Surprise, Surprise

The party ended a little after the big fight between Monica, Alicia, and me. It was just a few of us in the house now. Shane, T, myself, and a couple other kids from school. My circle of friends. The few that didn’t dog me for what I did and all that happened.

I wasn’t helping them to clean up. Instead, I was sitting on the porch in front of the house. It was still raining a little bit, but I didn’t give a shit. If I caught a cold, it wouldn’t be a quarter as bad as Monica hating me. And she had every right to hate me. I should have been thinking of her. I should have been waiting outside her door, regardless of what her father said or did to me. But instead I was here, with Alicia. And I didn’t even like Alicia. Sure we used to date, but, well, let me just go ahead and tell you what happened between us.

I started going with Alicia at the beginning of our junior year. She was different back then. She was cute, and sweet, and she reminded me of Alicia Silverstone from that Clueless movie. Funny how they share the same name. Maybe that’s why I made the connection between them. Either way, they looked alike and acted similarly too. And she liked bad boys. So she liked me. And she flirted with me, in her own sweet little way.

Back then, I was hustling drugs for my cousin. Well, he wasn’t really my cousin but I told everyone he was. And I made a lot of money. I told Mom that I got it from working at the garage after school. She knew how good I was with cars, so she bought the story. And with that, everything was cool. I had a stable job, and a shaky job, I made so much money from both, and I had the sexiest girl in the school. I was on top of everything. And I was so happy that I never stopped to realize how shady she was. I never really thought she was only with me for the money, or the recognition.

I mean, she was constantly telling me how much she loved me. And when we had sex, she was always telling me shit in my ear, like how she couldn’t live without me and stuff like that. I know, I sound kinda like a punk for letting a girl get to me. But I gotta be honest, she meant a lot to me. And she swore to me that she’d always be there for me.

As the months went by, things started getting tight, I mean with my drug runs and all. I kinda suspected that the police were on to me. So I gave her all my money, and I told her to keep it safe, just in case something happened and she needed to bail me out. I made her promise she’d keep it safe. I’m just pissed at myself for believing her.

In less than a week, I was busted, right in the middle of a transaction. They took me down to the station, and I called T, knowing her cell phone was always on. She told me she’d get together with Alicia, whom she never liked, and they’d all come down and bail me out.

Well, about an hour later, T and Shane showed up. No Alicia. She had spent most of the money on clothes and on some college guy she had in her house when T and Shane stopped by. I was furious. I trusted her, and she betrayed me.

I had no choice but to tell my mother. Shane and T went to her, and she managed to get the money. But, she had to ask my grandparents for some and my aunt for even more before she got enough. To think, she wouldn’t have had to spend a dime if Alicia had been more true to me.

Being arrested really took its toll on my mother. She was so hurt. I had been lying to her for so long. I kept working at the garage, and after months of long nights and busy weekends, I was able to pay my mom back, my grandparents back, and my aunt. It still didn’t help the fact that my mother saw me differently. But I think, now, she trusts me again. Cause I would never lie to her, I don’t think I could bear seeing her cry over me again.

As for Alicia, we broke up. I was hurt for a while, but I was glad I found out before I really started to love her or something. She still chases after me. I don’t know why. I guess she didn’t know what she had ‘til I was gone. Funny thing is, I knew what I had, and Monica’s still gone.

I was just beginning to feel like I had made the biggest mistake in history when T came rushing outside onto the porch with a clear plastic cup in her hand.

“I was upstairs straightening up, and I found this in Shane’s room. There were two, but the other was Alicia’s cause it had lipstick on it. AJ, if this is yours, what’s in it?” She pushed it in front of my face and I saw that it was my cup. There was only beer in it, I couldn’t quite understand what the big deal was with the beer.

Then I saw it, in the bottom. There were bubbles coming up from some kind of dissolving tablet. I reached in and scraped it up with my hand. There was barely any left. Just a wet paste, still bubbling on my fingers.

“Damn, dog, you’ve been wasted all this time and your ass didn’t even know it?” Shane said, looking at us from the door of his house.

It was clear to me. Now I understood why my head was splitting in two. Now I understood why my hands were still trembling. Now I understood why I felt so nauseated and dizzy. It wasn’t just because the love of my life was on her way to Phoenix, it was because I had been given bad drugs. I knew this feeling. I’d felt this way before. It was bad X. People sold it at raves to make quick cash, and they weren’t even real. They were more for bringing on the symptoms of a 24-hour stomach virus rather than an ecstasy high.

