Choices

Sydney opened the bathroom door and wrapped her bathrobe tightly around her wet body. The steam from her recent shower spilled into the bedroom and heated the air. She sat in front of her mirror and began combing her hair. She looked at Drew’s reflection in her mirror. He was lying on the bed reading the business section of the newspaper. Just the sight of him disgusted her now, mainly because she felt torn between him and AJ.

“Did you enjoy what we did tonight?” She asked, in a general questioning tone.

“Of course I did.”

“Well I’m glad one of us did.” She added, again in a general tone. No emotion whatsoever. Drew put his newspaper down and stared at her crossly.

“What do you mean? Is something wrong with you?” He asked. Sydney rolled her eyes and sighed. She was tired of hiding her feelings from Drew just to keep a stable marriage.

“No, nothing is wrong with me. This isn’t the first time we’ve had sex and I’ve felt nothing. Every time we have sex it feels like nothing to me. And it’s because you don’t give a damn about pleasing me. You’re only doing it for your own selfish satisfaction, and I’m tired of it.” Drew jumped out of bed and approached Sydney, who was still sitting, but filing her nails now.

“Where the hell is this coming from? What is wrong with you?” He shouted.

“I’m your wife. But you treat me like your accessory. If I were to leave you right now, you’d just go out and find another young single woman who you can marry just to make yourself look good. You don’t need me. You don’t even love me. And I don’t love you, so what are we doing here? Where can this marriage possibly go, Drew?” Drew was taken aback by her sudden rash words.

“I cannot believe that you are saying all of this shit after all this time! I come home early to be with you, we spend a wonderful night together, and now you’re bitching and moaning about the most ridiculous things!” Sydney wasn’t exactly sure of how to tell him how she felt. She thought it’s be best to just start by proving to him that there marriage was empty and meant nothing to neither of them.

“I want to go back to the States. I want to go back to my restaurant and I want to work again. I want to live a normal life. I want a nice house, not too big. And it would have a beautiful back yard with the greenest grass. I want a baby. Lots of babies. I want to be a mother. I want a family. A real family. And most of all I want a marriage filled with love. What we have is just a cover. I married you because I was confused and hurt and felt like I had nothing or no one else. And you... you only married me to keep your mother off of your back and to have a guaranteed lay every night. You can’t deny that.” Drew scoffed at her accusations, but said nothing.

“I’m right and you know it. You don’t love me. You never have. And I don’t love you, Drew. There’s no sense in hiding this anymore. I’m sure that there is someone out there for you. But I am not that someone. Just admit it!”

“No! You are my wife, and this conversation is over. I married you. I chose you! You have everything you could ever want. And what you don’t have, I can give you. So stop all of your complaining! We are through talking!” With the end of his last word, Sydney got up and went to the closet. She began yanking any and every shirt and pair of jeans she had, tossing the clothes to the bed. Once she had all that she wanted from the closet, she went into the drawers and in the bathroom--- gathering anything she considered a necessity and tossing it on the bed as well. When she finished, she stormed off to the kitchen and got a trash bag, not bothering to look for Drew’s suitcases.

Drew tried to follow her around and reason with her, but she would neither acknowledge him nor listen to him. He was like a ghost to her. She stuffed all of her belongings into the trash bag and quickly called for a cab to come and pick her up as soon as possible. Because of where they lived, it wouldn’t take long for the cab to arrive. Once she made her call, she hastily threw some clothes on, as well as shoes, and marched out of the apartment and into the hallway. Drew, now in his robe, continued to follow her. But she continued to ignore him. She went right down to the lobby, and sure enough, a cab was sitting in the front waiting for her to get in.

She threw her large trash bag into the backseat then climbed in beside it. The cab driver was just about to close the back door when Drew stopped him and held it open.

“Sydney, get out of there right now! You’re making a scene!”

“Get the fuck off of the door!” She screamed back at him.

“What will our friends think? What will Mother think?” He wined.

“They’re not my friends. They’re yours. My friends are back in the States, and I’ll be too very soon. As for your mother... she can go to hell for all I care. Right now, I need to be with someone who loves me.” She yanked the door closed and the driver pulled off, leaving Drew standing on the sidewalk, dumbfounded.

~*~*~*~*~*~


AJ was sitting on the side of his bed flipping through the television channels when he heard a quick knock on the door. At first he thought it was just the maid.

“Not right now.” He called out, but his visitor only knocked again. AJ finally pulled himself up from the bed and went to the door. The second he laid eyes on Sydney, he knew all that had gone on. She was sloppily dressed, her hair was damp, and her eyes were blotchy and puffy from crying in the cab. He pulled her into his room, closed the door, and then held her close. He felt her break down into tears, and it only made him hold her tighter. He had an overwhelming desire to take care of her and protect her from anything that could hurt her. And he wished that he could have gone back in time and told her that he loved her before he let her slip away and into the grimy hands of Andrew.

