Keesha reached behind her, looking at her cellular phone. She clicked it off and back on again, then she stretched even further, checking the house phone for a dial tone, disappointed when she found one.

Nothing was wrong with them.

Jax just hadn't called.

They should have landed in Sydney two hours ago-and he hadn't even called. Keesha sighed deeply and picked up the phone once more, dialing. "Hi, it's Keesha...am I disturbing you...no..." she choked. "...nothing's wrong..." and the moment she said it, she started to cry.

Jane stared at her son. "So...Keesha's not coming."

"No," Jax answered simply, taking another bite of his dinner.

"She's working." Jalyn volunteered. She glanced over at Jax, sighing when he wouldn't look at her. Jax continued to stare ahead at the doorway.

"Do you want some ice cream?" John asked.

"No," Jalyn mumbled. She wasn't hungry any more.

"No what?" Jax prodded softly.

"No, thank you." She eased her way off the chair. "I wanna go."

Jax nodded, finally looking at her. Their blue eyes locked, and Jalyn smiled. "Can I call Mommy."

Jax took her hand and walked her to the phone in the kitchen. He dialed and handed it to Jalyn.

Keesha stepped away from the door, running to the phone. "Hello?"

"Hi Mommy..."

"Hi Honey..."

Jane watched as Jax left the room, not saying another word.

"...okay...honey, where's Daddy."

Jalyn looked around, noticing for the first time that Jax was no longer there. "Dunno...I..."

"That's okay. Kiss Jordan for me."

"Kay...and Daddy."

Keesha was quiet for a second. "Yes. And Daddy...okay...bye bye."

"I have to go....my daughter's here...okay..."

Keesha looked up as the door opened. "I didn't know where else to go..."

Mrs. Sellers grabbed her hand, pulling Keesha in. "You can always come here." Keesha sat down, looking around the living room as scenes flooded her mind. Laying on this very sofa, awaking to find the most beautiful blue eyes as Jax stared back at her...

Watching Jax as he slept while they waited for a delivery she had prayed would never come.

Her brown eyes darkened even further as she remembered the last big argument they had. Also in this very room. Also about the issue of control. And loneliness.

She had to agree with Jax about one thing, she thought they had gotten past that. Obviously she was wrong.

"Keesha....what happened."

"I don't know...I just..." Her eyes teared for what seemed to be the millionth time that day. "I don't think Jax and I can get past this...I really don't."

"You and Jax can get past anything," Mrs. Sellers promised as she sat down next to her. Though, the fact that Keesha of all people was here, to talk to her...Mrs. Sellers knew that this was not some ordinary argument.

"We keep dealing with the same issues over and over...obviously we never dealt with it at all."

"...I don't understand why she can't see my point." Jax finally stopped pacing the room. He looked over at his mother. "Am I being unreasonable? I don't think so...I tried Mum...I really tried to keep my thoughts to myself...but why should I have to. I don't get a say about our children, or even about her, without Keesha accusing me of being some sort of control freak. I know that is a sore spot with her, and I've spent our entire relationship being extra careful about that...but it's not good enough, and I'm tired of trying..."

Jane sighed deeply. "People say hurtful things when they argue..."

"She couldn't even tell me goodbye." Jax whispered. "I stood there, watching her say goodbye to Jay and Jordan...and she would look right at me, but it was like I wasn't even there...."

"I almost lost Jax...and I promised, that if God let Jax wake up I just wanted to spend every moment being with him...that nothing else mattered." Keesha wiped her face, standing. "But it was like I wasn't even there...I sat there saying goodbye, and he barely even acknowledged me...do you know what that felt like?"

"Keesha..."

"Do you know the last words he said to me were that for the first time, he could care less what I did. Jax could care less about me..."

"Jax loves you..."

"He didn't say that."

"Keesha you have to know that by now...."

"I love Jax...I've never loved anyone but Jax...and I thank God every day that he is still here with me...but...I'm tired...I'm tired of fighting, I'm tired of trying to run interference with everyone, I'm tired of worrying...I'm just tired. And I don't know what else to do. What else am I supposed to do?"

"What else are you supposed to do? You don't know?"

"I didn't even care that she didn't want to come to Sydney...I didn't even care, because that meant that for two weeks we won't be fighting about some psycho who happened to give birth to her..."

"Jax..."

"The thing is though, that Lark did give birth to her. And she obviously has no intention of letting Keesha go, now that she found her...for whatever reason. Lark will always be there...and I don't see how we can get past this. And it's not so much that we disagree about Lark, just more so that we disagree on how to deal with her...oh no wait...I don't get a say in that..." Jax flopped back down on the couch. "Because Keesha..." Jax lowered his voice once more. "Keesha told me that she was tired of what I thought and what I felt...my thoughts and feelings just don't matter."

