Jimmy's so Stupid... (A slight modification to yo mama's so stupid...)



Jimmy's so stupid, he spent twenty minutes lookin' at an orange juice box because it said `concentrate.' 

Jimmy's so stupid, I put a Scratch-N'-Sniff sticker on the bottom of the pool and he drowned. 

Jimmy's so stupid, I asked him do tricks for me and he wagged his tail. 

Jimmy's so stupid, he has 1 toe & bought a pair of flip flops 

Jimmy's so stupid, he put lipstick on her forehead because he wanted to makeup his mind. 

Jimmy's so stupid, he put a phone up his ass and thought he was making a booty call. 

Jimmy's so stupid, he put out the cigarette butt that was heating your house. 

Jimmy's so stupid, he put on his glasses to watch 20/20. 

Jimmy's so stupid, he got stabbed in a shoot-out. 

Jimmy's so stupid, he failed a survey. 

Jimmy's so stupid, he stopped at a stop sign and waited for it to say go. 

Jimmy's so stupid, he tried to commit suicide by jumping out of the basement window. 

Jimmy's so stupid, he needs twice as much sense to be a half-wit. 

Jimmy's so stupid, he told me to meet him at the corner of "Walk" and "Don't Walk." 

Jimmy's so stupid, when the computer said "Press any key to continue", he couldn't find the 'Any' key. 

Jimmy's so stupid, he thought 2pac Shakur was a Jewish holiday. 

Jimmy's so stupid, when I was drowning and yelled for a life saver, he said "Cherry or grape?" 

Jimmy's so stupid, he sat in a tree house because he wanted to be a branch manager. 

Jimmy's so stupid, when I told him to squeal like a pig, he said "Moo!" 

Jimmy's so stupid, his latest invention was a glass hammer. 

Jimmy's so stupid, he saw a billboard that said "Dodge Trucks" and he started ducking through traffic. 

Jimmy's so stupid, he got locked out of a convertible car with the top down. 

Jimmy's so stupid, when he threw a grenade at me I pulled the pin and threw it back. 

Jimmy's so stupid, he was on the corner with a sign that said "Will eat for food." 

Jimmy's so stupid, he got on an elevator and thought it was a mobile home. 

Jimmy's so stupid, he got locked in Furniture World and slept on the floor. 

Jimmy's so stupid, he got shoved in an oven and froze to death. 

Jimmy's so stupid, he thinks fruit punch is a gay boxer. 

Jimmy's so stupid, he got locked in a meat locker and sweat to death. 

Jimmy's so stupid, he leaves the house for the Home Shopping Network.

Jimmy's so stupid, he tried to put M&M's in order. 

Jimmy's so stupid, he peals M&M's to make chocolate chip cookies. 

Jimmy's so stupid, he threw a rock at the ground and missed. 

Jimmy's so stupid, he sat on the TV & watched the couch. 

Jimmy's so stupid, he went to the store to buy a color TV and asked what colors they had. 

Jimmy's so stupid, he thought St. Ides was a Catholic church. 

Jimmy's so stupid, he thinks sexual battery is something in a dildo. 

Jimmy's so stupid, the first time he used a vibrator, he cracked her two front teeth. 

Jimmy's so stupid, he sent me a fax with a stamp on it. 

Jimmy's so stupid, he was on the corner giving out potato chips yellin' "Free Lays!" 

Jimmy's so stupid, he tried to throw a bird off a cliff. 

Jimmy's so stupid, he tried to drown a fish. 

Jimmy's so stupid, he thought menopause was a button on the VCR. 

Jimmy's so stupid, when he worked at McDonald's and someone ordered small fries, he said "Hey Boss, all the small one's are gone." 

Jimmy's so stupid, his shoes say TGIF- toes go in front. 

Jimmy's so stupid, if brains were gas he wouldn't have enough to power a flea-mobile around the inside of a Froot Loop. 

Jimmy's so stupid, when they said they were playing craps she went and got toilet paper. 

Jimmy's so stupid, when he took you to the airport and a sign said "Airport Left," he turned around and went home. 

Jimmy's so stupid, he put a ruler on his pillow to see how long he slept. 

Jimmy's so stupid, he thought a quarterback was a refund. 