Alicia did this.

And when you speak of the devil, he always shows up. In this case, she showed up. She had been hiding in the bathroom all that time, waiting for everyone to leave to spare herself the embarrassment. She came outside, face still swollen from Monica’s wrath. She came staggering down toward me, probably wanting me to feel sorry for her.

“Listen, AJ, I never meant for this to happen. And I’m sorry that this thing you had with Monica didn’t work out. But hey, some things just aren’t meant to be....”

“Did you put this in my cup, Alicia?” I showed her the paste on my fingers, and she only shook her head in denial. Not even looking at it. That was proof enough. If she didn’t do it, she was at least look to see what it was. But she knew. She knew exactly what it was. One thing I knew for sure was that if someone accuses you of something that you didn’t do, you at least want to know what it is that they think you’ve done.

“You put this shit in my cup and got my head all fucked up on purpose, Alicia! I can’t believe you! Are you seriously that low and bitter and jealous? She was all I had, Alicia! Now I’ve got shit cause of you! She’s gone, I might never see her again! So tell me, are you happy? Are you fucking satisfied?”

I didn’t even give her time to answer. I didn’t need her answer. I didn’t even want to hear anything she had to say. My mother always made it clear to me that I should never put my hands on a girl to harm her. But Alicia had hurt me so badly. And this wasn’t the first time. And I was sure that if I heard one more lie escape her lips that I would bury my fist in her mouth. But that wasn’t my nature. I would never hit a woman, even though she was the lowest and didn’t deserve the title. She didn’t deserve to share the same gender with women like my mother, and T, and Monica. Especially not Monica.

I turned and walked away from the situation. Saving myself from losing my temper, and saving her from feeling my temper lost on her head. My heart was pounding. My eyes burned, but I was too angry to cry. i was too angry to do anything. there I was, in the middle of the fucking street, screwed over royally. And there wasn’t a damn thing I could do to fix it.

I could hear Alicia running after me. Her expensive high heels clicking on the street. I started to walk faster. I started to hope she was get the hint and leave me alone. I didn’t need this right now. I was no one she should be annoying. Not after all that happened. Why couldn’t she be smart? If she were, she’d just go home. But no, she had to be dumb about it. And she just kept following me, calling me name, saying “I’m sorry, baby.” I’m not her baby. I never was. She had no right!

“T, keep her away from me! I can’t be held responsible for what I might do right now, I swear to GOD!!!” I screamed, continuing to walk, and not daring to turn around. Shane’s arm suddenly closed in on me, and he was walking by my side. And this was a huge comfort to me. This was my best friend, through thick and thin. He was always there, as was T. And if anyone was going to help me keep my head cool, it would be Shane.

We walked back down to my house and saw that my mother was sitting on the from steps, her keys dangling from her fingers. She had her hair pulled back in a ponytail, and she looked so exhausted. So tired. So concerned, and worried.

“Hey Ma.” Shane said to her. T and Shane always called her Ma. It was the same with T’s parents and Shane’s parents. We were all family, so it was only natural that we address each other’s parents in that fashion. This was also just about all Shane to Ma. But that was ok. She was accustomed to his general silent behavior. And she could read his expressions just as well as I could.

“Hello, Shane. Thanks for walking Alex home. But do you mind if I talk to my son alone for a while. I’m sure he’ll call you later on, but for now I need him to myself,” Ma said with a soft smile. Shane nodded, patted my back, and then started back down the street.

Ma pulled herself up with the help of my arm. She then brushed the back of her khaki shorts and started up to the house. I followed right behind her, locking the door once we were both in. She went into the bathroom, and then she came back into the living room and pressed a cool, damp cloth against my forehead. I must have been sweating something horrible. Another symptom of the bad X.

“What really happened, Alex?” she asked. And this was just another reason why I loved her so much. She knew me so well. And she knew that I wouldn’t just sleep around on Monica. Because I loved Monica too much. So, instead of lecturing me about bad my mistake was, she asked what really happened. It was amazing that she just knew. She just knew that it hadn’t happened exactly the way Monica probably thought it had.

