Chapters 40 & 41

Jax tipped the bellboy and closed the door. He stepped out of his shoes and walked straight to the bed, glancing at the clock. All of Keesha's belongings should be out of the house by now, he thought, managing to feel even more emptier than before. He had been hoping that somehow, he would be able to come up with something. Something that would keep them together. But after last night, he realized, once again, how selfish he had been. Anything he could come up with, would just drag this out...it would deprive her and him of a normal life, for even longer. They would be planning and scheming forever. And though he could live like that, he refused to let her do so. Last night he realized just how open he had left things, and they needed to be closed, so Keesha could get on with her life. And that's why he was here now, so they could get a quick divoirce. So he could close the door once and for all. Jane stood at the bottom of the stairs. Great. They had woken her up, the movers realized. Jax would be very unhappy about that. "Our apologies Mrs. Jacks...we didn't mean to wake you." "Who are you...never mind, I re cognize you, Paul. What are you doing here this time of night." "Mr. Jacks asked us to remove his wife's belongings tonight, so they would be gone by the time he got back." "Back from where?" "The Dominican Republic..." Colin, the other mover's, voice trailed off as Paul glared at him. They weren't authorized to give Jax's whereabouts, to his mother or anyone else. They watched as Jane left the staircase, heading back to the guest room downstairs. "Way to go Colin..." Jax muted the television, reaching into his duffel bag on the floor. "Yes." "Hey little brother." Jerry said cheerfully. "Jerry." Jax smiled. "How are you?" "Awful, and you?" "Horrendous. When are you coming back to Port Charles?" "I'm not sure. When are you heading back?" "What do you mean?" "Jax, I know where you are. Mum called me, wondering if I knew any spots that Keesha would go...she's on a mission to find her and convince her to get there before you do something drastically stupid." "Thanks Jer. I love how I can always count on your sensitivity...." "Hey, if you wanted someone sensitive, then you should be back at home with Keesha. But don't worry...Lady Jane won't find her." "And you would know this because?" "Keesha's not in Port Charles...but enough about you, let's move on to my favorite subject. Me." Jax laughed. "Some things never change..." he stated as his mind wandered, wondering when Keesha decided to go back to Philadelphia. "How are you, really?" Jax was glad Jerry called. He missed talking to him, and he missed having him to worry about. "I told you." "Are you coming back?" "Yes I am. I can't leave you to fend off everyone alone, can I?" "Have you talked to Bobbie?" "Sorry, the last question was the final one." Jax was silent. "No." Jerry said quietly. "But that's probably for the best." "How can that be for the best Jerry?" "Um, excuse me. But where are you right now...oh yes, in DR, planning to legally distance yourself from the best thing to come into your life. And you're asking me questions about things being for the best. You're stupid you know..." "I am not telling you that..." Miranda glared at Helena. "Luke is occupied with Bobbie, and Carly, and helping Sonny. You got that far all right...but what happens between myself and Jerry is my business and my...." "Listen to me." Helena spoke slowly. "Luke is only one of your problems." "Luke is *your* problem, not mine." "I've been dealing with Spencer and my ingrate of a son for decades. Neither of them is a problem, for me. But they are both your problem, because if you don't situate Jericho and Jasper where I want them and soon, then I will have to come up with another plan...without you. And you truely do not want to be useless in my eyes, because I will treat you as such." Helena turned away from Miranda. "Your Jacks will come back soon. I suggest you be here, waiting when he returns. But of course, I'm sure that's your plan anyway." Miranda furrowed her brow. Of course it was her *plan*. Jerry needed her. And she needed Jerry. "I will give you one month, Miranda. One. Use your time wisely." Jax looked over at the clock. "Jer, I have to go...we've been on the line for 2 hours now." "What's the rush? I still have a lot to catch up on. You knew this would happen if we went into business together." "The courts are open now and I have an appointment. I want to get this over with, and then I'll call you back. We can talk more then." Jax stood from the bed and stretched. "Unless you need something." he added. "Well, we're in agreement, on what to do for the Neitze account?" "Yes, finally." Jax agreed, "By the way, happy birthday." "Okay. My birthday isn't for a week yet. Are you going to be gone that long?" Jerry grinned. "No." He hung up. Jax shook his head and disconnected the call, tossing the phone on the bed. He walked over to the door. "Hi." Jax stared as Keesha walked into the hotel room.

