What does this red button do?
Was today really Necessary?
What's the worst that could happen?
What color is a chameleon on a mirror?
Why get even, when you can get odd?
With friends like these, who needs to hallucinate?
If you tell a joke in the forest and nobody laughs, was it a joke?
If a man says something in the forest and a woman isn't there, is he still wrong?
I'm out of bed and dressed. What more do you want?
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
If I am not for myself, who is for me? And if I am only for myself, what am I? If not now--When?- Hillel
And which dwarf are you?
Is there any truth to the rumor that everything is really okay?
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the morning?
What do you plant to grow a seedless watermelon?
Why do you park in a driveway and drive on a parkway?
We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?
Is it possible to feel gruntled?
If you didn't get caught, did you really do it?
Is "tired old cliche" one?-Steven Wright
Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
If a 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the radio volume?
After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?
Are there any unguided missiles?
Day light savings time - why are they saving it and where do they keep it?
Do files get embarrassed when they get unzipped?
Do steam rollers really roll steam?
Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter? - Steven Wright
Ever notice how irons have a setting for "permanent" press? I don't get it. - Steven Wright
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
How can someone "draw a blank"?
How come wrong numbers are never busy?
How come wrong numbers are never busy?
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
How is it possible to have a "civil" war?
How is it possible to run out of space?
If a fly has no wings would you call him a walk?
If a mime commits suicide, does he use a silencer? - Steven Wright
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
If God can do anything, can he make a rock so big he can't lift it? - George Carlin
If man evolved from apes why do we still have apes? - Dennis Miller
If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
If tin whistles are made out of tin, what do they make fog horns out of?
If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