He felt as though everything was his fault. They’d have been married and living a picture perfect life had he just admitted his love for her. But he didn’t. And there they were. She had just left a marriage for him, and she felt awful about having gotten married in the first place. She began to cry, and AJ felt her tears drop onto his arm, one after the other.

“Ok, ok... no crying. Here, look at me.” He tilted her chin up and wiped her tears away with his thumb.

“I love you so much.” She whispered. AJ then kissed her lips gently while leading her over to his bed. She laid back, allowing him to hover over her body. He unbuttoned her shirt and opened it ever so slowly, exposing her bare breasts. He touched her skin, and his heart began to race just as it did any other time he touched her. She felt sacred to him. She was the most precious thing in his life. He relished in the fact that not only was her body his, but so was her heart and her mind. He loved her. He loved everything about her. He needed her more than anyone or anything. And his biggest intention was to make sure that she never forgot that after tonight.

~*~*~*~*~*~


Sydney felt a soft sensation on her right shoulder. She opened her eyes, and just as she registered the fact that it was now morning, she looked over her shoulder to find out the source of the light touch that had awaken her. It was AJ’s soft lips, gently kissing the skin of her shoulder. She smiled, realizing then that he was half asleep, kissing her subconsciously.

“Baby?” She said softly. AJ’s eyebrows lifted, but his eyes remained closed.

“Honey, wake up.” She said to him. Again, he signaled to her that he was aware of her words by smiling, but he still kept his eyes closed.

“I am awake.” She groaned, his voice low and scratchy as if her were intentionally impersonating someone who had gone hoarse.

Sydney turned back onto her left side, allowing AJ to scoot even closer to her. His body shaping to the curves of hers, forming a spooning position which she had never experienced with Drew, and which she missed terribly with AJ. She felt his warm breath cascading down on her neck, and the thin hair of his arms and legs tickled her as it intertwined the almost invisible hair of her arms and legs.

The masculine cuts of the muscles in his chest pressed against the supple skin of her back. His hips pressed firmly against her fleshy backside. And the tips of his toes lightly caressed the heels of her feet. Altogether, they were sharing one of the highest levels of intimacy without much effort at all. And both of them relished in it.

“When we get back to the states, I’m going to lock us both up in my bedroom. And we won’t leave until we’ve completely made up for lost time.” AJ whispered into his beloved’s ear.

“Is that so?” Sydney responded, matter-of-factly.

“Yes, that’s very much so. And after we’re through, I’m going to go out and buy you the most beautiful engagement ring there is on the face of God’s green earth.” Once his golden worlds slipped into Sydney’s ear, she turned to face him. Staring into his eyes for a moment. Then she spoke.

“AJ, you mean that?” She cooed.

“Yes. Every word. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, waking up to your angelic face. Holding you this way. When you left, I felt empty for so very long. No matter who I dated, or who shared my bed, no one made me feel one-tenth the way you do. You’ve always been by my side. You were with me at the high points in my life, and when I’ve hit rock bottom. And I want to be there for you now. I want to be your man, for always, and treat you right. I love you, Sydney.” A single tear fell from Sydney’s eye and AJ leaned in to kiss her deeply.

“And do you know what I’ll do after we’re married?”

“What?”

“I’m gonna lock you back up in my bedroom. And we’re going to make love until, well, until we get a little something started in there.” He poked at her stomach and flashed her a grin. Sydney’s eyes lit up and welled with tears.

“A baby?” Were the words she mouthed to him. AJ confirmed her assumption with a small kiss on the tip of her nose. There was a moment of silence. Sydney closed her eyes to picture herself as AJ’s wife, and how beautiful it would be. She pictured herself carrying their child. And deep down she knew that AJ would be as good a father as he was a friend and a lover. AJ then took the opportunity to caress her by removing the sheets from on top of her body and running his hands over her curves.

“I’m so happy that you chose me, Syd. I’m gonna make it worth your sacrifice, I promise you that. I’m going to be the man that you deserve.” He whispered to her, gazing up into her still watering eyes, and continuing to explore her naked form with his gentle fingertips.

She reached down and cradled his face with her palms, then she brought him up toward her so that they became eye-to-eye with each other. She need not say a single word, AJ knew what she wanted. He only shifted over on the bed closer to her, and he was already met with an open embrace. And as she and AJ became one, she held him close and there wasn’t a shadow of a doubt in her mind that he was the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.



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