---

"Jerry told me to tell you that you're welcome...whatever that means." Jax closed the door. "Keesha, what are you doing here?" "I'm here to contest our divorce. Which means this will drag out you know" she sat on the edge of the bed, looking up at him. "Ah, for once, I've made you speechless." Keesha watched as Jax's wheels turned, his hand running through his hair. "And while I have the floor, hear me out, okay? I can grant that you have a point..." "A point?" "Jax..." Jax sighed. He waited. "However, there has got to be a less painful way to fix this, don't you think?" "No." Keesha kicked off her shoes. "Okay, who are you and what have you done with my husband?" "What?" "The Jax I know doesn't give up. Not when something's important." "I'm not giving up. I'm letting go for the greater good, you ought to understand that difference more than anyone." "Jax...Moreno, and Jason, and Sonny, they have other things on their mind right now-like getting *out* of jail, I doubt they've given too much planning on what to do to the people who put them in right now." "So...you want me to just live in wait for them to kill you?" Keesha was taken aback by Jax's words. Though she knew that was Jax's reason behind all of this, it was the first time he had actually vocalized his fear. That they would kill her. She looked down as a chill went through her body. "Now, do you get it?" "There has to be an easier way." She looked up at him, determined. "You are too stubborn for your own good." Jax shook his head. "Damn it I am not stubborn!" Keesha stood from the bed coming towards him. She reached out as if to touch him, but drew away. "You're driving me insane...." she added with a mumble. "Mutual." he smiled. "But in a good way." "Jax..." "And I want you around to drive me insane for many many years to come." Keesha watched as Jax moved past her, over to the window. She followed and stood behind him. "I want to be able to know you and to love you as you live your life. I want you to see Elizabeth graduate from PCU because you were able to make her understand psychology. I want you to graduate with your PhD and go on to teach other students. I want you to go to France, and Spain, and England, and Germany. I want you to fall in love, and get married, and have children. I want you to have grandchildren." Jax turned away from the window. "If I'm lucky, maybe you'll decide to do all that here, so I can have the joy of watching you live your life...*really* live your life. Because that is what I need for you to do. I need for you to live." "But..." "I have already been in love with someone who left me, Keesha. Brenda...she left me, she didn't want to, and she didn't plan to....but she's gone just the same. This time...I want to be in love with someone who's still here." Jax forced himself to look into her eyes. "I need for you to be *here*." he reached out, touching her face lightly. "Not just in my mind, and dreams...and heart. I need you *here* for as long as possible...I don't think I can handle losing you too." Keesha reached up, closing her hand over his. After a moment she said, "I wish I could promise you that I will be here for a long time, but I can't. I don't know that. But I do know that my life isn't being lived without you. Not really." she brought his hand down from her face and kissed it softly. Jax closed his eyes and she continued. "When Jason...when Jason died, I lost something...I still had all these people around, but I was still very much alone. And even when I was with AJ part of me still felt empty without Jason there. Especially since I could see him day in and day out...at least in front of me. Then Grannie Mae...and then my dad, and my mom, and then AJ left me again, by the time Justus died...each time someone left me, in one way or another, I felt emptier...until there was no other feeling left. And the thing was, that didn't matter. Nothing mattered until you. You make *everything* matter. I love you so much, Jax. I love being in love with you, I love how your love for me makes me feel. I have never, ever, felt more alive than when I'm with you. And this may be selfish of me, but I need to feel that way for as long as possible-can't you understand that?" Jax took a deep breath and opened his eyes, looking down at Keesha once more. "I'll leave if I have to. If we can't think of something, then I'll go because I don't want you worrying about me for the rest of your life. That's not fair. But we, you and me, can think of something, can't we?...I mean, I even love Jerry...how many women have you dated that can actually say that they love Jerry, in a non-sick Miranda kind of way." she teased. Jax laughed. Then he sighed, smiling at her. "I love you." "I love you too." she finished hopefully. She glanced over at the phone as it rang. Jax let go of Keesha's hand, and walked over to answer it. "Yes...right....I know I'm supposed to be there..." Jax looked over at Keesha. He shook his head. "No...I'm on my way...." Jax closed his eyes as the door slammed. He took a deep breath as tears suddenly streamed down his face. Keesha wiped the tears from her eyes, sliding her sunglasses down over them. That was it. She had gone to Jax, and was honest as she could have been...telling him things she didn't even realize she thought, until she actually said them. But when all was said and done, despite her honesty and her love for him, and his for her, it didn't matter. Jax had made up his mind. And now there wasn't one iota of hope left in her. It was all over. She walked over to the ticket counter. "Yes, I have a round trip ticket back to Port Charles, New York...is there anyway I can change that." "Change it to?" "Um...France. I need to go to France." "There's a flight to France leaving in 15 minutes actually. First class hasn't filled up, is that too early." "No, that's fine. What gate?" The man pressed some keys and looked at his computer. "Flight 40. Gate 25. Mrs. Jacks...hello?" "Yes." Keesha took a breath. "It's Ward actually." Jax bolted throgh the airport, running over to the entrance of gates 20-25. There were so many people... "Sir! Sir!" A burly security guard attempted to hold him back..."You have to go through security." Jax yanked his jacket off, tossing it on the floor. With an excuse me, he pushed his way past the woman in front of him, running through the metal detactor. Sprinting up the walkway, he yelled at the top of his lungs. "KEESHA!" Keesha froze. She could have... "Miss? We're ready to take off, you need to go on now." "Sorry." she shook her head. "I thought I heard someone." "KEESHA!..." The attendant moved out of the way as Jax ran up to the edge of the now roped off pathway. He started to duck under it but was pulled back sharply. "Damn it!" he turned. "I have to get in there! My wife is on that plane!" "Sir...look..." Jax looked in the direction the man was pointing. Out the window he could see the plane rolling out. "There is another flight to France in 2 days." "2 days! I don't have....bring it back..." "Excuse me?" "You heard me, bring back the damn plane!" "We cannot do that..." Of course they couldn't. Why should anything go right for him? Keesha looked out the window as the plane rolled down the runway. She sighed. France would be a good place to hide from everything. Of course, who would be looking? "I said bring back that damn plane! NOW!"
Shani