Everybody Loves Julio

It started with Miguel Tejada.

As soon as he arrived with the Orioles, he wanted to make a big impression. "I want to come here and be someone that the team and the city can be proud of! I want to be your next Ripken... I want to be Jorge Julio!"

As it turned out, this was not just idle locker room chat. Miguel tried to be Julio right down to being Julio's number 50! Well, that didn't sit too well with Rafael Palmeiro, future hall of famer. "How come he gets Julio's number? I can't have Julio's number if I want it?"

It only got worse from there. Sidney Ponson claimed Julio's number, as did new free agent catcher Javy Lopez. Meanwhile, Melvin Mora was also laying claim to the number! "These new guys come in and think they can take Julio's number? I've been here longer than them! If anyone deserves Julio's number, it's me!

The number 50 sure looks sharp on an O's uni.

Jorge Julio, ever the peace maker, tried to come up with an equitable solution. "You know, I can understand people wanting to share Julio's number... but what about Jorge? I needed to keep my number, so I had to get creative..."

After hours of godlike thinking, Julio had an idea. Not only would it end the dissent, but it would bring the team closer together!

Immediately he went to commissioner Bud Selig for approval. Bud was hesitant at first, but relented once he remembered that he was a giant idiot. "Who was he to say no to God?" said Jorge after the meetings.

Miguel feels the spirit of Jorge.

And so it was approved that each and every Oriole would bear the number 50 on their sleeve in honor of Jorge Julio's number. This was the perfect solution, as each player would still have their own individual number, but with each bearing a little piece of Jorge. More than once the team has overcome some difficulties, and many believe it's due to the Julio influence that the patches have provided.

"Baseball is a lot of mind over matter," said manager Lee Mazzilli. "If the players think they have the power of Julio, then even Keith Osik can hit like Babe Ruth!"

"Well, maybe not Keith Osik..."

As the season transpires, we'll be sure to keep you updated on the Year of the Julio! (Which will surely culminate in a World Series victory. Go O's.)

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