Mood:  not sure

Don’t yell at me for not being around. I have been in Wilmington since Sunday. What an extremely long couple of days and if I have to look at another spreadsheet I swear on everything holy that I am going to go postal.

Okay I am sure some of you are wondering about the title of the post. No I am not getting married. At least I don’t think anytime soon. Lennie and I have just now started to talk about him moving in. But that is a whole other entry. The major life change has to do with my job.

Last Friday my boss called me into his office. He stated that he has noticed lately how miserable I have become. When I signed up for the job it was suppose to be 60% admin and 40% ranger. Now it is 90% admin and 10% ranger…if I am lucky. This is not something I want to do for the rest of my life. I HATE sitting at a computer and would much prefer to be in the field. Not to mention that I am not getting paid for the work I am doing. Especially not now that I have to budget to do. I actually broke down in tears because the last few months or so I have been very unhappy. I love Raleigh, I love the park, and I love the staff but I hate what this job has become and this is not what I signed up for.

Yesterday Tom showed up at the district office and caught me after my meeting. He told me he needed a copy of my transcripts. At first I thought he needed my notes from the meeting but clarified that he needed my college transcripts to prove that I am eligible to work as a 401 Natural Resource Specialist. Fancy name for a park ranger/biologist. I must have looked really confused so he told me the following story.

We have an opening at Falls. Well actually not so much an opening. They are taking our co-op student position and making it permanent. It will be a 5/7/9 position which would be a promotion for me (I am currently a 7). I would be doing what I love. I would be out in the project more and not stuck behind a computer. There is also more opportunity for me to advance. But there are some negatives as well. The position is what they call an Intern (FCIP). Part of that program is that I would have to sign a mobility agreement for 2 years. This means they could up and move me whenever and wherever that wanted to. My boss said that was highly unlikely. That would be just in the event of a major disaster and they needed bodies. The second issue is that fact that I would lose my status for 2 years. I would be losing any benefits but lets say next year they didn’t have the budget to keep my job I could be jobless. I don’t think my boss would let them put me out on the street but it is scary not to have that security. But once my two years is up and I will have my status back and I would be safe and I would be a 9 which was one of my goals. The other bad thing is…if I leave this position they will not fill it with another admin ranger. It would be just clerical. Tom is terrified with what he might get as far and applicants but that I shouldn’t worry about that. He wants me to be happy and he wants to put me in the place that he thinks I have the best opportunity to advance.

I spent time talking to my boss and his boss and the people from personnel and they all stated they thought this would be a good move and that they see me advancing way up in the organization with all the knowledge I have. They said they don’t foresee anything bad happening to me in the future and that I shouldn’t be worried.

So tonight I have a lot of things to think about and some things to discuss with Lennie. I am excited and nervous all at the same time. I know I can do the NRS job but I have work so hard to get this place in shape I dread handing it over to someone who will just mess it up. BIG BIG BIG Decision. This could change the rest of my life. *bites nails