knapsack full of a thousand drugged angels slung over my shoulder


i have a somewhat peculiar fear for a man, that of sex =) of being lusted by a thousand(three0/s) little girls with wet fingers and dirty hearts, of being loved for nothing: (= i am the escape artist; feasting on pills+ chasing their cheapthrills through dark alleys; searching for all the //not-obvious// )in(exits and (out)entrances: i long to be the silent superstar= for everyone to know my words(purposefullymisalignedletters) my feelings(purposefullymalignedheartbeats), while the important details of Me remain perfectly; unhurriedly nameless: i have a fear of friends and enemies; “of being too powerless for faith and too powerful for belief; “of being stuck between {the rock;} [the hard place;] and me. ”” i seek the not-confrontational(yet-insanely-paradoxical) life as a lightning rod stuck in the middle of a sunny meadow, a powderkeg without a fuse, a poet who stands alone at the altar, forever to wait on his muse: i too often have a somewhat peculiar fear of myself; (alwaysonthewrongsideoftheroad) {{who might one day catch}} himself +hisself+allvariationsofHe desiring the unholy melancholy, the sickly lust, ^^the^^self-righteous^^pronoun that is I *tendstoboast* unto the ashes, unto the dust, for which i would not trade all the fascist vagina(OOOOOOOOOOOO linedup against thewall ratherneatly) nor the obscenely moral bliss, and i have a fear of fearing everything, a fear of being too free, of being invited to play God in the theater of the open sea, where all the fishes are said to seek the open-mouthed kiss, and all the fairies are said to speak of my somewhat peculiar fear for a man, that of taking the profound risk of being adored by A Single Woman who should rid me of these fears and appease me until i see fit to open my anonymous mouth+ my fat heart+ these sickly imaginary poems that practically write themselves so that in time (better never than late) my secrets become unfashionable to dirty little orphan whores [{always hiding backstage or and fishes and [{running naked through my hotel [{floors fairies and my waking hours are stewed in a fear that they (and i) will no longer rely on the pornography of curved words to satisfy their intrigue

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