Episode Four: A long country road stretches in front of the camera. The sun is high in the sky…birds are sitting on a long telephone wire…flowers are blossoming along the shoulder. Faintly in the background, Blink 182’s song “Dammit” is playing. The camera turns, and a red car is barely visible. As the car approaches, the song grows louder. It is apparent now that the car is a classic convertible; a man is behind the wheel, a young female at his side. The guy is singing along, obviously happy that this song is on the radio. The girl, however, seems less pleased. Halfway through the guitar solo, she leans forward and changes the station. *NSYNC’s “Bye, Bye, Bye” begins to play—not much of the song has been missed. The girl automatically perks up and lip-sings along with the boy-band’s catchy lyrics. She throws in some impromptu choreography and hand motions, a big grin on her face the whole time. The driver of the car, meanwhile, is obviously pissed off. Meet Allison Wendkin and Bryce Cumino. Allison is the most popular girl in Dominica High School; Bryce is her boyfriend by default. See, after Allison had dated her way through all of Dominica High’s football team and basketball team, there was a severe of lack of popular-enough people for her to date. So, almost reluctantly, Allison searched out Bryce. He was rich, cute, and although he didn’t play any sports, he was the lead male in several of the high school’s drama productions. One might be thinking about now, What’s in it for him? At first, Bryce was drawn to Allison ’s pretty looks and quirky sense of humour. After he realized how shallow she was, however, he wanted out. Unfortunately for him, Allison ’s father is a Fortune 500 businessman who just happens to have close ties to the family Cumino. So, thanks to some parental pushing, Bryce stayed with Allison . The two have been going out for two years and will probably end up being prom king and queen at their senior prom next year. The *NSYNC song has finally ended and another Blink 182 song comes on. Before the lead singer Mark can even belt out one note, Allison has changed the station, much to her boyfriend’s chagrin. Bryce takes out a pair of sunglasses, puts them on, and concentrates on the road. A cell phone starts ringing, and Allison leaves the radio alone for a minute to answer it. She picks up, and the screen is split in half to show a very distraught Cathleen talking on the phone. Allison: “Hello?” During Cathleen’s rant, Allison has been half-listening, still searching for the perfect song on the radio. Once she senses that Cathleen has finished, she leaves the radio and switches into “concerned friend” mode. Allison: “Oh, God, Cathleen, that is so horrible! Are you okay? I would be mortified!” Allison rolls her eyes and turns away from Bryce. Allison: (whispering slightly) “So did I, but Bryce thought that a picnic dinner and a swim in some dirty, cold lake would be more romantic. Like he cares! Everyone knows that he doesn’t want to go out with me…” Both blow air kisses into their respective phones and hang up. The screen reverts back to a view of just Bryce and Allison. Bryce: “Leave it alone. This is my favourite song. This is my car. At some point, I’d like to listen to at least one song that I enjoy.” Bryce smiles grimly and turns his attentions to the radio. Another Green Day song had been playing during the course of their argument, and now it was coming to a close. Radio Announcer: “Well, that wraps up our three-block of Green Day on WKRP’s Block Party Weekend. WKRP—the best mix of popular music in Dominica and the surrounding counties. Next up, a super-chunk of everyone’s fave boy-band, *NSYNC! Be the ninth caller and win tickets to their upcoming show this Saturday. That’s right…THE SOLD OUT CONCERT THIS SATURDAY! All you have to do is be the ninth caller. Never say that I never did anything for ya.” *NSYNC’s “Bye, Bye, Bye” begins to blast out of the radio. Allison looks over tentatively at Bryce. He sighs and waves his hand in the air apathetically. She squeals and leans over to hug and kiss him, then starts singing and bopping along with the music. The camera watches the red convertible drive off down the road. All that can be seen now is Paul Lozzie standing topless in the shallow end of Lake Flora. He is looking very worried and is trying desperately to see into the dark blue water. He reaches his arms into the water, elbow-deep, apparently searching for something. Paul: “Nydia? Nydia, this has ceased to be funny! I never asked to see your impersonation of “Jaws.” Come on, you’re freaking me out…” The camera is now staring at a front view of Paul (and what a nice view it is…er…never mind…), and slowly Nydia can be seen emerging from the water behind Paul. He doesn’t hear her as she creeps slowly towards him; he is still looking for her. As soon as she is close enough, Nydia pounces onto Paul’s back, almost dragging him underwater. Nydia: (yelling) “Ahhhh!!! Gotcha, Paulie! Feel the wrath of the Latina Lake Creature!” Paul grabs Nydia and tosses her over his shoulders into the water. She emerges, choking. Paul: (concerned) “Nydia, are you okay?” Nydia jumps on Paul and dunks him underwater. The two scuffle for a bit until they hear someone call out Nydia’s name. Male voice: (loudly) “Nydia! Paul! Hey, what are you doing here?” Nydia and Paul stop, mid-battle. Nydia has a death-grip on Paul’s torso with her legs and is hanging onto his neck for dear life with her hands. Paul has one arm wrapped tight around Nydia’s waist, and his right hand is smashed against her face, trying to push her head underwater. He releases the grip on her face so that she can turn her head towards the shore. Standing on the sandy beach are Bryce and Allison, the former looking elated and waving, the latter looking seriously upset. Nydia: “Hi, Bryce! Hi, Allison! Just taking a swim and having a picnic is all. Wait there, we’ll join you!” The camera stays on Bryce and his disgruntled girlfriend. He turns to her, elated. Bryce: “Isn’t this great?! Now we can have some company during our picnic!” Bryce looks at her and then to his best friend (who is looking simply stunning in her bikini, by the way) and then back to Allison as the camera fades to black. Ooh! A cliff-hanger! Guess who watched her daily dose of Passions today?