Jane stood, sitting down directly across from Jax...she reached out, stroking his hair softly. "I don't matter." Jax mumbled, his eyes watering.

"Keesha loves you. She adores you..."

"Did she call looking for us?" he asked bitterly.

"Jax..."

"You want to hear my voice mail..." Jax stormed out of the room, Jane following after him.

Jalyn stood at the top of the stairs. She peaked at her father through the bars, cringing as his voice grew louder and louder.

"Jax, don't..."

"Let's see...not one message from the woman who allegedly loves me!" Jax slammed the phone.

Jalyn shook her head...why was everyone always yelling lately. Daddy had yelled at Mommy earlier in the week, and then they promised everything was okay, but that night, Jalyn had stood outside their bedroom door and inside she could hear loud, yet muffled voices...she knew they were yelling at each other again.

They never yelled before. Never.

"Jax she's angry, you're both angry...but it doesn't mean that she doesn't love you...Keesha loves you..."

"I'm supposed to care what Lark feels and thinks, yet my own wife gives a damn about me!"

"Jax..."

"And I don't want to hear that she loves me! How can you love someone who's feelings and thoughts matter far below someone you barely know...how can you love someone who's thoughts don't matter at all!"

"Stop!"

Jax looked up as Jalyn yelled at the top of her lungs.

"Please Daddy...stop..." Jalyn ran down the hall as fast as her small legs would carry her. But before she could even get to a door, Jax was holding her in his arms.

"I'm sorry..." he whispered as Jalyn cried, struggling to pull away. "Jay...I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you..." Jax tightened his hold.

"I want Mommy!" she cried.

Jax opened his eyes, sighing deeply. He didn't answer, he just continued rocking Jalyn, stroking her hair softly. He didn't know how much more of this he could take...

And as if on cue, he could hear the sounds of Jordan as he started to cry down the hall.

Jax picked Jalyn up and carried her, her sobs shaking her tiny body. He laid her gently down in his bed. "I'll be right back." he promised and ran down the hall to Jordan's room. "I can handle it..." he mumbled to his mother as she stood at the door. Jane watched for a moment and then walked down the hall, closing the door to her and John's bedroom.

"When Jax was in the hospital...you told me that you made a promise that you would not be without each other...so Keesha..."

Keesha stopped staring ahead, finally looking at Mrs. Sellers.

"Why aren't you in Sydney."

"Because it's more peaceful for him with me here."

"Jax told you that?"

"Not in words but...Jax left because he was tired of arguing. If I go, all we'll do is argue again."

"Keesha you can't work this out if you don't..."

"He didn't even call to tell me that they got there safely...he couldn't even do that." Keesha stood again. "So how do we work this out...how do we work this out when he's so sick of me he leaves the damn country...and then can't even be bothered to call!"

"So?"

"So?!"

"So. Yes, he must be angry to have left without you, and yes he must be angry to not have called. And maybe he's even sick of you right now...but I repeat...so? Jax almost died Keesha..."

Keesha closed her eyes, wincing. "I know that...I know that better than anyone..."

"Then didn't it teach you anything? If, God forbid, something happened to him, what are you going to say I didn't talk to him because he couldn't be bothered to call?"

"You don't understand." Keesha shook her head. She started to pace the room.

"I understand that he loves you. That man *lives* for you...and that's not a figure of speech. He woke up because you begged him to..."

Keesha stopped pacing, her eyes dropping to the floor.

"...That is the only reason. Jax is alive because you need him to be. So he's mad at you, so what? He'll get over it, he always does. You'll get over it, you always do. But you cannot sit here while he is all the way across the globe, just because you think that's what he wants! What he wants, is for you to be there, whether he knows it or not. So I repeat...loving Jax the way that you claim you do..."

"I do love Jax!" Keesha looked over at Mrs. Sellers once more.

"Then why aren't you in Sydney?"

"You've reached 555-2865..."

Jax sighed, looking over at Jalyn as she stared at him. Her tears had stopped long ago, but her face was so full of saddness, Jax felt completely helpless. He smiled warily and pushed her hair away from her eyes. Jordan leaned further into Jax's chest, reaching out his tiny hand. Jalyn took it.

"...leave a message...."

"Yes, Keesha, give me a call please. I..." Jax struggled, trying to find the right words. "Just...call...it's important." he hung up and tried her cellular once more.

