The fire was burning down and the family had gathered. "Tell a story Grandfather." Ferret asked.

The old man grinned, " I think it is Dove’s turn to pick a story. Which story would you like Dove?"

Dove grinned shyly, " Tell the story of Sad Eyes Grandfather."

As he started the children settled down. Vin lay stomach down with another hot poultice on his back. His eyes half shut as he listened to the story.

"Whenever you hear the early morning call of the Deer Dance Ceremony you are hearing the echo of a song once sung to the deer by a boy who loved them.’

It was pinion-harvesting time, and everyone in the village was camping on the high mesa near Puye. Men, women, and children started out early at dawn. A girl among them was expecting a child, and being young and inexperienced, she wandered deep into the woods, and thee she bore her son. Frightened, she made her way back to camp but could not remember which direction she had taken, and although a search was made the child could not be found.

A family of deer came down to the canyon to drink at evening time. Father deer was leading as usual, with mother following, then the young one. The old buck sensed something strange, and after sniffing the air he approached a clump of bushes, where he found the little human boy. He called the other two deer and they all sniffed the child and licked him with their tongues. Mother deer said she would nurse the boy, and while she fed him she began to love this little human child and made plans to carry him home. This she did by laying him across the father deer’s antlers, and in this manner they carried him with them wherever they wandered.

As time went by the child grew and was happy with life. He was as wild as the animals and as swift-footed. He knew he was different but did not know how he came to be so. He understood the ways of the deer, for he was one of them. He knew the changes of the seasons and became aware of the dangers around him.

One year, when the leaves had changed and fallen, he was saddened for the first time in his life, because his deer brother whom he loved very much was missing. He went to look for his brother, and during his search he came near a camp where he saw being like himself sitting around a fire, making noises. He could not understand why they sat so close to the fire, for to him fire was dangerous! He heard one of them lifting his voice above the others, and it made him want to do the same thing. He tried it, but he was heard and seen by the men, and soon he was running through the thicket to escape, which e did easily by outrunning his pursuers.

When he came back to the cave where he lived he told Father and Mother Deer what he had seen, and tried to sing the song. Although they did not understand him, they listened and approved. It became a familiar sound to them to hear the boy sing as he rode on the back of the father deer.

At the village there was excitement at the news the men told of seeing a wild boy in the woods. It was decided to hunt him down, as he might have been the cause of their many hunting failures the past few seasons. The first tries were disappointing: they could not locate the boy or even a deer. At last they encircled the water hole and sat in wait for the deer to come for their daily drink. They heard singing and saw a heard of deer coming, with the boy riding on the back of the biggest and oldest buck in the herd!

As the boy jumped off and lay flat on the ground to drink, the hunters closed in and captured him. They took him to the village and locked him in a room with a very small opening, and he was bewildered and very frightened.

He could not eat the food given him. All his life he had eaten roots, berries, and nuts and had drunk milk from mother deer with new fawns. His stomach pained, but still he would not eat. His eyes grew sadder every day.

One evening he heard voices as a woman outside his room begged the guard to allow her to see the boy. At first the guard would not listen, and became angry with her, and pushed her out of the way. She fell, and her eyes filled with tears. Her eyes had such sadness in them, the guard felt very sorry he had been brutal, and he helped her up and let her enter the room, with a last warning that the boy was wild and might harm her.

As she entered she saw the boy crouching in a corner and she knelt beside him and studied his features. A deep feeling drew her to him, but when she lifted her hand to touch him he sprang out of reach. As they gazed steadily at one anther, the sadness in his eyes seemed to be asking something of her. She knew the strange boy was miserable, and she smiled gently at him. His expression did not change, but after a time he did not seem to be afraid of her.

After that, the woman was allowed to stay with the boy. She made him sandals, and a kilt, and when she dressed him she was pleased to see he was a handsome young man. She showed him how to tan animal hides and to use the bone awl and sinews of the animals for sewing. She made a quiver out of the skin of a lynx, taught him how to make arrows with flint tips, and brought him a bow. He even learned to say a few words, just as he had learned from the deer their way of talking.

Hs sometimes smiled at the woman now, but his eyes did not lose their sadness. Most of the day he stood at the small window humming his song, looking up at the fog clouds, the cloud flowers, on top of the mountain. Slowly the woman came to know he would never be happy with people. She thought of how she herself had often gone alone to the mountain and found peace there, feeling near to the Great One as she listened to the mountain’s breath sound. She promised herself that when the time was right she would help the boy find his way back where he belonged.

In the mountains the deer had missed the boy, too. In dangerous attempts to find him some had lost their lives. As time passed they thought his life, too, must have been lost, and more sadness came into their eyes.

One day the woman was allowed to take the boy for a walk, that belief being that he had forgotten the deer. They walked toward the mountains, the boy’s hand held tightly in hers, and when they turned to come back she saw the boy’s eyes fill with tears. "Ahi, ahi, what can I do," she chanted softly, and she let his hand go. As he walked away from her he was singing his song, and the woman knew this time it was for her.

Now it is she who looks from her window up at the mountain, but her eyes are not sad. She has just finished a water jug, on it a new design, "The House of the Deer". To her it means the dwelling place of the spirit deer, a place where he has eternal freedom, and this brings her happiness for the strange boy."

Grandfather looked around the campfire at his listeners stopping briefly at Dove and then looking at the hooded sky colored eyes. He sent a small smile to his granddaughter understanding why this story was the one she’d requested.

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Josiah and Chris rode early the next morning. Heading in the direction of the travois ruts. It was their only clue and there was no better choice. They came across a campground. Looking around they found nothing of interest and kept going.

It was early afternoon when they came upon the camp of the three cowboys. "Hello the camp." Josiah called out.

"Come on in." Was the answer. "Want some coffee?"

Josiah took off his hat and wiped his face with his sleeve. "That would be mighty welcome friend." He dismounted and walked to the fire. Chris followed quietly watching the three. They each poured a cup and squatted down.

"Hot day."

"Yep."

"We’re looking for a friend. Longhaired fella, buckskins, might be hurt. Might have past this way."

Tommy Jo shook his head. "We ain’t seen nobody ‘cept that Indian family. Old man and a woman it was. Had a young man with them, but he wern’t right in the head. Saw them couple days ago. They was headin’ north east."

Josiah nodded, " That all, no kids?"

"Not that we seen, course they coulda been hidin’. The young fella come from off to the side, really surprised us. Couldn’t walk good. Started screamin’ and callin’ us names. Sounded like ‘devils’ or somethin’. Like I said he wern’t right. We rode away. Ain’t seen nobody else."

Chris took another swallow and stood. "Thanks for the coffee fellas. Josiah?" He turned abruptly and mounted.

"Thanks, we’re uh, looking for his brother, been missing a couple of weeks." With that Josiah turned and mounted, earning a glare for Larabee. Josiah raised an eyebrow, "No call to be unfriendly, Chris."

They rode on is silence for a while. "You think that could have been Vin?"

"Don’t know. Don’t see how but it’s all we got." Chris wouldn’t look at Josiah, " I just got a gut feeling this is the way to go."