I told her everything. I just spilled my heart and soul out to my mother, right there on that sofa in our living room. I told her about Alicia, and the spiked beer, and how Monica caught us. I told her about everything Monica said to me. And how hurt she was. And how her pain killed me inside. I could still see that look in her eyes. The look of one whose heart has been broken for the first time. The worst break ever.

Ma held me, she held my head against her chest, and that soothing sound of her heartbeat calmed me. Maybe it had something to do with why babies stop calm down when they hear their mother’s heartbeat. You know, they get all somber and sleepy. Maybe I needed that. Maybe I needed to feel like her little baby boy again. I had put my mother through a lot of shit in my time. And I’ve been walking around like I’m the man of the house for so long. Maybe this is just what it took to clear my head. To feel like a kid again. To feel like just coming to Mom would make everything ok.

“You know, deep down, I bet she still loves you. And she probably knows, deep down, that you wouldn’t just cheat on her like that. Just give her time. Imagine if you had walked in on her and Josh. You know how much Josh likes her. Just think, what if you saw them together and her excuse was that ‘it wasn’t what it looked like.’ Would you be so easily sold by that story? Would you believe her, kiss her, and make up? No, of course not. You’d probably hit Josh in the mouth too. And you’d probably walk out on her. But then, after a little time goes by, you’d want her back, wouldn’t you?” I only nodded.

“Right, so don’t you think that after a while she’ll start to miss you? Really now, Alex, who wouldn’t miss you?” She lifted my head up and nicked me in the chin with her finger. She then kissed me on my forehead. Yeah, my Mom was too great for words.

~*~*~*~*~*~


Weeks went by. All I did was go to school and then come home and sit in my room. Sometimes I sat in silence, staring at the phone, wishing it would right. Praying it would ring. When it did ring, I prayed I’d hear Monica’s angelic voice on the other end. I often pondered what the even would be like. Would she be in her room listening to music when she called. Would I? Would she be at school on her cell phone? Maybe she’d be working or something. There was of way of knowing.

Two months went by, and there was still no call.

I started working at the garage again, fixing cars eased my mind. But there was still no remedy that could match Monica’s forgiveness. That was the sole thing I wanted. The sole thing I needed.

Christmas came and went. I really would love to have spent Christmas with her. Decorating the tree, buying gifts, snuggling up with her. And every Christmas, Ma would take us up north to visit family, so there would be snow. I’m sure Monica loved snow. She looked like the type of person who could throw a good snowball or build a strong fort. I bet she could drive pretty well in the snow too, unlike me. Then again, she’s probably lived in colder states before.

But there I go again, my mind wanders so very often. It’s well past winter now, May had come. And she still hasn’t contacted me. Ma thinks that maybe it’ll be one of those situations where she won’t contact me until we’re both much older. You know, like in our forties or something. Like one of those Lifetime movies. I hate those movies. Why the hell would I be content waiting for her for another twenty-something years? I wanted her now!

I started giving up. It became clear to me that she wasn’t coming back. She would never call. She would never show up on my doorstep. And if we did meet again in our forties, she probably be happily married with children and thankful that she didn’t ruin her life by staying with me. And just my luck, she’ll be married to some jackass named Dan, or Phil, or Ronald, or even worse... Richard. God, I could just imagine. She’d live in some Brady Bunch looking house, and he’d work in an office and insist that she be a homemaker. She’d make dinner for him every night. And not fun dinners, but those goofy suburban dinners like starting the week with meat loaf, then fried chicken, then tuna casserole, then pork chops, then fried fish, then liver and onions, and then a Perdue oven stuffer on Sunday. Yuck. I would tie my mother up in a chair and leave her there if she ever started cooking like that.

But, again, my mind wanders. There’s no real reason why I should be speculating about Monica’s life. It was no longer part of my life anymore. And slowly but surely, I was accepting it.

I started dating again. Not anyone from my school though. She goes to St. Mary’s School for Girls. One of those schools where a girl goes in at like the age of six, and doesn’t graduate until she’s seventeen or eighteen. Her name’s Destiny. I don’t know if that has anything to do with us. I mean, it’s not at all serious. I call her Des anyway. Des... she just wants a guy who can handle her suppressed sexual appetite, and I just want someone period.

