Tissue

The thoughts in her head tumbled over one another; through each other; around each other, confusing her more and more by each strangling minute. The gas pedal was decreasing distance with the floor of the automobile as the trees by each pane of glass whizzed by faster and faster and the lights became nothing but a streaming neon sign with no breaks in between to define each hazy glow.

She gripped the steering wheel, knowing that for the first time, she was controlling her own life. Neither anybody nor anything else was holding her in their hands to puppet. She was free. Smiling almost insanely, the tears streamed down her cheeks, each drop falling faster and faster out of her eye until they all blurred into a beautiful river of salty memories that stung fresh wounds.

Her vacant house loomed before her within minutes and with her tires screeching and heart pounding out an amazing rhythm, she cut the engine and hopped out easily. Behind her, another car pulled into the street but she paid no attention. Tonight, she would free herself. At last, she would be without constraints.

There was nothing wrong with her to see, to report. There was nothing wrong with her life. There was nothing wrong with her family. There were little mistakes, little glitches that go unnoticed; reason all experience it. But each mistake had somehow grown larger, had somehow grown sharper against her bleeding heart. She felt retching at her actions, at even her own thoughts that she dared to think. She felt as if she were inside looking out-side looking in. No where did she belong.

The echo of the door slamming against the metal frame reverberated throughout the silent and oh-so-perfect and oh-so-normal community. Her own footsteps pounded out the beat of her own life; the one she controlled, the one that had never existed before. How she loved the feeling of holding her own fate in her hands. . .

Her confusing thoughts came to an abrupt stop as headlights from behind blinded her and tires screeched. Turning around, furious at the one to once again snatch her life choices out of her hand and into theirs, she saw nothing but brightness for a split second before a roaring engine quieted and a door opened. Out hopped a man, a stranger she had never seen in her life.

Her eyes turned a dangerous glare. She was in no mood for games. “Excuse me miss,” he said softly and quickly before she could walk away. “You looked like you needed this,” he continued quietly, and in his extended hand, he held out a tissue.

A silent sob escaped from her lips and she looked into his eyes. “Who are you?” she whispered, her voice cracking with every syllable that it managed to croak out.

He smiled cheekily. “Just a guy with a tissue that he didn’t need. I thought you might have better use for it; I saw you crying.” Taking a step towards her, he picked up her limp hand and gave her the soft object. “Take care now miss.”

Turning around, he hopped easily into his car and with a loud roar of the revitalized engine, he took off.

“Thank you,” she whispered, gripping the tissue in her hands, watching as her angel drove away. “Thank you.”

With her gift in one hand, she got back into her car and drove away, deciding her fate would change once more.

The next day, everything went as before; but not her. She had changed. One person out there in the world cared enough about her tears to hand her a tissue. That was enough to keep her in the world. She never saw the man again.

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