"It’s ok, Chris. I do believe in your ‘gut feelings’. We’ll go this way as long as we have to."

They rode on in silence. Josiah was beginning to wish one of the others were with them. Chris didn’t seem so quite when there was someone else to talk to. He started praying as they rode, praying that they would find Vin soon but also that he’d know what to do to say to Chris. They man was a simmering volcano. The longer it took to find some kind of answers the worse the explosion would be when it happened. And Josiah knew it would happen, the question was when and how.

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In the darkness Chris reached for his saddlebags. There were a couple of bottles of whisky hidden inside them. Wrapped in his extra pair of long johns. Josiah didn’t know about them He’d managed to stay away from it this long. But the siren call was too strong tonight. Josiah slept in exhaustion but sleep wouldn’t come to the man in black. His clothes matched his mood and his emotions. He pulled one bottle out and looked at it. Then opening it he smelt the whisky inside. Rubbing his thumb over the mouth of the bottle he knew that if he started he wouldn’t stop until the whole bottle was gone. ‘Till he was so drunk that the pain stopped too, then he could sleep. Then he would not dream. Then those he’d lost wouldn’t haunt him. Then the Texan would leave him the hell alone. Chris took a long gulping drink.

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From a distance Chris could see three boys playing off to the side of the lodge, two younger ones and an older boy. There was a girl and a woman by the campfire while an older man sat in the shade of the lodge watching. Once again Chris was grateful that it was Josiah that was with him. Josiah usually managed to communicate with everyone somehow.

As they rode down Chris’ eyes were again drawn to the boys. They had stopped playing and stared at him then they scurried away like a covey of quail. Chris frowned, there was something about that older boy, but he couldn’t see him clearly enough to really see his face.

They rode closer to the lodge carefully approaching in a non-threatening manner, with Josiah in the lead ready to talk to the elder. As Josiah started talking Chris stood slightly behind him. His attention wondered, only to be brought back by Peso pulling on the lead rope. Before Chris could tighten his grip the big gelding pulled free and whinnying trotted toward the direction the boys had disappeared. "Peso!" Chris shouted and started after him.

Peso trotted to the edge of the arroyo and whinnying again jumped down. When Chris showed up Peso had his head down pushing against the chest of the older boy who was scratching between his ears. Chris wasn’t sure what to do, he didn’t want to scare the boys but he did want to get Peso back.

Approaching slowly speaking softly he said, "I’m sorry he got away."

At the sound of his voice the boy spun around, his whole body tense to run, terror written on his face. Then blue eyes meet green, and breathing stopped.

Before Chris could move he was gone, the two smaller boys standing before him as if to block his way. "Vin?" Chris whispered.

Shaking the shock away Chris looked around "Vin!" he shouted looking past the boys desperately seeking the Tracker. "Vin!?" Had he imagined it? Had that instant of recognition been truly Vin? Peso was again pulling, trying to break free. Chris looked down at his hand holding the rope and slowly opened his fingers letting go. He stood watching as the big black walked off ears at attention.

Peso knew exactly where to go. He’d watched Vin disappear. Snorting out his nose Peso walked over to the lodge sticking his head inside.

Willow went over, tree branch in hand swatting at the big horse, "Out, out you cow. Back up." Under her voice could be heard "Go on ya mule, get out."

Josiah stood mesmerized watching Peso trying to push into the lodge, the Indian woman hollering, and Chris in hot pursuit of Peso.

Josiah looked back at the old man. The Grandfather stood stock still for a heartbeat and then pushing the stubborn horse out of the way spoke one command word to the woman. She stopped and backed up, grabbing the lead and pulled Peso away.

Chris ran up prepared to enter the lodge but the old man blocked his way. "Josiah, tell him to get out of the way." Chris growled, glaring at everybody.

"Chris, calm down." Josiah tried to think of the right words to say to the elder while he tried to placate Chris.

Grandfather’s eyes darted between the two white men and the stamping horse. It was obvious that the horse knew Cricket. But who were these men? Taking a breath he began to speak slowly making sure Josiah understood.

Josiah translated for Chris. "He says that is his son inside. That he’s, umm, not right in the head, that he’s a child in a man’s body, and that he’s terrified of white men."

Chris stood absolutely still staring at the old man, still barely breathing. "It was Vin, Josiah even Peso says so." He said threw clenched teeth.

"That may be Chris, but he didn’t know you and right now he’s hiding from us. If we back off a bit, and everyone calms down we’ll try to figure this out. Chris??? You can’t bully your way into a person’s home."

Chris stared past the old man, trying to see threw the walls of the lodge. Everyone waited. With a last pain filled look at the old man Chris nodded once turning, he grabbed Peso’s lead and walked away.

Josiah turned back to the elder "excuse him, we search for a lost brother. His pain is great. We will camp over there, yes?" Josiah pointed with his chin to a grassy spot up stream.

Grandfather nodded and watched the large white man walk away. Wind walked up to stand beside his grandfather. "Are they gone?"

"For now. They mean no harm. They search for a lost brother." Still he stood watching, waiting, but Vin didn’t come out. Sighing he turned and went inside, only to find Vin arms wrapped around his head rocking in pain, near unconsciousness.

Grandfather was surprised. Over time as his wounds had healed the headaches had become less and less. But this one seemed to be as bad as those when they first found him. "Willow? Cricket needs you." The old man stepped out of the way back outside to watch and make sure the white men didn’t come back.

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Late that night Vin woke. Careful of how he moved his still aching head he looked around. In the moonlight he saw the form of the old man sitting near by. "Grandfather, why has the dark spirit from my dreams come here?"

"You know this white man?"

"No…I.. no, but he haunts my dreams." Vin began to rub his temples. "When the great pain comes he’s there."

"Bringing the pain?"

"No." Vin paused thinking. " No, he stands between me and the pain. Holding it back so that it does not consume me." Vin was becoming more agitated as he spoke. "Why is this so Grandfather? Why does this white man come to me?"

The old man gazed off at the other campfire. "It has not been asked before but must be asked now, what do you remember of before you joined us?"

Vin looked away from the older man. He ducked his head in shame. "I remember some things, long time ago things, but nothing of before I joined you Grandfather. The shadows have closed my mind. Even in my dreams there is nothing but shadows, I know I dream but when I wake there’s nothing. Except for this shadow of a man. A man with silver on his hip."

"Yet you recognize the one in black as the spirit in your dreams?"

"Why? He is the enemy, is he not? Why is he haunting me so? Why do I know him?"

Grandfather shook his head. "I think maybe before you were hurt you lived among the whites. Perhaps you even knew this man. In your sleep and in your pain you call for someone or something. I heard this word again this day out of the mouth of the large one. ‘Chris’ he called the one in black ‘Chris’."

Vin frowned, "Chris." He said trying out the feel of the word. "Chris." Saying it again feeling a sudden stab of sadness in his heart. "I….I don’t know." Vin stared out at the other campfire. "I want them to go away. I don’t want them here. I’m happy here." His words came in small gasps as he tried to control the welding emotions.

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The black panther paced back and forth in front of the fire absently rubbing his arm and shoulder. Josiah watched. "What the hell is going on? Why did he run? It was Vin Josiah, I saw him plain. Why?" Chris kept staring at his saddlebags. He knew there was another bottle in there but he was determined to leave it alone.