We dated for a while. She was cool. We had fun. What more can I say. The last date we had, I took her to see some movie. Honestly, I don’t even remember what movie it was. I spent the majority of those two hours with my head back and my eyes closed. And no, I wasn’t asleep, if you know what I mean. I’m a man! And I don’t make any excuses for it. Besides, she liked doing that kind of thing. She liked doing stuff that pushed the envelope. And hell, that wasn’t the first time she game me head in a movie theater.

After the movie, I drove her back to her place. And she invited me in, as always. Her parents were never home for some reason. Maybe that was why she was so rebellious. Anyway, I went in with her, and she’d take me on back to the pool. It wasn’t huge, but it was nice. It was in the shape of a lima bean. She stripped for me. Then she stripped me down. And she had this fetish with putting condoms on with her mouth. Don’t ask me why. It wasn’t all that necessary that she do so much with her mouth. I could have put the condom on my own damn self, but she insisted. So what was I supposed to say? No?

She also liked those Trojan: Her Pleasure condoms. Fuck that, I was enough pleasure for her. But, again, it was whatever she wanted.

As she was putting me inside her, I thought about how empty I felt. Seriously. After you’ve had sex filled with love and passion, normal sex just doesn’t do as much for you. She was all into it though. Probably cause I was just another step up toward her sexual revolution. She was writhing all around in the water. Like that one chick with the two different color eyes did in that movie Showgirls. You know what I’m talking about. She was getting all wild and shit in the pool. I mean, any other time I would have been turned on. But, all I was thinking was, “Damn, is it really that serious? Could you calm your goofy ass down?”

When she finally did calm down, she started kissing me and she locked me up against her with her legs. You would think that any guy in my position would be in heaven right now, right? And some part of me was. I mean, not often do you have a girl who’s crazy about you fucking your brains out every night. But, our little relationship still lacked something essential. Something I couldn’t quite describe. Something I’d had before.

Monica.

All of a sudden, I just couldn’t stop thinking about Monica. Her face just wouldn’t come out of my head. And I knew that I had to get out. I had to break free. I couldn’t keep seeing Des if I still felt for Monica. I guess Ma was right. There was no way I was going to get over Monica so easily. And maybe Ma was right about Des too. We just weren’t right for each other. If I ended up with her, we’d probably be one of those couples that can’t stand each other but stay together for the kids.

I apologized to Des for cutting our little fuck fest short. I told her that I promised my Ma that I’d help her paint. I don’t know why I said something dumb like that. But, hey, anything would do. I just needed to get my ass out of there. I had no place there.

Just when I was drying off and pulling my jeans up, I heard her mutter something. I’m pretty sure it was “Mama’s boy.” And that bothered me. Yeah, I loved my mother. I loved her a lot. She was all I ever had. I never had a father to do stuff for my mother, so I had to. How dare she call me that? At least Ma and I had a good relationship. She hated her parents and they hated her equally as much. I bet her mother had her to trap her father. And it was a known fact that both her parents were seeing other people. Hell, I was over her house one night and her mother grabbed my dick thinking I actually wanted to sleep with her old ass. I think otherwise. Her whole family was sad, and she had the nerve to joke about me? Mama’s boy?

“I don’t think I’d go there if I were you,” I advised her. She only rolled her eyes and climbed the stairs to get out of the pool. I must admit, she looked so good naked and wet like that. Ah, but she was just a nice body. She wasn’t all that smart and she was kinda shallow.

“Well you are. You’d rather help your mother paint that finish what you started with me.” With that she cocked her hips to one side and started rubbing her stomach and breasts. So tempting. But so wrong for me. I wasn’t about to go getting all caught up in a relationship with some girl I could never see myself loving. Like I said before, she was cool to hang with. And she was a good lay. But that was about it. We had nothing in common. And when it came to romance, she just annoyed me, plain and simple. She had no romantic sense. Not a romantic bone in her body. Not like Monica did.

Monica used to make me lunch and bring it to the garage. And it wasn’t some cheesy sandwich and chips either. It would be something she made, like spaghetti! I loved her spaghetti. As a matter of fact, she was a genius when it came to Italian food of any kind. Anyway, she would bring me something every Saturday and feed me, cause she hated the thought of me feeding myself right after changing someone’s oil. Even though she wouldn’t allow me to touch a fork, she would welcome my hands around her waist. She didn’t care if she got stains then, I guess cause she just loved being close to me. I miss that about her. She didn’t need much from me, just my affection and love and time.

