Epilogue: He Loves Me

[As told by Monica in the present tense.]

I’m in school yet again. College is different. But I like it. I get along ok. But it takes major adjustment, as does any new venture in life. I’m still with my AJ, and Xander is all over the place. He’s the spitting image of AJ. I just hope he doesn’t grow up to be a lady-killer like his father. Lord knows he doesn’t need that kind of drama in his life.

My only complaint is that I’m the new girl once again. AJ was “Mr. Bachelor” for a whole year while I was nursing the baby. But now that we’re in school together, the ladies who chased after him see me as some sort of threat. I’m no threat... because there is NO competition. When I see them look at me funny or whisper things as I walk by, I laugh on the inside. Because I know, no matter how much prettier they are than me, that AJ would never betray his heart. He loves me too much. And I’m not bragging or boasting. I’m just stating what’s true. Alex loves me. Even when we fuss and fight, he apologizes before I even get a chance to because he loves me. He cooks for me and massages every muscle in my body when I’m tired and achy. He loves me.

We have financial issues. We can’t afford nice things. All of our money goes toward Xander, his diapers, his clothes, his shoes, his toys, and everything else that baby’s need. We just moved into an apartment. And it sucks. But Xander’s room is adorable. And AJ made sure that it was freshly painted and well furnished before we really moved in, because he loves his son. And he wants the best for him.

The rest of the apartment is full of all our old stuff. AJ’s bed and EVERYTHING else from Orlando is here. Denise had it shipped. It’s nice to have his stuff here. Reminds me of how we met. I lost my virginity in that bed. Good times. Daddy got us a washer/dryer and he even got us a car. I don’t know how we’ll ever pay him back. But we will. When school is over and we’re both working full time, we’ll pay him back.

Our rent isn’t too bad. AJ’s cool with the guy who owns the apartment building. I don’t know how they met or why they’re friends, but they are. And he agreed to cut us some slack on the rent as long as we always pay it on time and keep Xander quiet. But Xander’s a quite baby anyhow. The place is nice. We’re close to Daddy and the neighborhood is a good one. I wouldn’t mind Xander growing up here. Although, I’m hoping that when times are better we can move to a house. I mean, I want more kids. When the money is right and we’re both able to be good parents to more than one child, I definitely want to get pregnant again. But, for now, we’re being cautious. I’m getting the shot once every three months for contraception, and we always use protection. We won’t make the same mistakes. You know?

We can’t afford to get married yet. But I call AJ my husband. And he calls me his wife. And I say my last name is McLean, although it’s not legally and I can’t sign it or anything. Xander still has my last name, but that will change when AJ and I get married.

He gave me his class ring. It’s nice. I love it. It doesn’t fit on any of my fingers, save for my thumbs. So I wear it on a silver chain around my neck. He never lets me take it off. Sometimes, when we’re just lying in bed, he rolls over and lifts up my shirt just to see if it’s there. However, I think that’s just his way of initiating a little late-night liaison.

Speaking of AJ, he’s just in the living room now. He’s playing music. It’s slow. I know what he wants. See, we had a fight today. Well, it started last night, and it continued on into today. We were fighting over the fact that last weekend, he took off of work to get drunk with his friends for his birthday. Now, I don’t mind him spending time with his friends. But when he takes off of work to do it, and doesn’t tell me, I get a little pissed off. So I told him about himself, and he got mad at me. It’s a guy thing I suppose. I bruised his male ego. But what I said had to be said. Our money is too tight for him to waste it on beer. And our money is too tight for him to take off from work without pay. We need every little bit. And this isn’t the first time he’s done this.

AJ knows he was wrong. And I know he knows because he cooked tonight. And it was actually good. Something Denise taught him to make, no doubt. He fed and bathed Xander without my assistance. Then he put him down to sleep after reading him four stories. He cleaned the kitchen, and the rest of the apartment I might add. And he washed this week’s laundry. Now he’s in the living room, playing his slow R+B, probably wondering when will be a good time to come in here and tell me he’s sorry. He’ll probably have something to feed me. Something sweet. And he’ll want to undress me. And kiss me all over. And tell me how I’m a wonderful wife-to-be, a wonderful mother, and a wonderful friend. He’ll say all this while he’s touching me. Caressing me. Making me feel like royalty.

I’m sure he’ll do all of this because I know my man better than he knows himself. And I know that he knows that doing these things will definitely put a smile on my face. But what he doesn’t know is that he’s already forgiven, and that all of this is unnecessary. But I won’t tell him that. Why should I? What girl in her right mind would deny herself the treatment I am about to receive?

Here he comes now. Cookies-n-Cream ice cream in a bowl. My favorite. He’s sitting down on the bed now. “Try some of this,” he says, as if I don’t already know what it tastes like. He intentionally drops some on my chest. See, I’m wearing a bra and a pair of his boxers. The ice cream, now melting on my chest, is so cold. But the warmth of his tongue on my skin remedies that. He licks it away. Then he kisses me. And I can taste the sweetness still lingering on his soft lips. He tells me he’s sorry. He tells me he won’t do it again. And he won’t. At least not any time soon. Then he tells me how much he loves me.

“I love you too,” I say. And I do. More than anyone will ever know.


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