His balloon of anger deflating Chris stopped and stared across the darkness to the other campfire. "Why? Josiah, why did he run from me?"

"I don’t know Chris. He had a head wound. Memory is sometimes affected by that kind of wound. I don’t think he remembers anything. In time it may come back. But you have to face the fact that it might not. He may never know who we are."

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The next morning Chris walked up to where Vin was sitting. Vin jumped up turning toward him. "Don’t be frightened. I won’t hurt you."

"Not ‘fraid. Go ‘way white man."

"The names Chris. You call me Chris, or sometimes cowboy." Chris added with a soft sad smile.

"NO." Vin was tensed ready to run if the man tried to get closer.

Chris raised his hand in what he hoped was a calming manner and sat down near by.

"We’re friends you know. You got hurt and don’t remember."

"No."

"Yeah, we’ve been riding together for over a year. There are seven of us. There’s you, and me, Josiah, Buck, JD, Nathan and Ezra."

"Ez-ra. Gold tooth shinning."

"Yeah. That’s him. The other’s had to stay back at Four Corners. That’s why there’s just Josiah and me. Four Corners, that’s where we live."

Vin kept listening to the strange words. Some brought flashes of pictures but with the flashes came stabs of pain. He reached up and began to rub his temples. "No. I here. Go ‘way. Hurts." He stood too quickly and lost his balance. Chris jumped forward to catch him. "Vin."

Vin steadying himself looked up. "No, not Vin. Go ‘way." He turned and limped away from Chris as fast as he could.

Chris just stood stunned at Vin’s reaction to him. He started to follow. "No Chris let him go."

Without thinking Chris spun around hand on gun. "Josiah? Don’t sneak up behind me."

"Wasn’t sneaking. We need to talk."

"There’s nothing to say. That’s Vin and we’re taking him home."

"That’s just it Chris. That isn’t Vin right now." Josiah sighed wiping his hand over his face in frustration. "Come on Chris lets go have a cup of coffee and I’ll tell you a few things." Josiah turned and went back to their camp expecting Chris to follow. He knelt down pouring a cup for himself and for Chris. "I’ve been talking to the old man, Grandfather. He said to call him that because he’s so old that he’s everybody’s grandfather now. Willow is his daughter, the daughter of his old age. Young wife. Anyway they are traveling to his nephew’s village. That’s when they found Vin. He was hurt pretty bad. They took him in and took care of him Chris, despite the danger to themselves."

Josiah glanced up to see if Chris was listening. "Anyway, they discovered Vin, he don’t remember anything about his past. So Grandfather cooked up the story about him not being right in the head. It works too, remember those cowboys? Remember their reaction to Vin and the others? Chris, Vin doesn’t know us, except for some kind of dream he’s been having. He don’t remember being with us or who he is."

Chris stared at Josiah clinching his jaw. "Then we’ll make him remember. He’s a wanted man Josiah. He can’t afford not to remember."

"Your right but its not that easy. You can’t just make him, even if he wants to remember he might not ever."

"What do you mean ‘even if he wants to remember’?"

"Come here Chris." Josiah led Chris back to a spot where he could look out of the Indian camp. Josiah pointed to where Vin was with the two boys. "Watch." He commanded.

Vin was showing the boys something. It was obvious that they were having fun. That Vin was totally relaxed where he was. One of the boys said something and Vin laughed. Chris could hear it. Vin never laughed loud. He chucked, smiled, snorted. But he’d never just laughed out loud as if he didn’t have a care in the world.

Chris felt the knot in his gut tighten; this Vin didn’t have a care in the world. This Vin was happy and free. The gunman’s head dropped and his shoulders slumped. "So what do we do?"

Josiah put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "We go with them for a ways. Perhaps all the way to this nephew’s village if we have to. We don’t push Vin. We wait. It won’t be easy, but maybe with us around, familiar faces and all, maybe he’ll remember. Grandfather said we could go with them."

Chris stood watching, becoming more and more aware of the ache in his shoulder. "Ok." Then he turned and went back to where his saddlebags were. Digging out a bottle he popped the stopper and took a swig. Looking up at Josiah, "For medicinal purposes only."

"Sure Chris. Want some help with that shoulder? It’s bound to be stiff and sore."

"Why not," thinking **Maybe one pain can cover-up the other.**

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The next morning Chris and Josiah waited as they others packed their gear and prepared to leave the canyon. He noticed Vin limping more then yesterday, leaning heavily on the staff he had. Taking Peso’s lead he walked over.

"Vin? You can ride Peso if you want. He’s your horse."

Vin turned at the sound of the voice. Eyeing the white man and the outstretched hand with the lead for the big black in it. Vin looked around, everyone had stopped to see what would happen. He cautiously reached for the rope half expecting the white man to grab him. Snatching it he pulled the horse closer. He looped the rope around Peso’s nose and swung up. Looking down at Chris he nodded. " I am called Cricket." He said before digging his hard heels into Peso’s sides.

Vin galloped past Wind shouting something that made the boy jump on his pony and take off after him laughing. They raced around the valley and back sliding to a stop in front of Grandfather who grunted and nodded.

Willow said something to them and even though Chris didn’t understand her words, he certainly understood her tone and the "aww Ma…" tone the boys gave back to her. He had to smile; moms were moms no matter where they were from.

They set out, Josiah riding beside Grandfather conversing in both languages.

Willow and Dove followed with Willows horse pulling the travois. The boys and Vin rode all around, Ferret riding behind Wind sometimes and Vin sometimes.

Chris followed at the end like a black cloud glaring at everybody, talking to no one. He kept watching Vin laughing and playing with the boys. His mood becoming darker as the day progressed. Finally in the afternoon Josiah turned back and pulled up beside Chris.

"You gotta stop glaring at everybody Chris especially at the kids. You’re scaring them. Ferret keeps asking Grandfather if you’re going to kill them and steal Cricket."

"What?! I wouldn’t hurt a kid."

"I know that, you know that but Ferret don’t. To him you’re this big scary white man who wants to ‘take’ his friend. You glaring at everyone, especially when one of the kids climbs up behind Vin on Peso and they ride off having fun. So stop it."

Chris turned his glare on Josiah. "Nope, don’t work on me no more, but I ain’t a six year old kid neither."

Chris sighed, "Ok, I’ll try. I don’t mean to scare the kids. This is hard, harder then I thought it would be. He..Vin, he won’t come near me, won’t even talk to me."

"Nope, and he won’t not until you give a little. Call him Cricket, Chris. It’s what he wants."

"Ain’t his name."

"Nope it isn’t, but it’s the only name he knows right now. It’s simple if you want him to come near you, you gotta give in on this one thing. At least for now."

Chris nodded. "Josiah what are we going to do if he doesn’t remember?"

"Don’t know, maybe Nathan can look at him."

"Nathan? Nathan’s in Four Corners."

"Yep. We’ll end up right near there. Didn’t I tell you, Grandfathers’ nephew, is Kojay." Josiah laughed at the look on Chris’ face. "Been waiting all day for the right time to tell that one."

