Scene 16



'Hurry, Sir Launcelot. Hurry!'



     [inside castle] 
PRINCESS LUCKY and GIRLS: 
     [giggle giggle giggle] 
                             
     [outside castle] 
GUEST: 
     'Morning! 
SENTRY #1: 
     'Morning. 
SENTRY #2: 
     Oooh. 
SENTRY #1: 
     [ptoo] 
LAUNCELOT: 
     Ha ha! Hiyya! 
SENTRY #2: 
     Hey! 
LAUNCELOT: 
     Hiyya!, Ha!, etc. 
                             
PRINCESS LUCKY and GIRLS: 
     [giggle giggle giggle] 
LAUNCELOT: 
     Ha ha! Huy! 
GUESTS: 
     Uuh! Aaah! 
LAUNCELOT: 
     Ha ha! And take this! Aah! Hiyah! Aah! Aaah! Hyy! Hya! Hiyya! Ha!... 
GUARD #1: 
     Now, you're not allowed to enter the room-- aaugh! 
LAUNCELOT: 
     O fair one, behold your humble servant, Sir Launcelot of Camelot. I have come to take y--
     Oh, I'm terribly sorry. 
HERBERT: 
     You got my note! 
LAUNCELOT: 
     Uh, well, I-- I got a-- a note. 
HERBERT: 
     You've come to rescue me! 
LAUNCELOT: 
     Uh, well, no. You see, I hadn't-- 
HERBERT: 
     I knew someone would. I knew that somewhere out there... 
     [music] 
LAUNCELOT: 
     Well, I-- 
HERBERT: 
     ...there must be... someone... 
FATHER: 
     Stop that! Stop that! Stop it! Stop it! Who are you? 
HERBERT: 
     I'm your son! 
FATHER: 
     No, not you. 
LAUNCELOT: 
     Uh, I am Sir Launcelot, sir. 
HERBERT: 
     He's come to rescue me, Father. 
LAUNCELOT: 
     Well, let's not jump to conclusions. 
FATHER: 
     Did you kill all those guards? 
LAUNCELOT: 
     Uh... Oh, yes. Sorry. 
FATHER: 
     They cost fifty pounds each! 
LAUNCELOT: 
     Well, I'm awfully sorry. Um, I really can explain everything. 
HERBERT: 
     Don't be afraid of him, Sir Launcelot. I've got a rope all ready. 
                             
FATHER: 
     You killed eight wedding guests in all! 
LAUNCELOT: 
     Well, uh, you see, the thing is, I thought your son was a lady. 
FATHER: 
     I can understand that. 
HERBERT: 
     Hurry, Sir Launcelot! Hurry! 
FATHER: 
     Shut up! You only killed the bride's father, that's all! 
LAUNCELOT: 
     Well, I really didn't mean to... 
FATHER: 
     Didn't mean to?! You put your sword right through his head! 
LAUNCELOT: 
     Oh, dear. Is he all right? 
FATHER: 
     You even kicked the bride in the chest! This is going to cost me a fortune! 
LAUNCELOT: 
     Well, I can explain. I was in the forest, um, riding north from Camelot, when I got this note,
     you see-- 
FATHER: 
     Camelot? Are you from, uh, Camelot? 
HERBERT: 
     Hurry, Sir Launcelot! 
LAUNCELOT: 
     Uh, I am a Knight of King Arthur, sir. 
FATHER: 
     Very nice castle, Camelot. Uh, very good pig country. 
LAUNCELOT: 
     Is it? 
HERBERT: 
     Hurry! I'm ready! 
FATHER: 
     Would you, uh, like to come and have a drink? 
LAUNCELOT: 
     Well, that-- that's, uh, awfully nice of you,... 
HERBERT: 
     I am ready! 
LAUNCELOT: 
     ...um, I mean to be so understanding. 
     [thonk] 
     Um,... 
     [woosh] 
HERBERT: 
     Oooh! 
LAUNCELOT: 
     ...I'm afraid when I'm in this idiom, I sometimes get a bit, uh, sort of carried away. 
FATHER: 
     Oh, don't worry about that. 
HERBERT: 
     Oooh! 
     [splat]