Cathleen: (whimpering) “Oh, Allison! You won’t believe the incredibly embarrassing things that I have just done!”
Allison: “Cathleen, calm down…you’re getting all whiny!”
Cathleen: (calming down) “I’m sorry, Allison, I’m just so traumatized! I mean, first I was late for work, then, the second that I get there, I almost break Jaime Alvarez’s nose with the kitchen door! Then, not ten seconds after he gets back from cleaning up, I tripped and sent this pie careening right towards his face! He kept having to go clean up, and now he’s scared that the boss will dock his pay! And don’t even get me started about the parking lot fiasco!”
Cathleen: (close to sobbing) I am mortified, Allison! I don’t know how Jaime could possible like me now!”
Allison’s voice: (voice over) “Not like he ever liked you to begin with…” (out loud) “Oh, sweetie! He’ll like you. I mean, Jaime understands that everyone has bad days. He’ll forget all about this once you and he are together. But I really can’t talk now. Bryce and I are on our way to Lake Flora for a picnic lunch.”
Cathleen: “But I thought that you two were supposed to go the Cuminos’ cabin in the mountains for a week…you know, the one near that guys’ summer camp?”
Cathleen: (interrupting) “That is not true! Only you and I know that!”
Allison: “Everyone who matters, dear.”
Cathleen: “Oh, yeah, right. Okay, well, I hope your picnic doesn’t suck or anything. I’m going to go crawl into a hole and die somewhere. I still have three hours until my shift ends, and I can go home and wallow in self-pity in private. I’ll talk to ya later, Allison. Thanks for being such a great friend.”
Allison: (rolls her eyes) “Okay. I’ll talk to you later, hon. Try not to do anything else mortifying, okay? Bye.”
Allison reaches for the radio, which is playing Green Day’s “Basket Case.” Bryce reaches his hand out and pushes hers away.
Allison: (pouting) “But, baby, we always listen to songs that you like whenever we drive anywhere. We never get to listen to my music.”
Bryce: “No, we always end up listening to your stuff. Whenever a song I like comes on, you change the station. Whenever a commercial comes on, you fiddle with the stations until something you like comes on.”
Allison: (still pouting) “I thought that you liked my music. I thought that we had similar musical interests.”
Bryce: “No, you listen to that pop crap. Or you’ll find some horrible female rapper to listen to or the trendiest, new R&B singer. I, on the other hand, like rock music. I like jazz. I like the blues. I like actual music, not that bubble-gum-made-in-a-factory-in-Orlando crap or whatever kind of music the “popular” people are listening to. Our tastes, dear-heart, are quite different.”
Allison: (scornfully) “Let me tell you something, Bryce Cumino: whether you want to admit it or not, you are one of the “popular people!” I don’t know why you keep denying it, or why you hang out with the drama freaks…”
Bryce: (interrupts) (pissed off) “Thanks a hell of a lot, Allison. You seem to forget that I am one of the ‘drama freaks.’ I was a drama freak before you had even recruited the basketball team to join the ‘I Used to Go Out with Allison Wendkin” club! And I will still be a drama freak a long time after I have joined the aforementioned club. So why don’t you just get your prissy head out of the clouds and either accept me for who I am or dump me for someone I’m not? Do us both a favour, Allison.”
Allison: (shrieking) “Don’t you think I want to dump you, you jerk?! I couldn’t get rid of you if I tried! My dad would ground me for life for cutting ties with the son of his biggest client; my reputation at school would be tarnished for dumping the most well-liked student in Dominica High School history…Plus, you’re the last me-worthy guy at Dominica unless I started dating the jocks again. I’d have to start dating guys at Central High School, and how would that look: the head cheerleader going out with her school’s rival’s quarterback? It would look shitty, that’s how it would look!”
Bryce: (scoffing bitterly) “Well, then I guess we’re stuck with each other. We’re both screwed, Allison, so let’s just ‘agree to disagree,’ and just let me listen to my damn music, okay?”
Allison: (huffily) “Fine. Whatever.”
Paul: (trying not to fall under) “Gah! Jesus, girl, you scared the hell out of me! How did you manage to stay under water for so long?”
Nydia: (grinning) “I took swimming lessons for a whole summer when I was ten. Didn’t you ever take lessons? They teach you that sort of thing.”
Paul: (grinning) “Yeah, I took lessons, but I slept through most of them. I only stayed awake long enough to learn how to do this!”
Nydia: (grinning, no longer choking) “Sucker!”
Nydia lets go of Paul’s neck with one of her hands and waves back to her friend.
Bryce: “Okay!”
Allison: (huffily) “Now I know the real reason why you wanted to come here instead of going to your family’s cabin in the mountains.”
Bryce: (defensively) “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Allison: “Oh, don’t try to stand here and tell me that you didn’t plan on coming up here because Nydia Alvarez was here. Everyone and their mother knows that you have the biggest crush on her!”