Chris grit his teeth. "Someday I’m gonna shoot ya."

"Yeah, but not today." Josiah said as he rode back to the front laughing.

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Chris spent the rest of the afternoon watching the children. They skittered away from him if he got close and avoided looking at him. As they camped that night he became even more quite because of his fowl mood. He looked through the wood for the fire and finding a likely piece sat down and started whittling. He seemed to ignore all the others but watched from under the brim of his hat.

Josiah and the grandfather sat apart and watched, making comments to each other in low voices.

The boys became more and more curious to what he was doing and began to beg Vin to ask him. They would get closer and closer for a better view always ready to run if they needed to.

"Cricket" Wind called "ask him what he’s doing."

Vin had stayed on the far side of the camp rubbing down Peso. "No."

"Please Cricket. We don’t know the words. You do. Ask him please."

Vin leaned against Peso. He didn’t want to talk to the white man. It made his head hurt to think of the right words to use. But he couldn’t refuse the pleading eyes. Sighing and with a final pat for Peso Vin walked over.

"The boys," He cleared his throat. The words felt so strange in his mouth. "The boys ask what yer doing."

Chris didn’t stop or look up. "Just whittlin’."

"Are ya makin’ somethin’ special?"

"Oh, it might turn into something." Chris wouldn’t let himself look at either Vin or the boys. He was half afraid he’d scare them off. At least this way Vin was talking to him.

Vin quietly talked to the boys, when suddenly Wind said, "It’s a horse."

"He said it’s a horse."

"Well, I guess he’s right."

Vin looked critically at the carving. "Its ears is too big. Maybe it’s a mule instead."

Chris risked a glance at Vin, "Maybe it’s Peso."

Vin stared at Chris, lost in those green eyes. Then abruptly he stood and ignoring the sudden pain in his back he turned and quickly walked away.

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Vin sat outside the fire circle, his arms wrapped around his knees. He’d awaken from another bad dream and couldn’t go back to sleep. He’d come out side to stare into the dark remembering. He was beginning to remember things he didn’t want to remember, heartbreaking things that should be buried and forgotten.

Grandfather watched him for a time before he went over and joined Vin. He too stared into the darkness.

"Make them go away Grandfather."

"I can not. Why do you want them to go."

"I…I don’t want them here. They make me see strange things. Remember things, bad things. It makes my head hurt."

"Perhaps it is best to remember these things."

Vin’s breath caught. "I don’t want to remember. I want to stay here with you and Willow and the kids. I want to be Cricket. I don’t want to be Vin. I….everything about him is covered in blood. I’ve seen it tonight in my dreams. There was screaming and dying and blood everywhere."

The old man waited. Finally Vin started again. "I remember my mother. My real mother, she died when I was younger then Ferret. Then there’s a dark time I don’t remember much of except being hurt and running scared. Then I’m with the People. I have a new family, mother, father, brothers, and sisters." Vin stops and takes a ragged breath. "Then they’re all dead. There’s blood everywhere, blood all over me too. The blue coats took me. It…it was a bad time. They cut my hair and took my clothes. They took everything that was me. Made me dress in white mans clothes, made me talk like them. Beat me if I spoke the language of the People. I cannot remember all of it. Mostly just how alone I felt. I was alone a long time."

Vin stopped and looked at Grandfather. "For a little while I belonged here with you. Now…now I don’t know where I belong."

There were no words of comfort for the old man to give. He sat in silence thinking and praying for guidance. "Perhaps you do belong, with these men. This Chris is a good man. I think maybe he is your brother also. Not by blood but by spirit. He looked for you long past what just a friend would do. He and Josiah stay with us. They have done many things to make themselves welcome in our camp."

"But I don’t remember them." Vin sighed repeating himself softly. "I don’t remember them."

"Yet there is a connection of some kind. I have seen it, when your eyes meet; your soul knows that this is your brother. It is there so strong it is like a shining sinew between you. Holding you together. Would you deny such a blessing in your life?"

"Blessing?"

"Yes, blessing. There are many people who touch our lives. Some of these people are friends some are enemies. But sometimes, we find a brother, someone our soul knows and intertwines with. If a man is lucky he finds one such friend in a lifetime. It is a precious gift from the Spirits and must be treated as such. To throw such a gift away because it is painful would be a great offence to the Spirits. You are greatly blessed," Vin snorted, "Yes, greatly blessed despite the dark times. Because you have found six brothers and you are bound together. It will come to you, the memory. But until it does, listen to your heart, it knows the truth. Your head is just more stubborn."

Vin looked away, staring into the distance. Whispering almost to himself, "I don’t think I can, I’m afraid." Vin ducked his head ashamed of admitting aloud that he was afraid.

" Yes, any man would be. What helps us face the present is what we have faced in the past. To lose that would be to lose part of ourselves. Yet you acted without thinking when you told the children to hide and came out to face the three white men. You did this without thinking of your own safety. You have faced the figure in your dreams. You stand up to him; you look him in the eye. These are not the actions of a coward. I think this is what you are most afraid of."

The old man sighed, "I do not know what your choices are. I have no answers as to what your path should be. I know only that you are a good man, and I think a very brave one. You must decide the path you wish to walk." Grandfather placed a hand on Vin’s shoulder. "I have begun to think of you as my son. If you chose not to go with these men you are welcome at my fire." With that he rose stiffly and left Vin to his thoughts

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Chris lay very still. He could hear the voices. Not understanding the words brought the underlying pain in Vin’s voice across stronger. Then he could hear the comfort from the old man. Vin was in so much pain.** Did it hurt not to remember?** There had been many times over the last few years when he would have given anything not to remember. To be able to wake up in the morning and not have to face the cold knowledge that his family was gone, that he had lost everything. Gone forever because he wasn’t there to protect them. ** What if you could make all that go away? Or the memory of the war, buried now under many layers but still there. What if you could make those memories go away as if they never were?**

**Was he asking too much of Vin? I know Vin hasn’t had much in his life but bad times. What if we let him stay Cricket, the Indians would protect him. Josiah said they would. Would he be happy then? Or would he wake up someday and curse me for taking away his life and robbing him of who he was? What if Nathan couldn’t help? What if, what if? **

Chris sat up quickly in disgust and reached for the saddlebags. Walking away from the fire and in the opposite direction of where Vin was he searched for a peaceful place to drink again. Only as the hours passed he didn’t fine relief in the bottle or in the solitude. He sat alone watching the sun come up and still had no answers. Looking down he found he’d only drunk a small amount of the fiery liquid.

Signing heavily Chris started to get up. Half way up he looked up and discovered Vin standing several feet away watching him. Standing the rest of the way up he stood waiting.

"Why are you here?" Vin asked in a tight voice.

"I told you we came looking for a friend."

"He ain’t here."

"Yes, he is. He just doesn’t remember."

There was silence, Vin trying to formulate his next question and Chris just waiting. Finally Vin asked. "What if he never remembers?"

"Then we’ll become friends again. But there’s things he needs to remember, things that could cause him harm, or those around him."

"What things?"

