mafia


watching you run from us
was unbearable,
dodging in every which way
the lightning bolts that were
just potshots
to be honest,

we had no real intention of
actually hitting you
until the kids had finished
playing with that
damn machine.

still it was amusing
with you running over the hills
screaming, i believe, i believe

and when you stopped and shook your fist at the sky,
it had us in tears,
seriously,
you are one hell of a moron
for pretending
that you live at the peak
of the food chain when in fact
you are just another
bottom feeder
who happens to eat well
and have a 401(k) plan.

we tried to tell you
on several occasions that
what you believed in
was wrong but you never
seemed to take too kindly
to our infomercials,
though we’re forced to admit,
they weren’t terribly
convincing and we
apologize for that
foreseeable mishap.

you have a big mouth
that always gets you into trouble,
remember that best-selling book
you wrote about the Christian Coalition being
the equivalent of a mafia?

don’t even bother trying to
cover it up with bullshit
excuses, you put a lot of thought
into making asses out of each
our holy faithful.

we bought a copy the first
day it came out and you signed
it with dollar signs in place
of every S, replying with a sneering
‘at least i’ll be filthy rich’ when we told you
that you’d burn in hell for this

so consider yourself duly warned.

in the near future
your punishment shall be
rendered and your baneful
life excised from
future contact with the
human race.

as of yet we have not
determined a cause
of death.

in any case, expect the worst.




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