Keesha walked into the empty kitchen, staring at the dishes of half-eaten breakfast food. Everyone had obviously left in a rush.

What did that mean? That everyone but her knew that Jax was so miserable he had filed for a divorce?

She walked over to the high chair, picking up Jordan's bottle. Taking in a deep, shuddering breath, she held it close to her, closing her eyes.

"Keesha?"

Keesha cleared her throat, placing the bottle back on the tray. "Yes, Jax?" she replied without looking at him.

Jax watched as she went to the cabinet, opening it to get herself a glass.

"Let me explain..."

Keesha shook her head. "You filed for a divorce, Jax. I get it-I understand. I don't need the gory details, okay? Not right now..." She took another breath, absolutely refusing to cry.

At least not in front of Jax.

"Sweetheart..." Jax started towards her.

Keesha winced. "Please don't call me that. Don't make this any harder for me, please..."

Jax stopped moving.

"Thank..."

Keesha interrupted herself at the slow tearing sound which suddenly filled the room. Jax tossed the ripped up divorce decree on the ground. "Now will you look at me?"

"Delaying the inevitable is not..."

Once again Keesha quit speaking as now Jax stood directly behind her. He reached out, carefully, unsure...yet gently he placed his hands on her shoulders. Keesha didn't even notice as tears escaped her eyes.

"I love you, Keesha. I want our marriage to work; I've never wanted anything so much in my life." Jax slid his hands down her arms, managing to draw even closer, his body pressed against hers. Instinctively the tension began to leave her as her body seemed to meld into his. "I don't want to be without you...I never did. When I...," Jax couldn't even bring himself to say the words, "...did that I thought...I don't know what I thought really. I just beleived it would stop all the pain...that it would have to."

"Maybe you were right," she answered. Yet, she didn't pull away.

Jax shook his head, wrapping his arms around Keesha's waist. "I fell in love with you the moment I looked into your eyes." Gently his hands stroked her stomach. "And I will love you even after I take my last breath. Yes, we hurt each other, but how could it possibly be right to replace that pain with one that's even more unbearable." Jax buried his face against her hair. "Keesha...please..." he mumbled, tightening his grip on her.

Time seemed to stop for Jax as he held Keesha, waiting for a response...any sort of response. He wished he had been the one to tell her, he wished she had never found out like she had...that he had been able to sit her down, and tell her what he had done, and why-so they could move past it. Together. But now...in her silence, Jax feared irreperable damage had been done. That she would never forgive him for this.

How could...

"How could you do this to me?" Keesha finally spoke, finishing the thought in his head. She tore his hands from her body, whirling around and looking at Jax finally, her eyes blazing. "How could you do this to our family?!"

Jax broke eye contact, running his fingers through his hair as he looked down at the floor.

"How could you do this to us, Jax?! How..."

"I'm sorry..."

"Do you know what I feel?! Do you have any idea?! You were in so much pain...I did that to you...I never thought I could do something like that...but to make matters worse, you went ahead, without telling me and filed for a divorce! So did you want to make me hurt as badly as you did? Because you've suceeded...you've completely shattered me, broken my heart and left it to die! Then you tell me that you're sorry?!"

Jax took a deep breath, forcing himself to look at Keesha again.

And it one quick movement, she slapped him across the face.

Jax looked back at Keesha again. Both of their eyes teared as they searched each other's faces

...and then slowly Jax asked.

"Can we move past this now?"

Keesha wiped her face of her tears. Then gently she reached up, wiping the tear that fell from Jax's eyes. "How could you?...How could *I*..." she sighed. "I love you..." she whispered.

Jax clasped his hand over hers, drawing it from his face. He laced their fingers, bringing her hands to his lips, placing a kiss upon it. Keesha closed her eyes, stepping closer.

Jax wrapped his arms around Keesha, exhaling deeply as she buried her face against his chest, returning his hug tightly. "Stay here with me." he pleaded. "Just you and me...just for a little while." He kissed the top of her head. "I love you."

Keesha opened her eyes, listening to the rapid beating of Jax's heart.

Jax had hurt her in a way no one ever had...not Tiffany, not Lark...no one could have hurt her as badly as Jax had.

Because almost from the moment they had met, Jax had been the most important person in her life. Througout all of this, it had never, ever crossed her mind that she could live her life without him. And when they stood on that porch, with Lark coming betweem them, again several days ago, and Jax talked about wanting out, those two words scared her senseless. They frightened her to her very core.

Because wanting out-wanting to be away from Jax, had never, ever seemed like an option to her. She could not imagine her life without being with Jax, and she didn't want to.

Jax had stayed alive, because she begged him too.

Just in general, Jax had always stayed with her, when so many people would have left.

Because she needed him.

How could she let that go now?

"Just you and me..." Keesha agreed, closing her eyes again.

Jax rested his chin against her head, his eyes opening, his mind racing.

He had became too good at convincing himself that he would be able to make it through his life without her. She had hurt him; to him she had seemed to choose a woman she barely knew over him...over the family they had made together. And he had convinced himself that if necessary he would be able to make it without her.

That he could control his feelings, and just let her go if that was the way it was going to be.

Jax came to Australia, convincing himself, as well as Keesha, that he wanted to be away from her.

When that was a lie. When what he wanted was for her to refuse to let him go without her.

When she did come, Jax convinced himself, as well as Keesha, that it didn't really matter...that he could easily accept that she wasn't here for him.

When that was a lie. When what he wanted was for her to tell him that she loved him, and that she missed him, and that she came so they could be together.

When he sat in that courthouse, filling out the divorce papers, he had convinced himself that things were over between them, and he was just doing what he should. To stop them both from hurting each other anymore.

He convinced himself he could be without her.

When that was a lie. He could never be without Keesha, and be happy.

He needed her. And he had spent so much time trying to convince her it was okay for her to need him, he had never really realized just how much he needed her as well. He had never really allowed himself to.

But he did need her-and he wouldn't have it any other way.

And now, they would work through their pain. Not apart, but together.

Jax closed his eyes once more as Keesha stroked his back lightly.

And by the time they went back home, no one, including Lark, would ever come between them again.