Chris took a deep breath. He really didn’t want to get into this. "Vin Tanner is wanted for murder in Texas. He didn’t do it, but he’s wanted. Some men wouldn’t care if he remembered or not they’d take him and kill anyone in their way. There’s a $500 reward on him head and that’s a lot of money."

"You don’t want this money?"

"I told you he’s innocent. He’s my friend."**You’re my brother Vin, can’t you feel it. Even if you can’t remember it can’t you feel it. Surely you can feel the connection.**

Vin stared at Chris his words echoing " Kill anyone in their way…" His breathing came faster as all he saw was bodies, and blood. "No," he choked out.

Chris in three swift steps was beside Vin reaching out. Vin doubled over the lighting pain once again screaming through his head. Chris reached out holding Vin steadying him. "Easy cowboy. Here sit." Chris eased Vin down to where they were both sitting.

Vin holding his head tried to slow his breathing. "No," he whispered, "not again."

"What?"

Vin wrapped his arms around himself. Rocking slightly he stared at the growing light sky. "I can’t stay. I’ll get them kilt. Just like…just like before. Just like before." The rocking grew hard as he repeated himself over and over.

"Stop it Vin. No one’s going to get killed." Chris wanted to shake his friend to get his attention away from what ever it was he was seeing. " Vin!" Placing his hands on Vin’s shoulders he forcibly turned him to where he was looking straight at Chris. "Listen to me. No one is hurt or dead. You understand. Oh, God, Vin, I’m sorry I shouldn’t have said anything."

Vin’s eyes searched Chris’ face. "No…it’s…it’s better I know. I don’t know what to do. I don’t ‘member bein’ white. But I can’t stay. Can’t put Grandfather, Willow and the young un’s in danger. I….." His voice trailed off, lost in the enormity of his dilemma.

Chris looked at Vin then. Really looked at him. This time he saw the short braids and the buckskin shirt, the sun browned bear legs and feet. The old familiar leather pouch tucked inside. This man that sat before him wasn’t Vin. Not really. He hoped that Vin was still inside that head somewhere but right now…right now Cricket needed him. "Cricket?"

Vin’s eyes widened in surprise at the use of his ‘new’ name.

"Cricket, there’s no need to make any decisions right now. Josiah and I will go with you and the others for a bit. It seems the nephew is an old friend of ours. We’ll make sure everyone is safe.

You don’t have to worry about anyone hurting your new family. When we get to the village, then we’ll figure out what to do. OK?"

"Ok."

Chris gently helped Vin up. "Now, I bet Willow has breakfast ready and Josiah is probably looking for me too. You gonna be alright?"

Vin nodded as he got his balance. He started limping away and turned. "Thanks Mister."

He didn’t see the dejected look on Chris’ face or hear the barely whispered "anytime Cowboy."

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Traveling was easier that day. The tension that had ruled the day before seemed to have gone away during the night. The boys and Cricket would even ride beside Chris and Ferret and Wind would shyly ask questions through Cricket. Several times Chris’ breath would catch at the glace of the twinkling blue eyes.

It was late afternoon when the column of dust was spotted. First by Vin and then by Wind who brought it to the attention of the men.

"There’s riders heading this way." Vin told Chris.

Chris squinted in the late sunlight. "Can you tell who."

"Nah, maybe four or five horses by the dust."

"Vi…. Cricket, tell Grandfather to let Josiah and me handle it if its white men."

Vin nodded and rode over to Grandfather.

Josiah rode closer to Chris. "Expecting trouble Brother Chris?"

"I always expect it Josiah. Best be prepared." Chris squinted harder. "Army’s been sending out small patrols making sure ‘people’ stay where they belong. This could be one of them"

Josiah nodded. "Grandfather has traveling permits. There shouldn’t be any trouble." He added hopefully.

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It was another hour before the riders were close enough to see. Chris could feel the mounting tension of those around him. Even Josiah felt like a coiled spring even though he looked relaxed almost asleep in the saddle. Vin had dismounted leaving Ferret on Peso and climbed onto the travois curling up to make himself look smaller. Chris watched in fascination as Vin transformed himself. He smeared dirt and grim on his face and hands and winking at Chris stuck a thumb in his mouth. With his other hand he played with the ends of the lashings. The transformation for man to very young boy so complete that no one would notice the blue eyes that saw everything. Nor would anyone see the long knife hidden between the bundles.

Chris and Josiah rode slightly ahead of the rest of them. Watching as the four Calvary soldiers rode closer. Then they stopped waiting looking the soldiers over. Chris stopped Pony crossing his arms over the saddle horn leaning slightly. Josiah did the same.

The sergeant rode ahead and stopped. He was an older man, by the look of him not new to the west. His eyes swept over Chris and Josiah noting the guns strapped low and then took in the Indians waiting behind them.

"Sergeant?" Chris spoke first.

"I’d be askin’ ye sir what’s yer business here with them?" He voice betrayed a slight Irish brogue.

"Just riding with some friends. Sargent. Making sure they get where they’re going."

"Ummm, and would they be havin’ papers for travelin’? Sir?"

Josiah reached inside his pocket. "I think you’ll find these in order."

The sergeant looked over the papers not noticing one of his men riding around and giving the ‘hostiles’ a closer look.

"It says here two adults and children. I’m thinking it’s three adults I see."

Josiah smiled, "Well now that all depends on how you look Sergeant. You see the young man there is a child." Josiah nodded knowingly at the soldier. "Not right in the head you see. That’s why they got permission to travel. They’re joining family to help take care of the poor unfortunate."

While Josiah spoke, Chris’ attention was drawn to the corporal who was watching Vin. He had ridden closer to the travois and was poking at him with his quirt. Chris clinched his jaw trying not to say anything. At first Vin ignored the man but when the poking became more insistent he batted at the end of the quirk.

The man dismounted for a closer look at Vin. "Hey Sarge, they got a dummy here."

"Leave him be corporal." The sergeant said without even looking up.

The weasel-faced corporal grinned "Sure Sarge." But he poked at Vin again, hard this time hitting tender flesh. Vin batted at the quirk again. But his inaction seemed to goad the man on. Glancing around under the cover of his hair Vin made sure he knew where every one was. When the next poke came Vin jumped up screaming and falling off the travois he babbled fearfully and crab crawled away from the man. Once started it wasn’t hard to let the hysteria creep into his voice as he continued to move.

Willow had sat quietly beside grandfather until Vin had screamed. She jumped off her horse and scolding the white man went to Vin. She stood between them the turning her back she crouched down by Vin holding him and speaking softly. "Are you alright Cricket?"

The sergeant watched with his mouth open, then coming to his senses "Corporal!! Get the hell away from them."

The corporal looked up at his sergeant knowing he’d gone too far he mounted up and returned to the others. In the background Willow could be heard trying to calm Vin and Vin’s voice sobbing.

Vin clinched Willows arm and whispered in her ear between sobs. "I hurt my back. I can’t move."

Handing back the papers to Josiah the sergeant dipped his hat. "Sorry for the trouble." He glanced over at Vin "Real sorry." Then turning his horse he quickly lead the rest away.

Chris waited until they were out of earshot before risking turning to Vin.

"Cricket??"

"’m fine, j.. jest twisted my back some when I got up so fast."

