hell is within


you said
“i’ve touched a hell so perfect
i’ve wanted just to burn alive
in the worlds i’ve treasoned and left vacant
with the diseased and divine”

but pure hell is immaterial
immortal
and forever more than what you make it

no matter how you cleanse
and purge
and flush it all the same
hell is permanent
it eats you, withers you away

hell is not the fire that crackles deep into your skin
hell is not the chaos of the devils’ baneful whims
hell is not impure and hell is never one with sin
for hell is permanent, forever aching from within

and every time you search for escape
every time you live and dye yourself pale
it makes you frail, in each illusioned step towards faith
you trip the wire, kill the lights and dim the pain
through pills of pleasure, thrills unmeasured, will you never
feel the same as when you felt that you became so real?
a truth that’s laughing with you
and that’s lying through its teeth
it knows of what’s real and that you’ll never be
and of what fire hell does seethe
a hell of no dimension
it slips beneath your every whim
to make you believe its pretensions
and destroy you from within

you said
“i held it in my hands
and let it slip between my fingers
it’s so pure and kind and gentle
but if i pray for it to linger
how could it be so detrimental?”

hell is not the fire that makes its mark upon your skin
hell is not the love that fuels the devils’ charmed chagrin
hell is not demure and hell can only breed your sin
for hell is permanent, forever breaking from within

and every time you search for escape
every time you drink and drug yourself sober
it drags you closer, in each elusive breath
snatched so coldly from your lips
and bathed in fire
sent raging through your lungs
like sucking tear gas from a bomb blast
in radiation harvest
in atomic blasphemy
blown away from you to me
from where you stood inside your heart
to me, a billion miles away from anything
and all i’ve lost
and all my worries plagued with fault
buried in the holocaust
hell without hell is within
it sleeps so dormant in your skin
hell devout to insolence
it falls in love and you fall with




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