The Proposal: Chaper 11 (NC-17)

Jax reminded himself of his promise not to take advantage of Keesha. In addition to the normal feelings she was struggling with, she just discovered her father had died.

But as he watched her, staring silently into his eyes, he almost felt as she was calling for him.

Keesha became lost in the sea that were her husband's eyes. Looking at him, she found herself so close to whispering those words that were in her heart.

Finally she broke eye contact.

Obviously, Jax decided, he needed to leave. It seemed his feelings for Keesha were clouding his judgement all together. Jax took a small breath and said simply, "I will be going. Good evening Keesha."

Jax closed his eyes as Keesha's fingers touched his mouth gently. His soft voice, with his threat of leaving her alone, beckoned her once again, to tell him all of the things in her heart. That he in fact, had become her heart.

And that would never do.

Therefore, she needed him silent.

Yet...she also required him to stay.

Slowly Keesha began to draw her hand from his mouth, yet her fingertips lingered upon his lips...his mouth parted and she traced his mouth softly.

Jax swallowed, his mind racing. From the moment he saw Keesha, his body ached to have her. But anytime she touched him gently, her movements seemingly filled with such emotion, as they she was touching him now, his desire for her grew almost too intense. Because the ache to be with her went so far beyond his body's desires.

It was almost as if he, his body and his mind...

And his heart...

needed her.

Jax opened his eyes.

He did need her.

Jax cupped her face into his hands, leaning in as he drew Keesha near. Faintly however he remembered his promise and he paused.

Keesha rested her hands on top of his, looking down with a small breath. She did not know much, but everything she did learn reminded her that there were certain things a woman did not do. Even with her husband. And one thing, as the women in her family had explained to her, was to never, ever appear wanton by initiating intimate contact.

Yet the women in her family had never told her she would be married to Jasper Jacks. Let alone in love with him.

Perhaps he was an exception she almost smiled. Then she looked into his eyes once more. She bent forward, placing a small kiss upon his mouth.

Keesha pulled away and looked at Jax again, waiting.

Hoping.

Jax opened his eyes and Keesha felt her heart stop.

Without her knowledge, Keesha had just given Jax all of the encouragement he needed. Jax leaned in and kissed Keesha again. And in a moment, she realized just how different this kiss was from any other they had shared. He kissed her deeply, fully tasting her...yet his kisses were so slow, and tender, a kind of fear unexpectedly sent butterflies through her stomach until she could handle it no more.

Jax moaned deeply as Keesha took control of their kiss, kissing him so passionately she left him breathless. He pulled away. "What is wrong?"

"Nothing." She kissed him again. Jax returned her kiss at first, but then he managed to pull away once more. Keesha stared at him, her eyes sparkelling as she bit the edge of her lips absently.

"What?" she inquired.

"Why have you the need to kiss me so..fiercely?" Jax managed to hold his ground.

Keesha sighed. "It is wrong?"

"Keesha...you cannot kiss me right now in such a fashion if you want me to be able to maintain some sort of control." He smiled slightly. "Besides, sometimes it is nice to be..."

"Your kisses are sending me messages I am positive you do not wish them to send," she interrupted him with a warning.

"Really?" Jax leaned forward and Keesha's eyes fluttered shut as he kissed her slowly once more. After a long while he pulled away. "How do you feel?"

"Cherished," she breathed.

"Really?" Jax repeated. "Then I have expressed myself correctly," he mumbled against her mouth before kissing her again. Just as he had before. Deeply, slowly, and tenderly.

Soon her fears left her, yet they were replaced with a confusion...she wished Jax would not toy with her emotions the way he seemed to like to do...but she was tired of thinking.

Keesha returned his kiss, this time following the lead his mouth gave her.

Jax and Keesha continued kissing as his hands left her face, undoing his shirt and removing it quickly. He kissed her one last time as he started to move away from the bed, finally reluctantly ending their kiss to stand in front of her.

Keesha opened her eyes, attempting to catch her breath. Jax held his hand out to her and she took it, standing across from him.

"You are never to lie to me, especially when we are alone like this."

Keesha liked the use of his words, they seemed to imply there would be more moments like this, and that filled her with a joy she never imagined. However, "Why would I be untruthful?" she looked at him oddly.