Willow shook her head and spoke quietly to her father.

"He got more then a little hurt." Josiah said quietly to Chris.

Chris was off pony in a flash and at Vin’s side. "How bad? And don’t you dare say I’m fine."

Vin leaned his head into Willows shoulder. "I twisted it good. Can’t move." He said between clinched teeth.

Willow spoke again. Josiah raised an eyebrow. "She says we can’t go any further. That we need to stay the night and she can treat Cricket’s back with hot poultices."

Chris looked around it was flat, dry with little graze for the horses. "What about water?"

Josiah nodded. "Willow has several skins of water and there’s our canteens. We’ll make due." Then he added after looking at Vin. "Don’t think Vin can do any traveling right now Chris."

Chris glanced again at his friend. He hadn’t moved but the gunfighter could hear the harsh pain filled gasps. "Ok, what do we need to do."

Josiah asked and then translated. "She needs wood for a fire and we need to make a place for Vin to lay down on and then she needs to heat some water. We’ll have to move him Chris, I don’t think he can do it himself."

Dove had already begun to unpack the travois and she laid out the robes that they would lay Vin on. Chris and Josiah helped spread them out while the boys gathered fuel for the fire.

Walking back to Vin Chris knelt down. "Cricket, we’re going to have to move you to the bed. I ain’t gonna lie to you about this. It’s gonna hurt like hell."

Vin squeezed his eyes shut and nodded. Willow said something to Josiah.

"Willow said to lay him down on his stomach and try to straighten out his legs."

Chris glanced at Willow and then and Josiah. "Lets do it. Are you ready Cricket?"

Again Vin nodded and when he felt hands he took a deep breath. Biting hard on his inner lip he managed not to yell. But the ears of those moving him heard the moans and grunts he couldn’t suppress. Laying Vin down partly on his side because they couldn’t get him flat. Forcing his legs straight so he was lying fully on his stomach would be too painful.

Willow dug through her herbs finding what she needed she added them to the steaming water. In another pot she added Willow bark to make a tea for the pain. She walked over and knelt by Vin. "I’m going to put the hot poultice here" she lightly touched the spot, "and here. It will be much like before Cricket."

Vin nodded, in too much pain to protest the added pain of the hot poultice. He knew that it would help once the heat worked on the muscle spasms.

When the herb leaves were limp and hot, Willow dipped strips of cloth in the steaming water and wringing them out carefully placed them on Vin’s back. The only sound he made was the sharp intake of breath.

Chris sat down by his friend. He saw the fingers claw at the blanket he was laying on. Carefully taking the hand he asked "Would you like me to tell you how Vin and I met?"

"’k."

"Well, little over a year ago I rode in to this dusty nowhere town. My only thought was to have a drink at the saloon….."

Josiah sat watching nodding as Chris told the story of the seven saving the Seminole village. He would occasionally translate a part for Grandfather and Willow. He wanted them to understand how much Vin meant to them.

As Chris finished telling the story of Chanu Grandfather spoke. "I did not know that he was the one that saved Chanu. Word came to us from my nephew about his son’s loss. He spoke of the man who helped them." Grandfather looked at Josiah and smiled, "He also spoke of the one who found his balance."

Josiah ducked his head, "Kojay is a very wise man. I think perhaps he gets it from you."

Chris continued to talk, telling Vin tales of their adventures together. He never let go of Vin’s hand and felt the grip tighten every time Willow replaced the cooling cloth with a new hot one. What little tea she got down Vin did nothing to relieve the pain. Even so the only sign of his discomfort was the death grip on Chris’ hand.

Hours later Josiah softly laid a hand on Chris’ shoulder. "Chris, Willow says you can stop now he’s asleep."

Chris jerked and looked at Josiah. "What?"

"You can let go now. He’s asleep finally. She’s going to let him rest. Willow says you need to rest too. It’s been a long night and its almost dawn."

Chris eased his hand away from Vins’ watching to make sure he didn’t disturb him. Reaching out for the arm Josiah offered he stood stretching his cramped muscles and then walked a little ways away. "Damn I’m getting to old for this." Every joint ached from sitting in one position so long.

"Ain’t it the truth brother? But you did good, Vin was listening and you eased his pain some by just being there. It was easy to see. I watched Willow and Grandfather as they watched you. I think perhaps they feel a lot better about us being here now."

Chris nodded, "You got any coffee made?"

"Yeah, you want something to eat too I bet."

"Sounds good, I could eat Peso right now."

"Brother that would be asking for big trouble. It seems even Cricket has a liking for that ‘mule’.

Chris grinned, "Yeah there no accounting for taste is there?"

While Chris was eating Grandfather came over. "We must move on, there is water not far so we will let Cricket sleep for a while longer. I do not think moving will be easy for him today. He was still healing from before. This will be even harder now." He looked speculatively at Chris "And I think hard for you to see him in pain."

"He’s my friend." Chris said simply.

But Grandfather heard, "He’s my brother."

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***********Cricket was walking along a flat stretch of land. There was no one around. It was a warm summer day but he didn’t feel hot or thirsty. He walked a bit further and stopped. ‘Where am I going?’ he looked around again looking for some familiar landscape. There was nothing. Turning around he looked behind him and discovered a horse was following him.

Vin jerked awake, sending waves of pain down his back. His head was pounding and his mouth was dry and tasted awful. Slowly he opened his eyes a crack trying not to move. It was daylight but that’s all he could tell. There was no one near by.

Vin tested his legs and back by carefully moving. There was some pain but nothing like before. He decided that perhaps he could roll over and sit up. The rolling over was easy but the sitting up started everything screaming in protest. Gasping he tried to lay back down and relax before the pain got worse.

"What are you doing?" Willow rushed over to Vin. "Are you trying to undo everything?"

"I was just trying to sit up."

"Well ask for help."

"Didn’t see anybody around."

"Cricket, you are as stubborn as, as the man in the stories last night."

Vin looked at Willow. "I’m sorry Willow, I know your trying to help."

Willow knelt down and placed her hands on either side of his face. "Cricket, your no different then any other man I’ve known including my father. Now you must be careful of your back. I can’t have my ‘little brother’ hurting himself."

Vin swallowed hard before he could speak, "You’d let me be your little brother?"

"Yes, you make my children happy, you make my father happy, and you make me smile. You are welcome in our family if you chose to stay. If you choose to go, you will be always welcome in my lodge." She reached up and brushed an errant lock off his forehead. "You have truly become my little brother."

Vin was too overcome with her unconditional welcome to say anything. But the words echoed in his mind. ‘If you choose." "Your choice" Then Willow faded before him and he was staring across a dusty street. His eyes found the green ones; a slight nod and they both stepped into the street to walk side by side. "Chris." Vin whispered breathlessly. "Willow, I remember. I remember who I am, who they are." His breath was coming in gasps. "Willow…."

Willow felt a certain sadness come over her. Now he would go away. "Are you sure Cricket?"

"Yes, but where your going isn’t far from where I live, I…I can still be your brother yes?"

"Yes."

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"Do you want to try to sit up now Cricket?"

"Yeah." Vin reached out for his staff and for Willows’ hand. She gently pulled and lifted until Vin sat up and then with a nod they tried standing.

