no plot, just for....fun?
[Sy’s bedroom, on the heavily carpeted floor. Sy & Jim are trying to
get freaky]
Jim- Oh, Sy, you don’t know how long I’ve wanted to touch you.
Sy- Oh, Jim, you don’t know how long I’ve wanted you to touch me.
Jim- Oh, Sy,
let me touch you.
Sy- Hell, no, bitch, you’re 10 years older ‘n me!
Jim- So?!
Sy- You’re a pedophile, Jim, and we both know it.
Jim- Sy, we love each other! It
shouldn’t make any difference!
Sy- Jim, you’s an ass.
Jim- So...
Sy- Let's go.
Jim- Ok.
[Sy & Jim start wrestling, when there’s a knock on the
door]
Sy- Go away! We’re...uh, I’m working!
[Jim bites Sy’s neck, Sy grabs his butt]
Veronica- [talking through door] Carnival’s a comin’!
Sy- Say what?! Is that
nice man with the tall black hat comin' too?
Veronica- Yeah! I was just talking
to him, the bastard pinched my butt!
Sy- Is he here?
Veronica- Uh-huh, he’s in the
living room...[yelling] Hey, you! Skank with the big hat! Get your hands off the
sheepdog!! [pause] EEEWWW!!!!!
[footsteps quickly leaving]
Jim- Ah, now where were
we...
Sy- You was bitin' my neck.
Jim- Ah, yes... [bites Sy’s neck]
Sy- OW!!!
Jim- Hnuh?
Sy- Your teeth are SHARP!!
Jim- You were wondering how your nail files got
so dull. Ya know,you taste pretty good...[licks slowly down Sy’s body, pauses in a low place, determining how to get a good tongue-hold]
Sy- [totally distracted, lost in thought] Hey, while you’re down there....think you could
pierce my belly button?
Jim- Bitch.
(optional)[ceiling collapses]
[At the carnival, Sy, Blanche, Veronica, & Pepper Annie are trying to have fun.]
Blanche- This carnival sucks.
Pepper Annie- It’s better than last year’s.
Veronica- Last year’s was better than this.
Sy- You were at the carnival for a total of 5 minutes, then you joined the man with the tall hat in his
trailer and weren’t seen until the next morning.
Veronica- He was showing me his
stamp collection.
Blanche- Shut up, Veronica. Don’t even try. We know what you
were doing. Anyway, I don’t care, remember, I got hooked up with the bearded lady.
Pepper Annie- [sarcastically] Of course we’re all DYING of jealousy.
Blanche- Shhhhuuuddup! It was a man anyway. A skinny one. With a light beard.
Sy-[wistfully] If only I could be like you.
Blanche- You would be one happy gal.
Sy- I would.
[pale, weak-looking peanut vendor trundles by, rolling his cart]
Peanut Vendor- Peeeaaaanuts! Fresh and, uh, crunchy!...[trundles by,still yelling]
Pepper Annie- [enthusiastically] He looks HOT! [yelling after him] I want some peanuts!![runs after him]
Blanche- What a dork.
Sy- He had cool shoes. I saw them. They was preeetty.
Veronica- I bet.
Sy- They were!!
Veronica- Of course they were.
Sy- You always make fun of me!! [bursts into tears and runs into a carnival tent]
Blanche- Veronica, that was mean. You totally just burst her little bubble. That’s 3 years of therapy,
minimum.
Veronica- She’ll be ok.
Blanche- Do you remember what happened last time
she ran off like that?
Veronica- She was alright.
Blanche- She was huddled in a garbage can wearing a green raincoat with bullet holes in it! And she was
strokin' and talkin' to that dead goldfish she named Albert!
Veronica- She was ok
after we took away the fish.
Blanche- She started shooting at you with an
imaginary slingshot.
Veronica- Oh yeah. I took her out with my imaginary ray gun.
Blanche- Handy, them thangs.
[they stop at a fun house]
Blanche- Wanna go in?
Veronica- It looks scary.
Blanche- It’s a fun house. A fun house is a house
that is fun.
Veronica- Oh, ok. Let’s go.
[They go in. Veronica is jiggling with
excitement]
[Pepper Annie is walking with the peanut vendor, whose name is Mike Bob, Bob is his
last name.]
Pepper Annie- So...read any good books lately?
Mike- I cain't read.
Pepper Annie- Oh.
[they walk in silence for a little while]
Pepper Annie- Can I have some more peanuts?
Mike- Five dollars for the 2 ounce bag.
Pepper Annie- [obviously excited at the bargain] Okay!!
Mike- Here. [hands her the bag,
takes Pepper Annie's money. Mike swallows the money.]
Pepper Annie- So where are we going?
Mike- [points left] That way.
Pepper Annie- [walking left, suddenly realizes Mike
is going right,and at a good pace] Hey! Wait! I want some more peanuts!
[Mike is running now, the cart is shaking, the sign that says"Peanuts" falls off]
Pepper Annie- I WANT SOME MORE PEANUTS!!!
back to Beaver's Creek
tell me about your goldfish
