Cloning Experiment Update!!

The Cloning Project is now 99% complete. These here are more rejects that did not replicate the Ripken we were looking for. So as we come closer to the end, we still know that there will be more mistakes. So if and when they happen, we will post them.

 

 

Tupac Shacal		Mickcal Mouse		Dark Ripken
Descriz-iption: Yo, so check dis out b. Next dis fly mofo goin by Tupac Shakal be all rollin up in our piece, dig? Brotha hops in, drops some phat rhymes and dope beats, then be all like "Yo bitch, I be out." Status:  Werd.		Description: Now relatively certain that we had the capabilities to make Cal physically perfect, it was up to us to recreate his winning personality. Unfortunately for us, this experiment was tainted by the presence of a small rodent. By combining a tiny mouse and massive merchandising potential, this was the result we achieved. Though undeniably cute, this version was far too short to play ball, and was remarkably un-funny. Status: After entertaining ourselves for hours by forcing him to run around on one of those little wheels, Mickcal Mouse escaped. Our last reports indicate that he's opened some sort of over-priced theme park, and started a company dedicated to making cutesy cartoons and taking over the world. Be afraid, be very afraid.		Description: After several failed experiments we were at an impasse. Unsure of what to do next we were struck by inspiration after watching the Fox series "Dark Angel." Our experiment was wildly successful, and the resulting clone could play a mean shortstop, and was also ridiculously hot. The only problem is... that it's not Cal. Ah well, back to the drawing board. Status:  Umm... we don't know... All we know is that she is most definitely not locked up in our basement... What? That's all. Go away. You can't have her, she's OURS DAMN IT!!! OURS!!!!

Mopkin		Calborg 9000
Description: Less an experiment and more of a happy accident, Mopkin was a surprise to Julio and the rest of the crew, but mostly to the janitorial staff. After cleaning up most of the failed experiments, the various and assorted goo on the mop created some sort of life form. While lacking hands has made him unfit to play baseball, his trim figure has brought in several offers from modeling agencies all over the world. Status:  Still retains his occupation as the lab's premier mop. I only wish he wouldn't scream when we dump his head in the bucket...		Description: Finally we had done it! A perfect clone of Cal Ripken all ready to start the 2002 baseball season. Dreadfully, Sumocal returned. Upset at being tricked away, and hungrier than Rosanne Barr, he came back, trashed our lab, and ate half of the perfect Ripken clone. After the dust settled and Sumo Cal rumbled off, our perfect Cal clone was in bad shape. Now unable to recreate the process, and in great danger of losing our clone, we turned to cybernetics to create Calborg 9000. Now always babbling something about us being "assimilated." Status: Calborg 9000 has taken full control over the cloning experiments, so we really don't know what he's doing in there as we no longer have access to the labs. No further updates pending.

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