Leaning heavily on the staff Vin took a tentative step and then another. While it hurt he could tolerate it and nodding he headed for the bushes.

Chris saw him walk away and followed a little behind. Staying behind Vin he came a few steps closer. "Need any help?"

"Go to hell Larabee, I been pissing by myself a long time." Vin said without looking up.

"Yeah, but you can hardly stand by yourself right now……What did you just say?"

Vin finished and turned around. "Which part didn’t you get?"

Chris swallowed looking into the clear blue eyes. "Vin?" **Are you really back?**

"Yeah Cowboy it’s me." **At least part of me.** With that Vin held out his hand and Chris snapped his in the full arm handshake they shared.

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"What the hell do you think your doing?" Chris Larabee almost shouted making Wind jump, Peso snort, and Vin slump over his now stamping horse.

"I’m trying to get on my horse and get going."

"Damn it Vin you can’t ride. Hell you can barely walk. Willow says you need to ride on the travois."

"Ain’t gonna be walkin’ gonna be ridin’ my horse."

"You can’t ride."

"Don’t need your permission Larabee."

Chris stood still going over his options. "Ok, if you can get on that horse by yourself you can ride."

Vin looked sideways at his best friend. Then taking a breath he jumped up landing half way on Peso. That’s as far as he got. His hands white knuckled and wrapped in Peso’s mane he kept trying but could not lift his right leg over Peso’s rump. He laid half on and half off for what seemed like a very long time before in defeat he slid off almost collapsing before Chris caught him.

Nodding at Wind, Chris put Vin’s arm around his neck and mostly carried him to the travois. He carefully lowered Vin into a half reclining position and backed up a step before he looked into Vin’s eyes.

The hurt and the pain reflected there nearly did him in. "Vin?"

"Shut up Larabee, ain’t you layin’ here."

"That’s right it’s my friend who’s laying there. Look Vin, we’re getting close to home tomorrow Josiah can ride ahead and get Nathan. Maybe he knows something to help that Willow doesn’t. But you have to take it easy or you’ll hurt your back worse."

When Vin didn’t answer Chris squatted down beside him. "What else is wrong?" he asked quietly.

Vin put one arm over his eyes and sighed. "I …when I told you I ‘membered? There’s big holes around the things I do ‘member…I… there’s parts missin’." He looked at Chris from under his arm. "What if I don’t ‘member somethin’ important?"

"Like what?"

"Don’t know, somethin’, anythan’ that could get someone kilt."

"You got us to watch your back, until it all comes back. It will get better Cowboy, it already has."

"Ain’t you layin’ here on this thang either."

"Nope, and for that I’m grateful. You gonna let Wind ride your mule?"

"Yeah" Then speaking to Wind. "You ride him, but watch him he’s smarter then most horses and he’ll dump you if he can."

"I’ll stick like a grass burr Cricket. Peso will not lose me." To prove his point Wind turned and jumped on Peso’s back before the wily horse could move. Peso snorted and shook his head, but he felt the firm hand Wind had on the reins and decided to behave, at least for now.

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Before dawn the next day Chris was helping Josiah saddle up. "You tell Nathan to meet us at the village. Tell him what’s happened and how Willow’s helped him. Don’t let everybody come racing out to see him. He’s gun shy and don’t need everybody fussing."

Finally in desperation Josiah interrupted all the instructions. "Chris, I know what to tell Nathan. I know what to do. Stop worrying will you? Your gonna drive everybody crazy."

Chris took a breath and hung his head. "I know Josiah, ride safe ok?"

"I will brother and I’ll bring only Nathan back."

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Chris watched Vin closely although the tracker never said anything he could tell that riding on the travois was hurting him. He had one arm over his face shading his eyes. Chris hoped he was asleep but wasn’t sure.

The headache that he’d had when he woke that morning was steadily getting worse. He felt each rock, rut and bump the travois went over with increasing pain. His back ached, his head ached and the light was starting to send daggers right to the center of his brain. Sighing Vin tried to relax and sleep. He drifted in that half way place that comes between wakefulness and really asleep.

************Vin could feel the rope rubbing his throat the broken fibers sticking him like needles. His hands were tied and he was alone. Surrounded by the enemy. Where was Chris where were the rest of them. He could feel the rope pull making him sit up straighter in the saddle. He could hear laughter as the rope tightened.

"No. Chris?" He was gasping grabbing at his throat ***** Scratching the tight hold of something strangling him. Eyes still closed Vin felt his stomach about to erupt and crawled to the edge of the travois. He leaned over the side emptying his stomach on the ground. He continued to heave until tears ran down his face from under his tightly closed eyelids.

Even with only the dry heaves his body continued to attempt to expel what wasn’t there. Each convulsion sent hatched sized daggers of pain into his head and back. He could feel hands on him and was vaguely aware of voices talking to him. Finally he lay gasping for air, the heaving stopped. Vin felt a cup to his lips and sipped the cool water. The voices were all around him now but he couldn’t seem to make sense of any of them.

Then one voice came to him clear "Vin, can you hear me."

"Mmmm."

"Vin, open your eyes."

"Can’t hurts too much."

Chris looked at the other worried faces. "We got three or so hours riding to go. We got to keep going."

"I know. I’m fine."

"Sure you are." He placed a hand briefly on his shoulder and nodded to the others. They started again.

Later Vin felt what had to be Ferret climb up beside him. He felt the six year old lean down close to his ear. "Cricket? The one with the Honey Voice is back."

"Honey Voice, you mean Josiah?"

"Yes, Jo..zi..ah . He is with the strangest white man I ever saw."

"What do you mean Ferret?"

Before Ferret could answer Vin heard, "Where is he?" and then closer "Vin?"

"Nathan? You’re the strange white man?"

Nathan frowned, "ain’t never been called a white man before."

Vin smiled under his arm. "Ferret said it. He’s only six Nathan. He just sees yer clothes and to him yer just a strange white man."

"Its ok Vin. How are you feelin’?"

"I’m fine."

Nathan looked up at Chris. Chris frowned and shook his head.

"Don’t know why I bother to ask. The truth Vin."

"Head hurts some."

"And your back?"

"That too."

"Vin I’m gonna give you some laudanum. We’re still maybe three hours to the village. It’ll help you sleep ‘til we get there and can get you laid down proper."

"Ok, Nathan."

No argument that worried Nathan. Vin always argued about taking medication. Unless he was hurting so bad he couldn’t argue. Nathan dug out the hated bottle and poured a dose into a cup.

Vin felt strong arms lifting his head and the cup at his lips. He swallowed the bitter drink without protest. Sighing he waited for the strong medication to take effect. He could hear Nathan talking but the voice kept fading in and out until the pain free darkness took over.

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They arrived at the village just at dark. Nathan hovered over Vin making sure he was still under the influence of the strong medicine. Seeing Chanu standing back watching Nathan walked over to him.

"Chanu where can we take Vin? He’s still asleep from the laudanum I gave him and we need to move him before he wakes."

Chanu glanced over at the man who’d saved his life. "You can bring him in here."

