It's true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure why take the chance? Ronald Reagan
When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. I'm beginning to believe it. Clarence Darrow
Lawyers, I suppose, were children once. Charles Lamb
A liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel. Robert Frost
I love being a writer. What I can't stand is the paperwork. Peter de Vries
I have long been of the opinion that if work were such a splendid thing the rich would have kept more of it for themselves. Bruce Grocott
Man does not live by words alone, despite the fact that he sometimes has to eat them. Adlai Stevenson
It is always the best policy to speak the truth - unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar. Jerome K. Jerome
The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep. Woody Allen
People say that life is the thing, but I prefer reading. Logan Pearsall Smith
A bore is a man who, when you ask him how he is, tells you. Bert Leston Taylor
I hate to spread rumours, but what else can one do with them? Amanda Lear
The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers. William Shakespeare King Henry VI, Pt.2
I have tried too in my time to be a philosopher; but, I don't know how, cheerfulness was always breaking in. Oliver Edwards
A good politician is as unthinkable as an honest burglar. H.L. Mencken
He knows nothing; and he thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career. George Bernard Shaw
I always have a quotation for everything - it saves original thinking. Dorothy L. Sayers
[On Spanish troops in Cuba]: I make no reflection on their courage, but they are well-versed in the art of retreat. Winston Churchill
If you haven't got anything good to say about anyone come and sit by me. Alice Roosevelt Longworth
Better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt. Mark Twain
A baby: A loud noise at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other. Ronald Knox
Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic. Anonymous
“Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.” Winston Churchill
“When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.” Henny Youngman
“To be a leader, sometimes you have to turn your back on the crowd.” Unknown
“If at first you don’’t succeed, reload and try again.” Geoff Wood
“To be good is noble, but to teach others to be good is nobler and less trouble.” Mark Twain
“You shouldn’’t compare yourself to others, they are more screwed up than you think.” Unknown
“Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn’’t have to do it himself.” Earl Wilson
“I know there’’s a balance, I see it every time I swing past.” John Mellencamp
“If at first you don’’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.” Geoff Wood
“Individuality is fine, as long as we all do it together.” Major Frank Burns (#4077th M.A.S.H.)
“Who’’s more foolish, the fool or the fool who follows him?” Obi Wan Kenobi
“Nobody should take life too seriously because nobody outlives it.” Warren Miller
“Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.” Dilbert
“Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.” Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, D.C.
“You shouldn’’t let all the wrong in the world bother you, because chances are you don’’t know the half of it.” Megan Weilacher
“No matter what I do, someone is going to hate me for it, so I might as well do it anyways.” Thomas Shank
“Be nice to your kids. They’’ll choose your nursing home.” Mike Elliott
“If you understood everything I said, you’’d be me.” Miles Davis
“Most of us are just about as eager to be changed as we were to be born, and go through our changes in a similar state of shock.” James Baldwin
“Is there any way I can get it off my fingers quickly, without betraying my cool exterior?” Agent Fox Mulder
“The problem with tolerance is that you have to tolerate the intolerant as well.” G. M. Weilacher
“We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?” Bob Fuss
“I acknowledge the existence of a higher power, and have therefore installed surge suppressors.” Rick Auricchio
I love California. I pratically grew up in Phoenix. --Quayle
It isn't pollution that's harming our environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it. --Quayle
It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago... --Quayle
A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on. --Samuel Goldwyn
The Internet is a great way to get on the Net. --Bob Dole
I have many opinions -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them. --George Bush
Please provide the date of your death. --From an IRS letter
They X-rayed my head and found nothing. --Jerome "Dizzy" Dean
Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are. --Anon
We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need? --Lee Iacocca
What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death. Dave Barry
Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it. Dave Barry
You wouldn't recognize a *subtle plan* if it painted itself purple, and danced naked upon a harpsichord, singing, 'Subtle Plans are Here Again'. Edmund Blackadder
I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it. Garrison Keilor
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation. H. H. Munro (Saki)
I have often wished I had time to cultivate modesty . . . but I am too busy thinking about myself. Edith Sidwell
I've been trying for some time to develop a lifestyle that doesn't require my presence. Gary Trudeau
All my life I wanted to be someone; I guess I should have been more specific. Jane Wagner
