Chris Marsh

"Somebody's Dialing Me"

a telephone satire based on Rockwell's "Somebody's Watching Me"

January, 1991

A hilarious February 1991 Shepherd College Christian Student Union skit on videotape

I am just an average man

with a touch-tone phone

all the trouble it would give me

if only I had known

All I want in life is to relax

without telephones, modems, or fax

but I never have any peace

because the telephone calls never cease


I always feel like somebody's dialing me

and I never have any privacy

I need some caller ID

it makes me just want to scream


When I come home at five

I sit down and revive

People call me on the phone I try to forget

Can they really see me or am I all wet?

When I am in my room I am afraid to go to bed

I might close my eyes and miss what would have been said

AT&T says we should "reach out and touch"

but Gallup polls at 3 AM is truly too much

That's why....


I always feel like somebody's dialing me

and I never have privacy

I always feel like somebody's dialing me

Tell me it is just a bad dream


Who's dialing me?

I don't know any more! Are credit-card companies calling me?

(who's dialing?) Or is the neighborhood brat calling me?

(dialing who's dialing?) I don't feel secure any more, and it is

making me nervous. I wonder who is trying to call me now? (Who?)

Selective Service!


I always feel like somebody's dialing me

Tell me it is just a bad dream

I always feel like somebody's dialing me

It just makes me want to scream

I always feel like somebody's dialing me

getting calls from people I cannot see

I always feel like somebody's dialing me

Oh tell it me can't be....

I always feel like somebody's dialing me

Let's have some privacy

I always feel like somebody's dialing me

I need some caller ID

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