With the help of Chanu and Josiah, Nathan carried Vin into a lodge and carefully laid him down. Chris followed feeling helpless because he couldn’t help lift Vin. Nathan then proceeded to examine Vin more closely.

While he was doing this he glanced at Chris. "How’s the shoulder?"

"It’s fine. How’s Vin?"

" ‘Bout as good as your shoulder. You been letting Josiah work it for you?"

"Some," before Nathan could say anything else Chris added, "It is better. Gets stiff in the morning but it works out quicker all the time. I’ve worked it; Josiah’s worked it, like I said I hate farming. Now how’s Vin?"

Nathan sat back on his heels hands resting on his legs. His eyes never stopped going over Vin’s body. "From what I can tell he’s just bruised some. Twisted his back good, the first time, and then this last time just aggravated it again. It ain’t the things I can see that worries me, its’ the things I can’t. You said he’s starting to remember stuff now?"

"Yeah, some. Told me this morning that there’s still some things he doesn’t remember. Was worried about it too."

Nathan shook his head, "If it’s startin’ to come back to him, he should ‘member everything soon. Been havin’ headaches?"

"Yeah real bad ones from what Willow said. But she said they were getting better."

"Willow done a good job takin’ care of him." Pausing to listen to the noise outside the lodge. "Sounds like they got a party started."

Chris glanced out the door opening, "Yeah, I guess the old man is more important then any of us thought. He treated Vin real good Nathan. Took him in, cared for him. Not everybody would do that for a stranger."

Nathan nodded and started going threw his saddlebags looking at the herbs he’d brought. "It’ll be a while before he even starts to wake Chris. Go get something to eat and enjoy the party for awhile."

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Late in the night, the party still going Vin started moving. Then he groaned. Without opening his eyes he tried to determine where he was. There were voices at a distance, voices he didn’t recognize. He could tell it must be dark and he wasn’t on the damn travois and moving anymore.

He decided to risk opening one eye.

Nathan saw the eye slit open. He’d seen Vin wake like this before. Careful not to move or give away that he was awake while trying to place everyone around him and where he was. He reached out and lightly placed a hand on Vin shoulder.

"Vin, you’re safe, you’re at Kojays’ village."

Vin flicked his tongue out over dry lips. "Nathan?"

"Yeah Vin it’s me. How ya feelin’?"

"Don’t know, ain’t moved yet."

Nathan held a cup to Vin’s lips. "Here Drink. It’ll help."

Vin squinted down at the cup. "What is it?"

"Never mind it’s what you need right now."

"Horse-piss."

"No, but if I thought that’d help that’s what you’d be drinkin’. Now hush and drink or I’ll get Willow in here to help me."

"Ah hell." But Vin opened up and swallowed as much of the bitter tea as he could. " ‘Nuff Nathan, ya tryin’ to drown me."

Nathan set the cup down. "Not yet. Can you roll over for me?"

Vin thought about it, and then grunted "Yeah." He moved very slowly catching his breath when he twisted too much but he managed. When he was laying on his stomach Nathan pulled up the shirt and starting at the shoulders massaged his was down Vin’s spine.

"You tell me when I get to a tender spot. It’s the only way I’ll know where you’re hurtin’."

"Um."

Nathan worked his way down, watching Vin’s face often, knowing the flinches would tell him more then anything where the hurt was. When he got to a particular sore spot Vin would finch away from him and of two occasions he yelped.

"Alright, I’m finished. Ya hurt your back real good Vin, it’s gonna take some time for it to heal."

"When can we go home Nathan?"

"Maybe in a couple of days, I’ll just have to see. Listen to me Vin, even if we do leave that soon you won’t be up to much ridin’. Maybe back to town and then it’ll still hurt like hell. And then you’ll be sittin’ around town for another few days or weeks."

Vin buried his face in his arms. "I know Nathan. But I can’t stay here."

"Why Vin, why can’t you stay."

"Don’t want to put no one in danger. Can’t take care of myself much less the others."

Nathan shook his head, "Ya let me and the others worry ‘bout that. Ain’t no one goin’ to bother ya here. Want me to rub yer back some more."

Yeah, it helps."

Nathan smiled as he massaged and he watched Vin drift back to sleep.

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Vin took one look at what Nathan was holding up and prepared to bolt. "NO! There’s no way you’re getting that… that…thing on me. Forget it. I been doing ever’thin’ ya tol’ me to do for four days now. But I ain’t wearn’ that…that…thing."

Nathan sighed; he knew this was going to be hard. "Now Vin…"

"Don’t now Vin me. That’s a corset and I ain’t wearin’ it."

"Yeah ya are and let me tell you why. That back of yours needs support. Its never gonna heal with out it. Vin, it ain’t the bones that’s hurt it’s the muscles around them. These here" He pointed at the whalebone stays. "Will give your back the support it needs. I’ve cut it down and adapted it so’s it’ll fit you. Give it a try Vin. If you don’t you might never walk normal again. Or ride either. You want that?"

"No."

"You gonna try it?"

Vin shifted and the ache flared. "Ok, but you better not tell the others."

"If they say anything I’ll hurt them myself. Now take off that shirt."

Nathan carefully fitted the former corset where the stays braced the weakened muscles. Then he tightened the lacings.

"Nathan."

"Oh, hush up. Ain’t near as tight as it could be. Women wear them much tighter." After he tied the lacings he helped Vin finish getting dressed and handed him his staff saying. "Give it a try.."

Vin carefully stood and took a step, then another. While he was using the staff a little his weight was mostly on his own legs.

He grinned. "Damn Nathan, it don’t hardly hurt."

"Tol’ ya, now don’t over do."

"Can I ride with this?"

"Think so. If it pinches we can cut it down more. Vin it’s important that you not strain your back. It’s gonna take months to heal completely and your gonna think its fine and it won’t be. If that brace," Nathan emphasized the word brace, "works I’ll make a couple more so you always have one."

"Thanks Nathan. I…"

Nathan smiled "It’s ok, Vin, I owe you a whole lot more even if you don’t remember it all."

77777

Two days later the others were on their horses waiting. Peso even stood quietly with his new saddle. They watched as Vin said goodbye to his ‘other’ family.

Vin squatted down in front of Ferret and Wind.

"You don’t look like Cricket, you look like a white man." Wind said his lower lip threatening to push out.

"Can you not see inside my heart?"

Wind nodded his head, "I can, inside your our brother, it’s just the outside that looks white."

Vin smiled "Yes, in here," he taped his chest and then Winds’, "In here I’m Cricket, I’m of the People. I will come back and visit you often. I have to make sure you learn to be a good tracker."

Wind drew himself up as tall as he could. Sticking out his small chest he said, "I will be a great tracker. Cricket when you are old, as old as Grandfather you can come live in my lodge. My sons and I will take care of you."

Vin smiled and placed his hand on Winds shoulder. "I’ll do that, when I’m as old as Grandfather, if you still want me."

"I’ll still want you."

Vin gave him a squeeze and nodded. He laid a hand on Ferret and his eyes met Grandfathers, Willows, and Doves’. Then he turned. His gaze met Chris’. He mounted and turning Peso to face Chris then Vin nodded.

"Let’s ride."

The End