She sits upright in her chair, legs crossed. Her hands tightly clutch a copy of the book,"Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul." Near the lapel of her jacket she wears a red MADD ribbon. The words come out painfully. "Yeah I'm mad," she said, "People around here need to realize it's their actions that are ruining this community."

It was a cold January night. Jason's mom drove him home from work. He was getting his clothes together to sleep at his friend Jeremy's house. It was just a few houses down from Jason's home on Conowingo Road. The two walked together along that road almost every night. They were more than half-way to Jeremy's house when a 1998 Ford Mustang came over a hill in the road. The Mustang swerved off the road, sideswiped a telephone pole and struck another telephone pole, cutting it in half. Jeremy had time to move out of the way. Jason did not.The car hit him. Jason died almost instantly.Jackie doesn't use the word "died" when speaking about her brother. Instead she says, "He passed away." "That word is vulgar," she said. "It bothers me."

Jackie's bedroom is next to Jason's. She only recently started sleeping her room. She has been spending most nights sleeping on the couch down stairs. She barely makes it through a night without waking. Sometimes it's once, sometimes it's twice."I haven't slept more than four hours since this happened," she said. "I hear things upstairs at night." She tries not to walk past Jason's room. ..'

It still smells like him. "It's really hard," she said, and took another deep breath. "The whole room smelled like cigarette smoke. We used to call him 'Red' as a nickname and his friends also called him 'Red' because he smoked Marlboro Reds." At Jason's funeral, his friends placed a cigarette and pack of 'Big Red' gum in his casket to honor his nickname. Jackie put a Christmas ornament, a Bible and a small bean bag praying bunny in her brother's casket. "He was really special, "she said, "That's why God took 'him."

A small smile crosses her face as a memory of her brother crosses her mind. "I bought him this scooter for Christmas. And the "wheels lit up. But he didn't know this until he started riding around the living room,"she said. "He called my name and said, "You haven't seen anything yet," and then he pointed to the lights. "He was so happy because the wheels lit up."

It's the small things Jackie remembers."He was such a bashful person," she said. "He came home one day and gave me a big hug out of nowhere, and his face got all red. He normally wouldn't do that." For a moment, her mouth softened,,her eyes lit up and her shoulders relaxed. She looked comfortable. But almost instantly the comfort was gone. Her body stiffened again. The pain regained control. "I'm more shocked and angry at this than anything else," she said. "It tore my whole family apart. "She looked down at the book she held tightly in her hands. Her knuckles were white. Her voice softened almost to a whisper. "But it also brought us closer together."

It was a late spring day - May 29, 2000. Susan and Beau were on their way to Chi Chi's restaurant in Christiana, Del. They were on Route 273 near Fair Hill. Beau was driving his grandmother's Honda CRV. Susan was in the passenger seat.

"We were listening to a Bloodhound Gang song and making fun of it," said the Conowingo resident. "I glanced up because Beau screamed 'No,' and the car jerked back really hard. When I glanced up, I saw a car right in front of us. In the split second that Beau had, he in he jerked the wheel enough so the impact was taken on the front left side." His move put him in danger but probably saved Susan's life.

The Honda flipped three times length-wise and landed upside down in a ditch. "I was awake the entire time," she said. She paused a moment in the story, readjusted her glasses and wiped the tears from the corner of her eyes.

Both she and Beau were trapped in the Honda. "I called Beau's name a couple of times. I asked him if he was OK, He told me he was fine," she said, adding that he said he couldn't reach the brakes. "So I told him I loved him, and he said he loved me, too."

That was the last time she spoke to Beau. After taking off her seat belt, Susan kicked open the passenger door and climbed out of the Honda. "As soon as I got out of the car, a woman grabbed me and wrapped a blanket around me. She said the police were already called. I could hear Beau in the car saying he couldn't feel his legs, that he didn't know what was holding them," she said, her voice shaking. "And he was upset." She pulled another tissue from the box.

Susan was flown to the University of Maryland Shock Trauma Center in Baltimore. On a stretcher next to her in the helicopter was the man accused of driving drunk and killing her boyfriend. She wouldn't find out for hours, but Beau died on the way to Christiana Hospital in Stanton, Del. "I just wanted to call him to see if he was OK...," she said. She didn't find out Beau was dead until she was released from Shock Trauma. "That's when my dad sat down and told me," she said. "I was in shock. I just kind of sat there. I couldn't do anything but sit there."Susan spent the next few days calling Beau's friends and helping his parents with the funeral arrangements. "I didn't have to help, but I knew him really well," she said. "His parents loved having me there. His mom always called me her future daughter-in-law.

"Beau's mother told everyone not to dress up because Beau would not have dressed up. And we were not to get up there and start crying. We were supposed to get up and tell funny stories about what he did." The funeral was at R.T. Foard Funeral Home in Rising Sun. Cars lined the street. Susan's father and grandmother had to park down the road because it was so crowded.

"Beau had this charisma about him," Susan said. "You either loved him or hated him. "Most people loved him." She paused for a moment in her story. She had been staring at the crumpled tissue in her left hand. "I miss him," she said finally looking up from the tissue.

Beau was a "gamer," someone who spends most of his time playing video games. He and Susan planned on going to a technical college in Florida to study game design and computer animation. "I couldn't force myself to go without him," Susan said. She is still enrolled and hopes to go this fall to study computer animation.

For the first two months after Beau's death, Susan slept at his house. She spent her days on the Internet, chatting with other grieving people and looking up Web sites that dealt with drunken driving. "It was too much (to handle)," Susan said. "I had to keep myself busy."

Elzey spends most of his days in courtrooms, sitting in on drunken driving trials and keeping the families of the victims updated on the cases. Gregory K. Riley, 24, of 335 Conowingo Road was indicted Tuesday, 12 days after the accident that killed Jason. He was indicted on vehicular manslaughter and lesser included charges. He was being held at the Cecil County Detention Center on a $25,000 bond.

Vincent Strype Jr., 39, of Dingmans Ferry, Pa., was indicted in December, seven months after the crash that killed Beau. He was charged with vehicular manslaughter, homicide while intoxicated, DWI, reckless driving, negligent driving and lesser included charges. He still awaits trial.

"I don't know why it was so quick (in Jason's case). Normally it takes months," Elzey said. Elzey speaks to Susan weekly. He keeps her updated with the status of the court case. "She wants justice served," Elzey said. "After the indictment, she felt somewhat better." He also speaks regularly with Jason's mother, Hilde Carter. "Hilde is doing the right thing by reaching out," Elzey said. "She hasn't gone into a shell over all of this. (MADD) is trying to help her throughstep-by-step."

For Jackie and Susan, telling their story is one ofthe steps. Both are exhausted. Susan holds a box of tissues. Her eyes are red. Jackie is still clutching her book. "I know what she's going through," Susan said as she looked at Jackie, "and I know what she will be going through. It's only going to get harder."

Both want to start a support group in Rising Sun to help people who have lost loved ones to drunken drivers. Jackie hopes to sponsor an alcohol-free after prom party at Rising Sun High School. "I want people to think before they drink and drive,"

"I went to a birthday party
but I remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink at all,
so I had a Sprite instead.
I felt proud of myself,
the way you said I would,
that I didn't choose to drink and drive,
though some friends said I should...
...I'm sure the guy had no idea,
while he was flying high,
because he chose to drink and drive
that I would have to die...
Someone should have taught him
that it's wrong to drink and drive.
Maybe if his mom and dad had,
I'd still be alive...

She read the last few lines pausing every now and then to take a deep breath. She closed the book and took another deep, deliberate breath. "If Jason's death has changed one person's life, then he was taken from us for a reason.