"Just...you may say or do anything with me, do you understand?" Jax wanted Keesha to feel safe with him, even with any vulnerability she was likely to feel whenever they were intimate.

Especially with the vulnerability she was likely to feel whenever they were intimate.

"No..." her voice trailed as she became mesmerized by his bare torso.

Aside from that bandage, covering the place where Garcia had dared to hurt Jax.

A flash of anger darkened her eyes even further. She was so glad she had been able to find him that evening. Keesha reached out, touching Jax gently, tracing the muscles of his chest lightly with her fingers.

"Yes..." Jax decided, "You do." His voice was so low, it was almost like a growl and the tone sent a wave of desire through her entire body.

Keesha looked into his eyes again, and all of her thoughts failed as he stared at her, his growing desire darkening his blue eyes. His gaze moved to her mouth and he stepped closer.

Keesha closed her eyes, her body already warming by the thought of another full kiss from Jax...yet instead he kissed just her top lip. Her mouth parted slightly and he kissed the bottom one, ending with a gentle suck.

"Jax..." Keesha whispered his name and his eyes flew open. As did his heart. He wanted to hear it...

"Again," he mumbled against her lips, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her against his body as he kissed her softly.

"Jax..." This time her breathy voice quivered slightly, the sound seeming to touch his soul.

"Perfect."

Jax kissed Keesha, stepping back slightly so his hands could travel forward, trailing up her body until he had cupped her breasts in his hands. His thumbs carressed their curves through the material of her dress and she felt her body begin to tingle. She arched against him, needing more, even as her mouth tore from his, a groan escaping her lips.

Jax reached behind Keesha, beginning to undo the strings in back of her dress. "I do not wish to hear any thoughts of you being capable to undress yourself." He smiled, kissing her again. He pulled away as his hands continued their work.

Keesha blinked, and forced herself to breathe slowly. She closed her eyes and Jax slowly drew the dress past her shoulders...her heart raced so fast she thought for sure it would explode.

Her dress fell unto the floor, Jax's eyes following its fall.

Keesha opened her eyes, fighting the urge to cover the places the thin, flimsy material of her under slip had left bare.

Unaware of her urges, Jax's eyes left the floor, his gaze travelling up the length of her legs, marvelling at how long they were, despite her small staure. His eyes continued upwards, his senses drowning in her vision, and she ran both hands through her hair in complete and utter nervousness. Her desire for him had swept away any limited knowledge she had of exactly what was required for...this..to occur. Yet now, she realized she likely needed to be completely undressed. She was to be in front of someone for the first time since her body had began to curve the way a woman's was to. More importantly she was to be before Jax.

Silently she started to pray he would lead her under the safety of the covers of her bed before this continued any futher.

Jax stared, amazed at how the silky material of her gown hugged the soft curves of her hips...his body ached to touch those curves and he stepped forward once more. Still avoiding her eyes, actually afraid of what his reaction to her beauty might be if he looked into her eyes, he slowly drew the straps of her gown down off her shoulders, past her arms. Her own fingers clutched against the sides of her gown and Keesha willed herself to stay standing in front of him, despite the growing urge to cover herself and flee.

Please, just let her be even half as lovely to him as he was to her, she prayed once more.

Jax nuzzled against her throat, inhaling her scent deeply. That unexplicable desire Keesha felt for him pushed it's way to the forefront once more and her nervousness subsided as his mouth sucked against her skin. Her lips parted with a sigh and she let go of her gown, wrapping her arms around around his waist.

Jax ran his tongue slowly up the side of her neck and Keesha felt her body began to tighten as she felt his hands roaming slowly over her body.

Suddenly Keesha felt something flutter past her. She pulled away and looked down, just catching as her gown hit the floor. Her eyes grew, realizing she was now completely nude. She managed to look up, and felt her cheeks flush with heat as Jax's eyes travelled the length of her. She realized she was blushing for the first time in her life.

Jax knew she would be lovely. Keesha was always lovely. But. He blinked, completely unprepared for how amazingly lovely she was. "You are by far the most exquisite beauty I have ever seen," he admitted, mainly to himself. His voice, like his kisses had been, was slow, deep and tender.

And once again, like his kisses had done, Keesha felt completely cherished.

