Chapter 48
Chapter 48
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Keesha glanced over at the house. Seeing no one at the window, though
she could have sworn for a moment Jax was watching, she looked back at
Miranda.
"Well?"
"Well what? If I know anything, I'm not going to tell you about it."
Miranda sighed. "I should have known..."
"Maybe..." Keesha tapped her foot as she thought. "Maybe I can feel
Carly out for you. I know her better than you, and I know when she's
trying to get one over on anyone. That way..."
"That way I'll know what to expect. And I can warn Jerry."
Keesha shrugged. Miranda nodded. "Okay." she continued. "We have to
meet somewhere where neither Jerry or Jax will be looking for us."
Keesha thought for a moment. "Mac's house."
"Mac's house. Call me and let me know when." Miranda finished and
walked away from the back.
"Where'd you go?" Jax said when Keesha came back into the house. He
glanced over at her and then took another sip of coffee.
"Just out back. Are you going into the office today?"
"Yes. But only after we finish our talk."
"Finish?" Keesha turned away from the coffee pot and leaned up against
the counter, blowing cool air into her cup. "I thought we were done."
"I never told you why I was in jail."
"Actually, I heard you on the phone, threatening to buy the entire
airport and fire everyone. I assume they made a mistake..."
"Delaying me was their main mistake." Jax finished his coffee and set
the cup in the sink. "I had realized something..."
Jax took the paper away from the receptionist up front. He grabbed a
clipboard and sat down, looking at the lone document, simply one page,
that would grant him a divorce by the end of the day.
He took out a pen. Name "Jasper J. Jacks." Birthdate "April 10th,
1970". Place(s) of citizenship. "Austraila. USA." Reason-Keep to one
line. (irreconcilable differences is adequate).
Irreconcilable?
No.
He paused, thinking...and then he moved on.
Spouse's maiden name. "Keesha C. Ward."
His eyes drifted up the page, back to the one line section asking him
why.
Why?
He closed his eyes-and all he could hear was the repeated slamming of
the hotel door as Keesha finally gave up, and left.
Gave up, realizing if the truth...the fact that she wasn't living until
him...the fact that she wanted to be with him now...that she felt empty
until him...
"Sir. Are you finished?" a voice came in broken English.
Jax looked up at the receptionist. "Yes." he got up, tearing the paper
in half. "I'm done." he flashed her a brilliant smile-the first true
smile he had had in awhile-and ran off.
Jax looked up at the destination screen as he waited in line. The
plane to New York wasn't leaving for 3 hours...he wondered if Keesha
was even here yet.
"Can I help you?"
"Yes. Last name is Jacks...I'm here to pick up my ticket for the NY
flight...hey, can you do me a favor?"
The attendant looked away from the screen and waited.
"My wife is on this flight, can you tell me if she's checked in yet."
"Certainly. What's her name."
"First name Keesha-K-e-e-s-h-a."
Jax glanced around the airport as he waited.
"There's no Keesha Jacks on this flight."
"What?" he asked slowly.
"No...there was a cancellation...let me see...by a Keesha actually.
But she said *Ward.*"
Jax felt his heart stop.
"Not a cancellation...a transfer."
"Transfer to what?"
"Is that...."
"TRANSFER TO WHAT?!"
The attendant jumped, startled by Jax's complete shift in moods. He
stuttered. "Flight to France...leaving in...5 minutes...hey!"
Jax whirled the screen around to face him. Seeing the gate number he
ducked under the rope and dashed up the walkway.
"I saw you. I called for you, and I watched you turn towards my
voice...but then I got stuck behind this man..." Jax sat down at the
small table in the breakfast nook. Keesha shifted and followed him
with her eyes, unable to actually get her legs to move from it's spot.
"When I got around him, you were gone. And I snapped. I kept
thinking, she's already dropped my name, she's already shutting
down...I have to get to her...before I completely destroy everything
that we have." Jax looked over at Keesha again. "And..." he stopped,
shaking his head.
"And?"
And when he saw her at the police station, and she stepped away from
him when he reached for her, and wouldn't look at him, he thought
destroying everything was exactly what he had done.
But she came back, with him.
Yet, even now, she wouldn't look at him...not really...not for long
periods of time. Not how she used to. Things were different. There
was a wall...small maybe...but still there.
And he wondered how much longer it would be.
"Nothing."
"Jax?" Keesha finally found motion, and walked slowly over to the
table. She knelt down in front of him. "Do you remember when I told
you, you could talk to me about anything. Anything at all?"
"Of course. I remember everything you say." Jax smiled into her eyes.
"Then...are you *sure* that there's nothing else you want to add?"
Keesha broke eye contact and glanced down at Jax's hands. She took one
and looked back up at him again.
"Not now."
"You know..." her tone dropped and she stated quietly. "I hate that."
she gave his hand a squeeze.
"Yep. I know."
Keesha took a deep breath. She got up, sitting on his lap. Jax closed
his eyes, wrapping his arms around her, pulling her closer. "I love
you." she whispered into his ear, her face nuzzling against his.
Jax hugged her tightly, not answering.
They stayed like this for a moment and then Keesha pulled back, letting
go with a small kiss on his cheek. She got up from his lap and started
to move away.
"And..."
She turned and looked at Jax as he began once more.
"...I realized how much I hurt you...because you wouldn't look at me.
You still don't...and I feel selfish, because I know that I did
this...but I need for you to look at me...the way you used to..."
Keesha blinked and stared at the ground.
"Keesha?" Jax stood. He came over to her and slowly bent, wanting to
reach out and tilt her face up. But he fought the urge and continued.
"I understand, that I hurt you. And not even that long ago. And I
know maybe you just need some time...but you have to understand, that I
need for you to really *look* at me. I wouldn't ask that of you if I
didn't...I won't hurt you..."
"You can't say that." Keesha finally made eye contact with Jax again.
"You don't know that. I would never ask you to promise me something
like that..."
"I can promise that I will be more careful..." Jax ran his fingers
across her face. "I can promise you that I will try like hell not to
ever, ever hurt you again..."
"It's not your fault..."
Jax heard her words, but beyond her words he watched in her eyes as she
struggled-they struggled...yet managed to maintain contact with his all
of this time.
Like she used to.
"I love you." he interrupted her, knowing that *now* she would actually
hear him.
Keesha knew that. She knew that-without Jax ever saying so-yet
thankfully he told her all the time.
And as the words reached her, again she felt it-like she always did.
That never stopped.
She took a deep breath.
The difference was that now, for the first time since after they
seperated, she *wanted* to feel it. Completely.
Shani]]>
