," she stammered as she attempted to detangle herself from Dade.
"No, not again, I'm not letting this happen again," Dade said fiercely as he gripped her forearm tightly. Alexis stopped, turning her head back to face Dade's.
"What are you talking about Dade?" Alexis's voice rang with fear.
"I won't let you fight her alone, we can't let her keep doing this Alexis."
"I love you Alexis, I can't walk away from that when I have the power to fight for it."
Alexis's eyes began to fill with tears again, then a flash of rage ran through her. How could she not stay and fight for this? This was her battle, and for her entire life, she had fled from it, from the memory of her own Mother, how did she ever let Helena grip her like that? Alexis set her jaw firmly, "you're right, I can't walk away from this again. I owe it to myself, to you," her voice darkened, "to my Mother."
Taking Dade's hand, her voice became clear and strong.
"I guess this is where I draw the line in the sand."
**************************************
Spencer Home
"You did what?" Michael's voice shook with disbelief.
"Your parents need to know about this Michael, they sounded very worried over the phone," Lucky started.
"They are NOT my parents!" Michael screamed with rage, his fists clenched. Emily's face went from confusion to horror, something was very, very wrong here.
"Spill it," she ordered. She could have been tender and cautious but she was tired and worried, cutting through the fluff was her motive.
"Jason is not my Father, A.J. Quartermaine is," Michael recited, the effect the statement had been to him mere hours ago had quickly worn off.
"What?" Lucky asked with disbelief.
"They lied, to you, to me, A.J., everyone including themselves. I only found out a couple of days ago myself."
"Why?" Emily whispered and as if on cue, the doorbell rang.
Lucky turned and went into the front hall, returning with Jason and Carly. The room itself was thick with tension. Emily was still shook by the revelation and said nothing. Lucky carried a stony expression, angry but uncertain of what to do. In the instant they had entered the room, Jason and Carly both knew that Emily and Lucky knew.
Jason spoke first. "Why don't we all sit down?"
Before anyone could comply, there was a brisk knock at the door. Lucky again, left to answer the door. Michael refused to meet Jason and Carly's pleading eyes, finding the grey carpeting far more enticing.
"Oh my God," Emily said and everyone slowly turned to face A.J. Quartermaine, standing in the family room doorway, his eyes ablaze although he said nothing and instinctively, everyone knew that this evening would be forever engraved in their memories. Each had to expect the unexpected.