knapsack full of a thousand drugged angels slung over my shoulder
i have a
somewhat peculiar fear for a man,
that of sex =)
of being lusted
by a thousand(three0/s) little girls
with wet fingers
and dirty hearts,
of being loved for
nothing: (=
i am the escape artist;
feasting on pills+
chasing their cheapthrills through
dark alleys;
searching for all the
//not-obvious// )in(exits and (out)entrances:
i long to be the silent superstar=
for everyone to know my words(purposefullymisalignedletters)
my feelings(purposefullymalignedheartbeats),
while the important details of Me
remain perfectly;
unhurriedly nameless:
i have a fear of friends and enemies;
“of being too powerless for faith and too powerful for belief;
“of being stuck between
{the rock;}
[the hard place;]
and me.
””
i seek the not-confrontational(yet-insanely-paradoxical) life as
a lightning rod
stuck in the
middle of a
sunny meadow,
a powderkeg
without a fuse,
a poet
who stands alone at the altar,
forever to wait
on his muse:
i too often have a somewhat peculiar
fear of
myself;
(alwaysonthewrongsideoftheroad)
{{who might one day
catch}}
himself
+hisself+allvariationsofHe
desiring
the unholy
melancholy,
the sickly lust,
^^the^^self-righteous^^pronoun that is I
*tendstoboast*
unto the ashes,
unto the dust,
for which i would not trade
all the fascist
vagina(OOOOOOOOOOOO linedup against thewall ratherneatly)
nor the obscenely
moral bliss,
and i have a fear
of fearing everything,
a fear of being too free,
of being invited to play God
in the theater of the open sea,
where all the fishes are said
to seek the open-mouthed kiss,
and all the fairies are said
to speak of
my
somewhat peculiar fear
for a man,
that of taking the
profound risk
of being adored by
A Single Woman
who
should rid me of these fears
and appease me until
i see fit to open
my
anonymous
mouth+
my
fat
heart+
these sickly imaginary poems
that practically
write
themselves so that
in time (better never than
late)
my secrets
become
unfashionable
to dirty little orphan whores [{always hiding backstage or
and fishes and [{running naked through my hotel
[{floors
fairies and
my waking hours are
stewed in a fear that they (and i)
will
no longer
rely on the pornography of
curved words
to satisfy their intrigue
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