Keesha took a deep breath and smiled warmly as his gaze finally reached her eyes again. Jax watched as she stood tiptoe, his eyes closing as she kissed him gently.

Jax wrapped his arms around Keesha, lifting her back onto the bed. He pulled away from her again beginning to undo his breeches. Her eyes left his and she looked down instinctively, and this time, his nerves exploded. He didn't know where they came from, he was not innocent like she was-he was well past being self-concious. Or so he thought. Yet, for some reason beyond his knowledge, his stomach was tied into knots. "Keesha?"

"Yes?" she managed to whisper, wondering why his hands had paused.

"Please look at me."

Keesha looked up into his eyes once more and his nervousness subsided a little. She tilted her head as she stared at Jax, his blue eyes were so beautiful...

"I..."

Love you 0 the words were right on the tip of her tongue.

"All right." His voice was somewhat shaky and he took a deep breath, waiting as he stood nude before her.

Keesha blinked, thankful her thought was interrupted and her eyes left his face. Like he had done to her, she travelled slowly downward, soon she became, as always, so enchanted by his chest that she froze. "Lovely," she breathed, studying his hard, lean, yet muscular frame. She had never even dreamed of a man as perfect as Jax.

Jax closed his eyes, waiting and her gaze finally continued downward.

Her eyes grew, and shock went through her as she stared at the size of his manhood. Her mouth parted slightly in utter awe, and she reached her hand out tempted to touch him...she withdrew her hand quickly, hoping he had not noticed.

Jax opened his eyes once more. "Keesha?"

Keesha continued to stare. Never before had she felt such wonder...

For some reason, she felt her body begin to throb as she looked at him, an exquistite tightness coming over her. And the urge to simply touch him was replaced by an urge to...bring him to her in some way.

"Are you all right?"

"No," she answered without thinking.

Jax sighed. "I wish I could promise you not to hurt you..."

Pain?

Keesha looked up into Jax's eyes once more. Her Aunt had once warned her that intimacy would cause pain, it was one of many reasons Keesha had never felt any urge to rush and become intimate with anyone. The way her aunt spoke, Keesha soon decided intimacy was something to be avoided, a complete waste of time yet a necessary chore a married woman was to take.

But the moment Jax kissed her so many days ago, Keesha had believed her aunt was obviously steered her wrong. Every kiss and touch left Keesha craving more of him.

Yet now Jax himself was mentioning pain.

Keesha looked as Jax knelt in the bed before her. "It will not always be so," he promised. "Besides..." he kissed her, leading her down into the bed. "It is not yet time." Jax hovered above Keesha, kissing her so passionately that when he finally pulled away, they were both breathless. He shifted to rest between her legs and then he bent forward, tasting the skin of her throat.

She loved it when Jax did that...Keesha closed her eyes as he sucked against her skin, inhaling sharply as his kisses began trailing down the front of her chest.

Starting on her left side, Jax placed small butterfly kisses across the flatness of her stomach, skipping over her navel and continuing until he reached the same point on her right. He sighed against her body as Keesha ran her fingers through his hair. Finally he turned his attention to the middle of her stomach, tracing his tongue around her navel, darting it inside, and then sucking on the area so hard that her body shivered and she groaned his name.

"Again," she barely heard him. Before she had the chance to wonder why he kept insisting to hear his own name, he ran his tongue slowly up the middle of her chest. As he detoured to take a breast into his mouth, Keesha opened her eyes, looking down at him. Jax flicked his tongue slowly over her nipple and her eyes shut again, and when he used his mouth to suckle against her breast her entire body arched.

"Jax..." she called him with a deep moan.

"Thank you." he answered, his tongue trailing up her body once more. Finally she felt his mouth touch hers and soon his mind reeled as she kissed him with unabashed hunger. She tried to satsify her need with the taste of his mouth, but for the first time, his kisses would not suffice. She pulled away from him, leaning up slightly as she began kissing his neck. She smiled...his skin even more delicious than she had imagined it would be.

Jax closed his eyes, a quivering sigh escaping his lips as her mouth used all of the lessons his had taught her. She finished by running her tongue across his throat before she opened her mouth, closing it over the side of his neck, giving it a gentle suck. He tilted his head back with a moan and Keesha traced a path with her tongue down the front of his throat, further placing butterfly kisses against his chest.

