Beaver's Creek People
Blanche- A short 17 year old super-druggie, slut, with an amazing temper. She is married to Johnny’s corpse, and finds it romantic. She's having an affair with Veronica, is on welfare, eats meal
tickets, drinks, smokes, lives in a shack, and has 57 children. She runs the general store; the merchandise is mostly from the dump.
Johnny- A Native American man with a cockney accent. Married to Blanche. Stays in the closet. Is usually dead, and smells awful.
Veronica- A 15 year old druggie, drunk, slut, chews tobacco, lives in shack next to the creek, never seems to leave the creek but always has some stupid story to tell about things that don’t make sense, and gives advice. Married to Billy Bro Rev. Joe, and daughter of Biff and Milli. Tall, busty blonde.
Pepper Annie- A 15 year old hairdresser, washes hair in creek. Stands about 5'2, has freckles and is rather plump. Likes to run people over, shout at them, and then shoot at them. Mom is from suburbs.
Sy- 15 year old subconscious poser, tries to be conservative but does
not always succeed, likes to drink salad dressing, impressed by TV,
washes laundry in creek.
Wide pants underneath short, stained white petticoat, tank top
and funky jacket. Has a nice house, a pea-shooter, and a sheepdog named Charlie/Chicken/Jeff.
Beaver- Gay, thinks Veronica is a boy and has a crush on her, sleeps in
creek, water boy, brings creek water to town. Short, skinny guy. He does not appear to have a job and has a pet beaver. He is married to Colby yet having an
affair with Betty. He has buck teeth and wild hair that is never brushed.
Billy Bro Rev. Joe- Likes chickens in a SPECIAL way, married to Veronica, is the local reverend,
and is jealous of Johnny. His life is rather short lived, but he seems to not die. A dork in a robe.
Jim- Sy's cousin, boyfriend, roomate. Likes chilli dogs, wants to get laid, thinks feet are cool. Tall with muscles and brown, Jewish hair.
Harry- Rather cute middle Eastern-looking Jew guy who fishes in the creek, always asks Veronica for worms. Very stupid. His motives are normally
sexually innovated. Short with poofy hair with creek scum in it.
Colby- Gay 15 year old, lives in swamp, eats crap, likes frogs, puts their tadpoles in
creek, is Beaver’s boyfriend. Very conservative, afraid of being wild. Fairly spineless and stupid. Tall and light blond.
Freddie- A 10 year old, has a disease and he looks 17, will die when he
is 20, he doesn’t
like girls; he thinks girls have cooties. Pepper Annie makes him nice
food. Short with brown hair and goofy smile.
Sally Joan- Believes in the Magical Blue Turtle, gets things from the dump for Blanche. She's with Sam, but cheats on him with Sammie. She is dense.
Joe- Odd man who comes to the Moldy Lizard to drink.
Sammie- Lesbian. Hates men, and is with Sally Joan.
Sunny- Stalks Betty. She always carries a large axe.
Farmer Cubbins- An 80 year old punk rocker wannabe who raises chickens.
Lucy- Blanche's 18 year old daughter. Somewhat normal.
Rosie- Perfect prophet.
Ni Ni- Slut prophet.
Nisi- Angry prophet.
back to Beaver's Creek
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