But I was thinking about Monica again. Why was she haunting me, why now? Why was it that she suddenly hit me like a ton of bricks and I couldn’t focus on anything but her.

Meanwhile, Des was coming toward me and pulling at my arm, begging me not to go. But I knew better. I knew that if I stayed, i would only keep thinking of my sweet Monica, and something was bound to go wrong. I didn’t love Des, just the same, I didn’t want to hurt her. She had feelings too. So I put her feelings first and I came up with a brilliant idea. I knew that her next-door neighbor, some geeky kid named Bobby, had a huge crush on her. I knew he was home, cause he was cutting the grass when we pulled up in front of her house.

I also remembered that Des once said she liked him when she was in the ninth grade, but he was too shy to ask her out. And at that age, she wouldn’t dare initiate conversation with a guy. So, I told her that if she messed around with another guy it would turn me on. And one thing you’ve got to know about Des is anything that she thinks will turn me on, she’ll do. She’s just that weird. I told her that if she messed with Bobby’s head a bit, it would get me really wild the next time we hooked up.

After that, I left. We never went out again. She’s been too tied up in directing Bobby through his own sexual revolution. And that’s cool, I guess. I mean, as long as she doesn’t hurt the kid.

When I got home that night, I decided to just walk down to Shane’s. I could see his car there from my house, and I knew T would probably be with him. Maybe a few of the others. Walking down that street, I started remembering the last night I saw Monica. How upset she was. How upset I was. How I had to walk away from Alicia to avoid losing it.

When I got to Shane’s house, his parents were knocked out on the couch. They reminded me of Roseanne and Dan from that show. His mother was skinny and petite though. But his father, he resembled Dan to a tee. Shane’s folks were cool. I always felt so welcome at their house. I had to, anytime I could just walk in and see them snoring in their house clothes and know that they would be ok with it.

I took it upon myself to go down into the basement where the big screen was. That was where Shane usually chilled. Just my luck, he and T were about to get something started. But it wasn’t the first time I interrupted them.

“Damn, dog! Every damn time!” he exploded, sitting up with a disgusted look on his face. T only grinned, not mad at all, just a little out of sorts. Her light brown skin was blushing a little, and Shane’s was turning completely red. Too funny.

“It’s cool, man, I can come back later,” I said, going back up the stairs. But T stopped me. She hopped over the back of the couch and yanked me back down the stairs.

“I got a letter from Monica today,” she breathed, still out of breath.

“You what?” I asked, not able to believe the words that just escaped her lips. She went over to the end table and pulled out the envelope. She then took out the letter and started to skim through it.

“I can’t read everything, some of its kinda personal. But here, she says...

'I’ve been taking night classes to graduate early. So, I guess you could say that I’m class of 2003, just like all of you guys. I do miss all of you. I miss Orlando period. Phoenix is weird. It’s so dry here. Hardly rains, and when it does, it pours something horrible. Instead of rabbits or squirrels in the yard, all I see are little green lizards. And the spiders are disgusting. But, besides that, it’s not so bad. I’ve made a few friends. Not many though, I’d much rather keep my circle of friends small and personal. Anyway, how’s AJ? I think about him a lot. When I do think about him, I don’t know whether to feel angry or look back with fond memories. It’s been a while, but I’m still healing. And looking at...'

“Well, I can’t read that part... that’s one of those personal things,” T explained. She kept skimming through the letter, looking for someone she could read out loud. I tried to snatch the letter from her, but she only pulled back and I missed. I snatched for it again, and I got it this time. But T punched my arm so hard that I had to let go. I hated when she did that. She did it to Shane too. It hurt like hell.

“Shit, T! Why are you hitting people? Your heavy-handed ass!” I yelled, rubbing my sore arm. She only stuck her tongue out at me. It was blue, probably from the blue Slurpee sitting on the table next to her purse.

“Well, serves you right. This letter is addressed to me! Tamera King! Not you! So don’t you go snatching my personal property!” she countered with a devious smile. She kept scanning, and then started to read again.

“Ah, here we go...

'I’ve enclosed some pictures. I even put in some of Daddy and Linda. She’s been so good for him. It’s nice to have a mother again. And she’s so nice to me. So understanding. Anyway, give Shane a hug and a kiss for me. And the same to Miss Denise. I would ask you to give AJ my love, but I know him. And that will only upset him. So, the next time you hug him, make it extra tight for me. You don’t have to explain to him why.