Lark sat in Jax's and Keesha's living room. And as soon as Jax hung up, she went to the answering machine. Searching.

"Erase." she said to herself as she pressed the button. Lark left the house, using the code she watched Keesha use to get back out of the back gate.

Out of distance. Jax sighed again.

"I want Mommy." Jalyn whispered once more.

"Well, I'm sure she'll call. And then we'll see about getting her here. Okay?"

Jalyn nodded. "Can I stay?"

"With me?...sure. Go get ready for bed, and then come back."

Jalyn flashed a smile. She climbed out of the bed and ran out the room. "What about you?" Jax laid down in the bed, raising Jordan high in the air. Jordan smiled, and Jax's faded.

Jordan's smile lit up his entire face, and his brown eyes flashed with happiness...He looked so much like Keesha. Jax pulled Jordan back down and kissed his cheek.

Keesha bit her lip, leaning up against the doorway. She cursed the tears that filled her eyes once again as she continued to stare.

Jalyn yawned, nestling closer to Jax. She opened her eyes and smiled.

"Shh..." Keesha warned. Jalyn got out of the bed quietly, running over to Keesha. Keesha picked her up, leaving the doorway.

"I missed you." Jalyn hugged her mother tightly.

"I missed you too." Keesha whispered, carrying Jalyn downstairs. "You want me to fix you breakfast?"

Jalyn pulled away to look into Keesha's eyes. She nodded enthusastically as Keesha headed into the kitchen.

Jax sat up in the bed. "Jay?" he looked around. Next to the bed, Jordan's crib was empty. "Jordan..." his voice trailed. Jax hopped out of the bed, bounding down the stairs.

"...no more..." Keesha sang.

"Please," Jalyn begged for another pancake.

"You have Daddy's appetite...why don't you go wake him up."

"He's up."

Keesha froze at the deep, familar voice. She turned and looked at Jax as he stood in the doorway of the kitchen. "Hi." Keesha had to force herself to stay near the refigerator...the pull to run to Jax and tell him she was sorry, and that she missed him...

And that she loved him...

was so intense. "How long have you been standing there?" she finished with a whisper.

"Long enough." Jax continued to stare at Keesha. He wanted to go to her, and hold her, and apologize, and tell her that he loved her.

He wanted to go and look into her eyes, getting lost in them like he always had done.

But all of that would do nothing but make this worse. He knew that in his head...no matter what his heart was begging him to do.

"Are you hungry?"

"No."

"Come on...you're always hungry."

"I am not hungry."

"Honey...why don't you take Jordan to see Grandman and Grandpa on the porch." Keesha looked at Jalyn.

"'Kay," she smiled. She went behind Jordan's push carrier and started to wheel him out of the kitchen. "Hi Daddy." she grinned.

Jax smiled and bent down, kissing both of his children. He wathced as they left.

"What are you doing here?" Jax looked back at Keesha finally, his voice emotionless.

"Well..."

"Did you get my message?"

"You called?"

"Yes, I called."

"I didn't know. Why?"

"Because Jalyn is...Jalyn was in tears."

"What happened?"

"What happened...I was here, you were there...and my temper got the better of me and I was yelling. I didn't know that she was near the room...but that's not an excuse."

"Jax..."

"Again." Jax changed the subject. "Why are you here."

Keesha looked down at the floor. "Because..." she shifted nervously. "I...I thought I should be here." she offered.

"Why?" Did she know...did she know that he needed her. That he needed her with him?

"I know you don't want me here..." she paused, hoping he would tell her she was wrong. But he didn't. She started playing with her hair. "Um...but I still thought I should come."

"For Jay and Jordan?" Jax prompted.

"Well yes..." Keesha finally looked up at Jax.

Jax sighed, looking away from her. Why would he even allow himself to think she may have came for him as well. "They need you, you should be here," he nodded.

"They need me," Keesha repeated.

There was a time, not even long ago, when Jax needed her. When they needed each other. But now she was even afraid to ask him what he was thinking...what he felt. She realized she had no idea. And that scared her half to death.

"I'm going to shower." Jax mumbled.

"Okay. Are you sure you don't want anything?"

"Positive." Jax finished and Keesha listened as he ran back up the stairs.

Keesha leaned up against the refigerator.

She shouldn't have come.

Jax bent his head, letting the hot water from the shower massage against the back of his neck. Keesha was here, but he actually felt worse than he would have had she stayed in the States to begin with. At least from there, he didn't have to look at her and watch her, and wonder if she loved him enough anymore.

He didn't have to look at her, as he wondered if their marriage was over.