Chapter 16
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Keesha leaned over the counter of the Nurses' Station. "Bobbie, I'm
going to lunch if that's okay."
"Of course it's okay. You're volunteering your time, you can come and
go as you please." Bobbie smiled and looked down at her watch. "Do
you have plans, or would you like company?"
Oh oh. Lunch with Bobbie without Jax? And without Jerry there to keep
her distracted? "Um...well I was going to go to the bookstore at the
University...."
"That won't take too long. Why don't I come." she was insistent, the
way only a Spencer could be.
"Sure. That would be nice."
V sat down across from Jax. "You won't beleive this...What?"
"I love watching you get excited about something. You know, if you
actually worked for me instead of Ned, you'd get to do fun stuff all
the time..."
"Lucky remembers something."
"You mean he'll cop to remembering something." Jax was sure that Lucky
didn't *forget* the past 2 years. He just didn't want to say yet.
"A woman. A woman was with him a lot of the time. He says she was a
captive of...whoever, just like him. But she was more *free*-she kind
of came and went as she pleased more often....and he described her.
Short brown hair, brown eyes, around 5 foot 7..."
"Miranda?"
V had only seen a picture of Miranda in Mac's and Felicia's house. But
for some reason, as Marcus told her last night about the woman,
Miranda's picture was the one that kept playing in her head. "You
think?"
"That would explain why she's on her way back here."
"How do you know? Are you guys friends or something."
Jax laughed bitterly. "No. But we have to get along. For Jerry's
sake."
"Jerry likes Miranda?"
Jax sighed. He might as well tell her now. If Miranda came back, it
probably was all going to come out sooner or later. He thought back to
that night 1 and a half years ago...
"How am I supposed to trust you again if you won't tell me? What are
you doing with a birthday card from Miranda?" Jax threw the card back
on the desk.
"We stayed in contact."
"You and Miranda? Why?"
"Because, we..." Jerry shook his head. It had taken a long time to
rebuild his relationship with Jax and he didn't want to lose it. "When
you thought Miranda died, so did I. But after you
seemed...better...and we went our seperate ways again, I got a call
from Lady Jane, telling me that she had something important to tell me.
So I went back to Australia, where she called from, and she said that
they found Miranda...that she somehow escaped death and had been
living in a hospital the past 6 months. But she wouldn't come back
with them, she didn't trust them, and Lady Jane wanted me to try. So
that we could convince her to tell you she was alive....Everyday for
a month I went to visit her, and tried to convince her to let us take
care of her, and on the last day she did. But she said she wanted to
get better first, and then we could tell you. It was the only way she
would come. Pop wanted to say no, but I thought that you would want
it, that whatever we could do to help her, we should. So I convinced
him to agree. So we set her rehabilitation up...and I would visit her,
here and there, to see how she was. Hoping that she would eventually
say *tell Jax now*. But it never came. Eventually, she got better,
but by then you had gone on with your life, and everyone decided it
would be best if she stayed away."
"What did come?"
"We became friends."
"Friends."
"Friends...that's all. Watching her determination to get better...it
was hard not to start to like her."
"Miranda was always determined, I'll say that much."
"I know you don't care for her anymore."
Jax rolled his eyes. "Do you understand what she tried to do to me? "
Jerry sat down next to Jax. He could understand why Jax didn't like
Miranda. Like he tried to explain to Miranda, while she claimed to
only tell him about Sonny and Brenda to help, what she really did was
hurt him in a way no one had before. And the fact that she didn't
understand that, let alone take responsibility for it, just diminished
her worth in Jax's eyes. But like he had tried to explain to Jax at
the time, perhaps she really did think she was doing what was best.
He felt like he was in the middle. And that was why he didn't come
when Brenda and Jax split soon after, he didn't feel he would be the
complete support Jax needed.
"Yes, and I'm sorry she hurt you. But..."
"You stayed in touch."
"I got a card from her as soon as she left Port Charles. It had no
return address, like this one. But she calls...I can never trace the
call, and yes, we talk. Like I said, we're friends...but, if you
want, I'll tell her never to call me again."
Jax looked over at Jerry, touched. "I can't choose your friends..
How's she doing?" he stood.
"Okay...I get the feeling she's hiding something..."
"Surprise...surprise." Jax stated to himself.
"Wow." V stared at Jax in awe. "Do you talk to her."
"Once. We learned that we really don't like each other all that
much..." he joked. "So we agreed to not speak anymore."
"How do you know she's on her way here."
"Jerry told me she said she would visit in a month or so."
"So she's coming in March?"
"Yes."
"Keesha?"
"Yes?" she poured ketchup on her fries.
"You never struck me as the impulsive type."
Keesha looked up at Bobbie. "I never met anyone like Jax before."
"Let me guess, all thought kind of flew out the window." Bobbie
nodded. The same thing happened almost immediately after she met
Jerry. Must be a Jacks trait.
"Bingo....which is scary." she added softly.
But Bobbie heard. "Scary how?"
"What?"
"What's scary."
"Nothing...don't worry about it."
"I'm going to worry about it. I love Jerry. Do you know how much
Jerry loves Jax? If Jax gets hurt..."
"I don't want Jax hurt either....I'm going to do my best to keep that
from happening." she assured her.
"Then what scares you?"
Keesha sighed. She wished she had someone to talk about this with.