All my love, Monica'

“Isn’t that sweet?” T asked, folding the letter back up and slipping in into her back pocket. I didn’t bother to answer her. I just moved past her and went for her purse. I managed to get it before she got to me and I got the envelope. Sure enough, I felt pictures inside. T’s face turned from a playful one to a serious.

“Give it back, AJ! It’s not yours!” she screamed, jumping over the sofa and nearly jumping on top of me. But she missed and ended up having to chase me around the room. Once she gave up, I pulled the pictures out of the envelope.

“I swear to God, give them back!” She screamed, chasing me again, but by now, I already had them out. I saw a picture of Monica, and she looked so fat. Had our break-up caused her to put on weight? I didn’t care though. I loved her regardless. And she looked cute with chubby cheeks. I couldn’t really examine her because I was dodging T, but I managed to get to the next picture. Monica was in it, her father, and some other woman. Probably Linda, who I assumed to be his new girlfriend. Good. He needed a woman in his life.

Before I could get to the next picture, Shane snatched the pile out of my hand and T caught up to me, tackling me to the floor. I was laughing too hard to feel the pain of her punches. But I stopped laughing when I saw that one of the pictures had fallen to the floor.

I picked it up, without T or Shane noticing. And I became curious as to what it was. I looked harder, and I realized it was an ultra sound print out. This was someone’s baby. Damn, I thought. Monica’s father must have been working pretty fast to have gotten this Linda person pregnant already! Then I looked up at the corner of the page and read something that nearly stopped my heart.

Patient: MONICA D. MAXWELL

This couldn’t be! No! Hell no! Fuck no! Not my Monica! She couldn’t be pregnant!

T saw that I had found what she didn’t want me to find. And she stopped hitting me. Shane only sat down and covered his face with his hand. Obviously he knew too. I got up from the floor and turned T around, taking the letter from her back pocket. She couldn’t stop me because she knew that there was no sense in hiding it now.

I read through the entire letter twice, and I found out that she said that looking at her stomach every day only makes her think of the love we shared. That’s why T had stopped reading. If she had read that, I would have known automatically.

Monica was pregnant with my baby.

This was exactly what I didn’t want to happen. I should have never made love to her unprotected! How could I make such a mistake!?!? Now she was in a totally different state with my kid and I wouldn’t be there! She was planning on taking care of this baby without even telling me! That’s why she had to take night classes to graduate early. If she didn’t, she’d miss out on her senior year.

“We were gonna tell you. Just not right away, you know?” T tried to explain. I know they meant well. But I still needed to be alone. I took the pictures from Shane, and the letter, and I left to go home.

As I walked, I kept staring at the picture of Monica. No wonder she looked so plump. Her cheeks were all rosy, and her hair was longer. It was still bleached though. She looked amazing. And she looked happy. Her big belly and all. I felt awful that I couldn’t be there to hold her. There were probably a hundred times when those hormones started kicking in and she got all depressed for no reason. And times like those, I should have been there. God, what she must think! She’s sitting there, due any minute, and she still thinks I cheated on her.

My walk turned into a run. I had to get home. I didn’t know how to handle any of this. But I did know that locking myself in my room to think things over would ease my mind.

My plans were ruined when I found that my mother was waiting for me. She was sitting at the kitchen table, her head in her hands. And she was crying. She was balling her eyes out. When she saw me come in, she quickly dried her eyes and pasted on a fake smile. But I saw right through it. She had the mail spread out on the table. And something told me that Monica had written her a letter as well.

Ma stood up and hugged me. She began crying again, her tears soaking through my shirt. I didn’t know whether they were tears of shock, or sadness, or what? She just looked so very sad. It was killing me inside. Not only was the love of my life pregnant with my child. But now my mother was devastated by the news, and I couldn’t help but feel like it was all my fault.

Ma suddenly pulled away and looked up at me. She saw that I had the pictures of Monica in my hand, and the letter. So she knew that I knew. She smoothed her hair back, and then wiped her nose with some tissues she had in her hand. After sniffing a few times, she put her hands on her hips and plainly stated:

“Well... we’re just going to have to figure out a way to get you to Phoenix, huh?”


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