Starring: Angela Bassett, James Spader, Peter Facinelli

Rated: AA for Cheese ass Special FX, Brief Violence, brief titties

Plot: I didn't know there was one? Well, here is what I thought may have been the plot: A rescue/medical team in space answer a S.O.S. signal from a mining crew. When rescuing the crew, they only find one survivor, Troy Larson (Facinelli). While searching out Larson's ship, Yerzy (Lou Diamond Phillips) finds a weird purple thingamaboppa and brings it on the ship to investigate. Then the rest of the crew finds out secrets about Troy, and the purple thing, and as the tagline states "All hell is going to break loose" whatever.

My Take: Oh lord. I remember around this time last year, another movie, similar to this, in the same situation came aboard. A movie hyped up with 'big' special effects and a decent cast. That movie was Virus, and that movie sucked huge ass. So did this one. The best actor in this movie ends up dying in the first 10 minutes, what the fuck? Why not waste off the faggot from Party of Five, or someone else, like that annoying slut on board (Robin Tunney of The Craft). Now you're stuck with a bunch of actors, who have done nothing in the last 5 years.

        First off, you've got Angela Bassett, looking butchy as ever, who hasn't made  good movie since she played Tina Turner in "What's Love Got To Do With It" way back in '93! Then we got James "No emotion" Spader who plays such a one-dimensional character, all he does is show the same facial expression for the whole film, and is supposed to be our big 'macho' hero? Fuck That! Lou Diamond Phillips..oh shit don't even get me started on that bitch. By far, La Bamba was his best movie, then he disappeared, and was in other shit movies, until he came back in, probably his second best movie, and probably the last, the Big Hit. I mean how do you go from The Big Hit, to Brokedown Palace, BATS? and then this shit.

        The story never really started, I mean there was no beginning, and I only knew it was the end when the credits rolled up and i said to myself "What the Fuck was that?". The dude behind me shrugged his shoulders, and started cussing about the film as well, and I was exiting the theatre, other's were questioning themselves to, here's a brief rundown of what complaints I heard.

ME: What the fuck was that?

KID #1: I can't believe I wasted 10 dollars, I mean I only saw half of a tit!

KID #2: Wake up! Wake Up!

ADULT #1: (half-way through the movie) Where did we park the car - ok lets go

EMPLOYEE #1: The crowd is not into this, I say we replace it next week with Chill Factor

        I could go on and on, but I think you get the point.

        What were some of the good things about this movie? Well, It was short, and um.. it showed a cool trailer for "Mission To Mars".. As for the special F/X.. um they stunk a big turd. There was one cool 3 second scene, when the spaceship did some 'portal' thing like when the Millenium Falcon goes into Light Speed, it did something like that, which woke everyone in the theatre up because it was loud.

RATING: 1/2 out of *****

Running Time: 1 hr 31 mins