"Keesha..." Jax began with a whisper, but could only finish with a groan. Her eyes opened, her heart soaring at his call of her name. Is that how he felt when she spoke his? She shook her head, realzing she was thinking too much and continued kissing his chest. He moaned her name again as her tongue circled his nipple, but she stopped when she heard him mumble somthing she did not understand.

"Yes?" she looked up into his eyes.

"Touch me," he repeated as he led her hand from the bed, bringing it over to his body.

She needed no further encourgament and she bent her head again, tasting one side of his chest once more while her hand gently ran over the other. A shudder went through his body and he had to force himself to swallow as he wrapped his fingers into her hair. He opened his eyes and looked down at her.

She had an urge...she ran her tongue over his nipple again...and she considered fighting it, but Jax had said she was to do anything...

Jax pushed her hair back over one shoulder, taking a sharp breath as Keesha pulled gently on his nipple with her teeth, her hands sweeping over his stomach.

He closed his eyes once more, groaning her name for the third time.

Jax placed his hand on her leg, slowly moving it upwards toward her hips. Keesha pulled away from kissing his chest, looking into his eyes once more. Slowly she reclined back down in the bed, and her body, more instinctive than her mind, began to tremble slightly, somehow knowing it would not be much longer.

Jax kissed Keesha lovingly and once again she laced her fingers through his hair, holding him to her as she returned his kiss. His fingers moved to her inner thigh, his hand pushing her legs even further apart.

Jax laid down on top of Keesha and she sighed at the perfect feel of his nude body on top of hers. He shifted a little to the side, his body gliding over hers and suddenly his hardness actually began to throb against her thigh. Only part of him was resting on top of part of her, and her eyes opened. She was about to speak, but her words were stopped as he reached up taking one of her hands in his. He led her hand slowly to him.

Keesha glanced down, unsure, yet completely aware of what he wished. Jax loosened his grip on her hand, expecting her to recoil as he chastised himself for moving things too quickly. She looked up into his eyes once more and then she kissed his lips, pulling her hand the rest of the way from his.

This time it was his eyes which flew open as very cautiously her fingers touched his hardness. She continued kissing his lips and then carefully she continued, her fingers running slowly up the length of him. Jax closed his eyes, groaning, and she smiled against his mouth, content in the knowledge that once again she had managed to bring him pleasure, as he had for her.

Jax wanted Keesha so badly he knew he would not be able to withstand much more...instinctively she wrapped her hand as best she could around him and started to stroke. Jax tore his lips from hers, inhaling sharply.

"Let go."

"Why?" she asked, though her hand did as he commanded, resting on the bed.

"Because...bloody hell," he mumbled. He shook his head, sighing. "Kiss me....please."

Keesha happily complied and soon felt his hand travelling up her thigh again. A small shiver went through her body once more and all of the sensations within her that Jax was causing by his kisses and his touch threatened to overwhelm her.

Slowly Jax slid a finger up within her and Keesha froze. Her hand flew to his arm and she attempted to pull him away.

"Stop," he ordered simply against her lips. Slowly her hand slid to the bed once more, and Jax slid his tongue into her mouth, kissing her deeply-his tongue imitating the provocative movements of his fingers.

Just as Keesha thought she was getting used to the odd wonderful new sensations, her body tightned with such force that she arched suddenly, her fingers clutching into the sheets beneath her.

"No more..." Jax realized. He could take no more, and he had to have her now. He rested completely on top of Keesha, sliding one muscular thigh between her legs to make even more space for himself. Keesha opened her eyes, looking at him as she felt him shift down her body, his weight pushing her even further into the bed. Jax opened his eyes to look at her and she touched his face gently.

"You must trust me Keesha."

"I do," she whispered. Jax raised one of her legs.

"I will be as careful as I can..."

"Stop worrying. I am not glass, you will not break me."

His heart pounded against his chest as he looked at her. "No....but you have already broken me," he admitted, wondering exactly when she became so important to him.

Keesha dropped her hand from his face. "Riddles," she chastised.

"Perhaps," he smiled.

Jax took a deep breath and then slowly began to enter Keesha, his eyes studying her carefully. She felt a sharp pain and wrapped her fingers into the sheets, catching her breath.

