Diary of a Cat
DAY 752: My captors continue to taunt me with
bizarre little dangling
objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while
I am forced to eat dry
cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is
the hope of escape, and the
mild satisfaction I get from ruining the
occasional piece of furniture.
Tomorrow, I may eat another houseplant.
DAY 761: Today, my attempt to kill my captors by
weaving around their feet
while they were walking almost succeeded...must
try this at the top of the
stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse
these vile oppressors, I once
again induced myself to vomit on their favorite
chair...must try this on
their bed.
DAY 762: Slept all day so that I could annoy my
captors with sleep-depriving,
incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the
night.
DAY 765: Decapitated a mouse and brought them the
headless body in attempt to
make them aware of what I am capable of and to
try to strike fear into their
hearts. They only cooed and condescended about
what a 'good little cat' I
was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.
DAY 768: I am finally aware of how sadistic they
are. For no good reason, I
was chosen for the water torture. This time,
however, it included a burning,
foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds
could invent such a liquid?
My only consolation is the piece of thumb still
stuck between my teeth.
DAY 771: There was some sort of gathering of
their accomplices. I was placed
in solitary throughout the event. However, I
could hear the noise and smell
the foul odor of the glass tubes they call
"beer." More importantly, I
overheard that my confinement was due to MY power
of "allergies." Must learn
what this is and how to use it to my advantage.
DAY 774: I am convinced the other captives are
flunkies and may be snitches.
The dog is routinely released and seems more than
happy to return. He is
obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other
hand, has got to be an
informant. He has mastered their frightful
tongue (something akin to mole
speak) and speaks with them regularly. I am
certain he reports my every
move. Due to his current placement in the metal
room, his safety is assured.
But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...
back to list o' stuff
meow
