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A Modest Proposal

by

William L. J. Galaini

     WWJD?  You've seen the bracelets, the key chains, the T-shirts, the hats, the banners, and so forth and so on.  I have seen such apparel on the young church going crowd and as a humble suggestion, I would like to say that I feel they haven't explored the potential of this catchy little phrase.  So, with my vast imagination, I wish to make some ideas of mine apparent to those who wish to spread the 'good word.'

     Thongs.  Why stop at 'WWJD' shirts and necklaces? Show your belief inside and out with this sexy little expression of faith. However, let us not limit ourselves to just articles of clothing!  How about 'WWJD' birth control pills and condemns?  I think a 'WWJD' bumper sticker with a rebel flag would bring much convenience to many.  You've heard about WWF and WCW, right?  How about a 'WWJD' Smack Down? 

     But wait!  What about the toys?  Why limit our advertising ability to just Jesus?  We're leaving out so many other divine influences.  Don't they need some of the same flattery that Jesus is receiving?  For instance, a John the Baptist action figure with detachable head and silver platter accessory would be a great holiday gift for any pious child.  How about a Judas dartboard? And for the girls, an easy bake Joan of Arc.  I don't know about you, but my roommate and I would have hours of fun with the 'Crusades' strategy board game.

     So, what would Jesus really do? From my standpoint, he would be disappointed.  However, if he were anything like his followers in question, he would hire a lawyer and get his share of the pie, which he has been denied.

 

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