"Surgeon General's Warning: Quitting Religion Now Greatly Increases the Chances of World Peace."
"Power Corrupts;
"God bless Atheism!"
"If the Bible proves that God exists, than comic books prove the existence of Superman."
"In the beginning, there was nothing. God said 'Let there be light.' And there was still nothing, but now you could see it."
"What Would Jesus Do?"
"Properly read, the Bible is the most potent force for atheism ever conceived."
"Jesus Christ: A common exclamation indicating surprise, disgust, anger or bewilderment."
"If a person's personal religious beliefs are sacred, they should not be peddled door to door like Girl Scout Cookies."
"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning."
Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Think about it, religion has actually convinced people that there's an INVISIBLE MAN...LIVING IN THE SKY...who watches everything you do, every minute of everyday. And the invisible man has a list of ten special things that he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time... BUT.. he loves you.He loves you, and he NEEDS MONEY!”
"I'm looking for loopholes."
"-When I was a kid, I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized that the Lord, in his wisdom, didn't work that way. So I just stole one and asked him to forgive me."
"Thou shall not kill. Thou shall not commit adultery. Don't eat pork. I'm sorry, what was that last one?? Don't eat pork. God has spoken. Is that the word of God or is that pigs trying to outsmart everybody?"
"Sects, sects, sects... Is that all you monks think about?"
"I've found Him -- I have Jesus in my trunk!"
"Jesus Saves -- passes to Moses, shoots, SCORES!"
Hobbes: "Do you think there's a God?"
"To *you* I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition."
"Instead of school busing and prayer in school, which are both controversial, why not a joint solution? Prayer in buses. Just drive these kids around all day and let them pray their fuckin' empty little heads off."
"Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company."
"So you're a god, eh? Very nice, very nice. But, you still don't have a reservation..."
