I don't know what to say,
I don't know who to blame,
For making me feel this way.
I don't know who to hit,
I don't know if I should cry,
For feeding me such a lie.
The one truth in my life,
Taken away,
The one feeling I have,
Ends when you say,
Absolutely nothing.
You nod as a response,
As a type of protection,
Trying to hide the fact,
You feel such affection.
For a woman to me unknown.
How bad is this?
I talk to you like you're real,
Like you're here in my life.
How stupid is this?
I call you a bastard,
And claim it was you who lied.
The more I write,
The cornier it gets,
But I go on anyway.
The more I think
The stranger it seems,
But I do it anyway.
Show me the meaning of being lonely,
You tell that to me,
When I should be asking you.
The things I feel,
The words I say,
That I know will never be true.
So now I end this thought,
This flow of vacant words,
That can never express,
The feelings that cannot be heard.
~~~May/June, 1999~~~
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