Carefully she said. "The possibility that I might."
"Why do you think that?"
"Because this did happen so fast...he's all I think about, all the
time...I want to be near him, all the time...I haven't felt so close to
a person in...in ever."
"Love does that. How is that going to hurt Jax?"
Keesha swirled her ketchup on the plate with a fry. Could she be in
love with Jax? She ate the fry. "I'm still not used to it. That's
never been love for me." she attempted to answer her own question.
"Until now." she added for Bobbie.
"And you've never ran off and got married before either." Bobbie
stated knowingly. "You know who you remind me of...in a good way?"
Keesha laughed. "I'll bite."
"Laura."
"Oh...in a good way."
"Hey, she left my brother, the best man in the world, next to Jerry of
course..." Bobbie drank some water. "But no matter what, Laura didn't
think so. I won't get into the details, I don't know the details. But
what I do know, is that that woman knows how to overanalyze everything
in the world. That had she been a little more truthful, a lot of pain
could have been spared. Why are you worried that things are different
with Jax? Shouldn't they be?...it's not like you're me and Stefan."
Keesha continued to listen.
"I married Stefan because...for a number of reasons. But the main was
that he helped me forget all the pain that went on in my life...being
with Jax helps you remember the good, not forget the bad. You think
about Jax because you want to, because you do, not because you're
trying to forget..."
"And you know this how?" she leaned back in her chair. How could
Bobbie be so sure, when Keesha had no idea.
"Because, all around, you're a happier person. And let someone even
mention Jax...see."
"What?"
"Your eyes lit up like a Christmas tree."
"They did not." Keesha was embarrassed.
"Of course they did. So stop overanalyzing yourself and stop worrying,
and just enjoy what you have. It's different because it should
be....ready to go back?"
"Sure...just let me freshen up."
Bobbie watched as Keesha left the table. She took her phone out of the
purse, dialing.
"Yep."
"Hi my love."
Jerry smiled. "That's my line."
"I did your favor. Stop worrying. Keesha loves Jax so much, she
doesn't even know what to do with herself."
Jerry put his feet up on the desk. Even if Bobbie was wrong and
Keesha was just pretending for her sake, one thing was certain, Keesha
felt *something*. Bobbie could spot a complete fake a mile away. So
if Bobbie was convinced, there had to be something there.
Keesha walked into the Port Charles Grill. She looked around for Jax,
and not seeing him, sat down at the bar to wait.
"Good evening."
She smiled and turned around. "How was your day?"
"Productive." Jax gave Keesha a quick peck on the lips before sitting
across from her. He beckonded her with his finger to come closer and
she did. He leaned over and whispered in her ear. "There are people
watching."
"Really?" she sat back. "I thought about you today." Keesha reached up
and ran her fingers across Jax's lips.
"You're too good at this..." he mumbled as his eyes sparkled
automatically.
She took a deep breath. Did she love Jax? That was all she thought
about the rest of the day after lunch with Bobbie. And she had
decided, if she had to ask, the answer was probably no. But what she
did feel for Jax, what felt so real...perhaps it *was* real, she
concluded as she continued staring at him. "Can we go? I want to talk
to you."
"Um...okay. I'll have the limosine sent."
"What's going on?" Jax said once the driver pulled off.
"I really did think about you today...all day, actually."
"Really?" he teased.
"This isn't the first time."
"What were you thinking?"
"That I'm confused....but I'm not."
"So, now you plan to bewilder me?" Jax couldn't help but smile.
"You are...you mean...." Keesha struggled and tried again. "You
mean...a lot to me."
Jax's smile faded...he waited.
"And I'm afraid to find out how much you mean to me, bceause I don't
want to hurt you....it's very important to me that I not hurt you, Jax."
"That should tell you something...that it's so important to you that
you not hurt me. Doesn't that tell you something?"
Trying to figure *that* out would just give her a headache, like
always. So she continued. "I'm not impulsive. Everything I do, I
just don't *do*. Does that make sense?"
"Yes."
"Yet, something is pulling me to...see. To let you in."
"Then let me in." Jax moved closer to her.
Keesha looked down and back up at Jax. She leaned over and kissed him
softly. She pulled back and looked at him, wanting to...needing to
kiss him again.
Jax opened his eyes. He reached his hand out to her and she took it.
He pulled her closer; she setteled on his lap. They continued staring
at each other, until finally Keesha bent forward and kissed him again.
Jax ran his fingers down her sides, doing his best to maintain his
desire, wanting her to stay in control.
Without breaking off the kiss, Keesha reached up and cupped Jax's face
in her hands. She deepened their kiss, the taste of his mouth pushing
all doubts out of her mind. Her tongue stroked his slowly...she
shifted a little on his lap, his body reacted and he groaned. He
pulled away.
"What?" she whispered.
"Are you sure?" Because the fact remained, that though Jax didn't
think Keesha would hurt him...she could. He wrapped his arms around
her waist.
"Yes..."
"Then, not here."
Keesha barely even remembered where they were anymore. She let go of
Jax's face and looked around. "I forgot where I was...you have that
effect on me."
Jax smiled. He was about ready to answer when his phone rang. Keesha
got up and sat next to him. "Hello?..." he answered.
She noticed his eyes cloud over. He hung up the phone. "Damn her."
Shani
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