"It will not always be as such," he promised.

Keesha hoped not, however it was not nearly as bad as Jax seemed to make it out to be. She felt a need to hold him and wrapped her arms around him, resting her hands against his shoulders.

Jax took another breath as he continued, fighting himself to keep the pace slow. Keesha closed her eyes, digging her nails into his shoulders. Everything was too uncomfortable now...she shifted slightly, thinking perhaps if she moved she could find a better position.

"Please..." Jax began. He had never felt anyone so perfect in his entire life...and it was taking all of his restraint to control himself this far. He knew that if she moved...

Keesha arched ever so slightly and the battle was lost. Jax surged into her fully with a deep groan.

Keesha gasped, stunned at first and then her shock was replaced by pain. She let go of Jax, "Bloody hell!" she exclaimed as she tried to push him away.

"Oh Keesha..." Jax didn't know whether to cry or actually laugh at her use of his favorite remark. "I'm sorry." he whispered. "Please...relax."

"I cannot."

"Yes...you can." Jax kissed Keesha gently, forcing himself to remain still even as the exquisite moist tightness of her urged him to move, his mind and body knowing true heaven was not far away. "It will not always be like this," he promised again.

Keesha failed to believe him this time-she wondered how anything could change, unless Jax somehow magically grew smaller.

If he held still however...

"Is it better?"

"Yes," she found herself answering.

Jax kissed Keesha again and then finally he answered the call to move. She stopped breathing, hoping things would get no worse...yet instead that odd tingle began tempting her body once again. She reached up, holding him once more. This was much improved.

"Damn..." he mumbled. "Keesha?"

Keesha opened her eyes and looked into his.

"I cannot hold off any longer...I tried, but..." Jax found his thoughts interrupted by her passionate kiss.

Keesha did not care. She found herself completely content in the knowledge that Jax desired her so much. Completely content in his efforts to make everything okay for her. Completely content in the closeness she felt with him inside of her, his body so close to her she almost felt as one with him. Completely content knowing that now she was truely his, in every sense of the word.

Her nails dug into his back once more and his pace quickened. He buried his face against her throat, moaning her name.

Jax groaned as he surged into Keesha one last time, his climax so intense his body shivered. "Bloody hell..." his mind stated. He knew that everything he had felt for Keesha before would be only a small fraction of how he would feel about her now. Though he no longer really worried whether he himself was the cause of her emotional dilemmas, he did wonder exactly what her feelings for him were. How deeply did they run-even though he was sure they could not possibly be the same as his.

She held him tightly, and a small whisper escaped her lips.

"I love you."

"Keesha?" Jax wondered what Keesha had said.

Even more content. Completely content in the realization that being with Jax in this way allowed her to show him just how much she loved him, without requiring her to say too loudly the words that she feared would likely guarantee him to shut her out completely.

"Nothing," she breathed, sweeping her hands down his back as he continued to rest on top of her. She smiled as she realized that this alone, holding him like this, proved her aunt wrong. She would not avoid this moment with Jax for anything.

His breathing somewhat normal once more he leaned up, tilting her face over to his. "I..."

Keesha touched his lips. "Jax, do not apologize again. It was more....beautiful than I could ever have dreamed."

Jax kissed her finger before drawing it away from his mouth. "It will be even better for you next time. I promise." He hoped he would be able to make the world move for her, the way she had done for him. He sighed.

"What?"

"I have an urge to kiss you." Jax smiled.

"You may kiss me whenever you wish."

Keesha changed Jax's bandage once more as they stood together in the bath. "What are you doing?" she asked as his fingers started to tug away at the sheet she had insisted on wrapping around her body. She held the material close.

"Kissing youm" he said before brushing his lips across hers. Soon the kiss grew passionate and Keesha started to wonder if Jax actually planned to try again. And as much as she loved him, and what they just shared, she was not entirely sure her body could take much more.

Jax lifted her, carrying Keesha into his chamber and resting her on the bed. He kissed her fiercely and then pulled away, staring at her.

As always, his kisses left her with a need that she knew now only he could fufill. She sat up slightly and then knelt on his bed as he stood at the edge. Her reservations slipped away as she kissed him once more.