Jimmy's so stupid, I said give me a quarter back and she gave me Dan Marino. 

Jimmy's so stupid, he was locked in a grocery store and starved to death. 

Jimmy's so stupid, if you gave him a penny for his intelligence you'd get change. 

Jimmy's so stupid, they had to burn the school down to get him out of 3rd grade. 

Jimmy's so stupid, he couldn't tell which way an elevator was going if I gave him two guesses. 

Jimmy's so stupid, when his wife lost her marbles he bought her new ones. 

Jimmy's so stupid, he thought the internet was something you catch fish with. 

Jimmy's so stupid, he took a spoon to the Super Bowl. 

Jimmy's so stupid, he tried to mail a letter with food stamps. 

Jimmy's so stupid, he tried to drown himself in a carpool.

Jimmy's so stupid, he thought hamburger helper came with another person. 

Jimmy's so stupid, he thought meow mix was a record for cats. 

Jimmy's so stupid, he thought he needed a token to get on soul train. 

Jimmy's so stupid, he invented a solar powered flashlight. 

Jimmy's so stupid, he thought the board of education was a piece of wood. 

Jimmy's so stupid, he told everyone that he was "illegitiment" because he couldn't read. 

Jimmy's so stupid, he got hit by a parked car. 

Jimmy's so stupid, he sold the car for gas money. 

Jimmy's so stupid, he ran out of gas leaving Texaco. 

Jimmy's so stupid, he sold the house to pay the mortgage. 

Jimmy's so stupid, he thought Sherlock Holmes was a housing project. 

Jimmy's so stupid, he went to a Clippers game to get a hair cut. 

Jimmy's so stupid, he went to a Whalers game to see Shamu. 

Jimmy's so stupid, when he saw a "Wrong Way" sign in his rearview mirror, he turned around. 

Jimmy's so stupid, he thought asphalt was a skin disease.

Jimmy's so stupid, he thought Delta Airlines was a sorority. 

Jimmy's so stupid, when he saw the "NC-17 (Under 17 Not Admitted)" sign, he went home and got 16 friends. 

Jimmy's so stupid, when I said it was chilly outside, he ran outside with a spoon. 

Jimmy's so stupid, he called the 7-11 to see when they closed. 

Jimmy's so stupid, when he heard 90% of all crimes occur around the home, ahe moved. 

Jimmy's so stupid, I saw him in the frozen food section with a fishing rod. 

Jimmy's so stupid, I taught him how to do the running man and I haven't seen him since. 

Jimmy's so stupid, he thinks a sanitary belt is drinking a shot out of a clean glass. 

Jimmy's so stupid, when someone said "Take the trash out," he moved. 

Jimmy's so stupid, he used a vibrator for an egg beater. 

Jimmy's so stupid, he wiped his ass before he took a shit. 

Jimmy's so stupid, he thinks a 17 inch Admiral is a well hung sailor. 

Jimmy's so stupid, he went to Dr. Dre for a pap smear. 

Jimmy's so stupid, he asked you "What is the number for 911". 

Jimmy's so stupid, he thinks Christmas Wrap is Snoop Dogg's holiday album. 

Jimmy's so stupid, he bought a video camera to record cable TV shows at home. 

Jimmy's so stupid, he thinks Trak Auto is where you get hair weaves for your car.

Jimmy's so stupid, he tried to drop acid but the car battery fell on her foot. 

Jimmy's so stupid, he got shot running the border after seeing a Taco Bell commercial. 

Jimmy's so stupid, he thinks Taco Bell is where you pay your telephone bill. 

Jimmy's so stupid, he thinks Taco Bell is a Mexican Phone Company. 

Jimmy's so stupid, he ordered a cheese burger from McDonald's and said "Hold the cheese." 

Jimmy's so stupid, he put a quarter in a parking meter and waited for a gumball to come out. 

Jimmy's so stupid, he got on his knees to drink his "Nehi" peach drink. 

Jimmy's so stupid, he thought Thailand was a men's clothing store. 

Jimmy's so stupid, he got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W's. 

Jimmy's so stupid, when he went to take the 44 bus, he took the 22 twice instead. 

Jimmy's so stupid, he needed a tutor to learn how to scribble. 

Jimmy's so stupid, he ordered his sushi well done.