The hermit speak not of love nor hate. He could be someone that once was loved and to love. Now he rather pushes it away. He could be the nerd from school who had his heart crushed so many times so he stopped counting. He could be the boy next door who had his heart torned apart when she left him and he stopped going on loving.
I learnt something from the hermit. He told me "if you don't want to be push away, first you got to push it away". But what does all these mean, does he meant to tell me you push it away without knowing if it's gonna push you away? I search the clueless room for answer and it came to me. What he wanted to tell me was "why love when you don't know what it is?" Is this what he meant?
The hermit lived in mysterious ways. I once saw him drown his sorrow in a bottle, he told me to drink it and all your memories will disappear. I watched him drank his bottle but not daring to drink it because i don't know what it is. He called it "dream magic". I asked him does he remember how we met and he told me that he know me well but don't know how we met. I asked him does he remember the one he loved and he told me "i know she's there but i can't feel anything towards her".
I watched him sitting there, staring into nothing. The next day, he does the same thing. I once saw him sitting, staring into a bird cage. I asked him why do you keep on staring at it and he told me "i don't know but it's in my memory". Later on i found out why he stared into that empty cage. That once was a cage for two love birds, the one he got from her on his birthday.
One time i was daring enough to take a drink out of his bottle. It was a sad day, one of those day where everything seem sad and quiet for no apparent reason. I know why it's called "dream magic" now. Everything around me seem to died and everything become blackness. The hurt inside disappeared and my feelings....i don't feel anything.
I haven't seen the hermit for a
long time now. Some told me he went off somewhere and some told me he drown
in the sea where he used to sit endlessly staring into nothing. His words
still rings in my head "if you don't want to be push away, first you got
to push it away". Now i know what he meant, it wasn't in riddle form. He
meant "if you don't want to be rejected first you got to reject it yourself".
If you've pushed it away before it hurt you, you wouldn't have been hurt
at the start. But does it really meant that??????
